


sleeves of my sweater

by lukeyandlou



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Bill Denbrough & Eddie Kaspbrak Are Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Dorms, Drinking, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Getting Together, M/M, Marijuana, Mike Hanlon is a Good Friend, Mild Angst, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon, Recreational Drug Use, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Has a Hair-Pulling Kink, Richie Tozier is Whipped, Roommates, Soft Richie Tozier, Switch Eddie Kaspbrak, Switch Richie Tozier, TW: suicidal thoughts, but its only in one scene and there will be a warning, tw: past depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:20:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 60,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23356873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeyandlou/pseuds/lukeyandlou
Summary: For the first time in his life, Eddie Kaspbrak is completely free. He's fresh out of a bad relationship, and now he's looking for a taste of real life. And he's willing to try absolutely anything - except for another boyfriend.But then he gets assigned to dorm with Richie Tozier - and they're just buddies. Buddies who fuck. What could go wrong, right?
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 104
Kudos: 214





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> So this story is out of the ball park from what I usually write but it means a lot to me and I am equally nervous and excited to share it with you. I hope you can enjoy it! I will update very regularly.

Eddie Kaspbrak was  _ not  _ afraid. 

In fact, that was the complete opposite of the truth. He was walking down the hall with a smile on his face, because he was wearing his new Converse and he had just bought some watermelon flavored bubblegum and he finally had new stickers to put on his laptop. 

He had a smile on his face because he was the most free he had ever been, and because today was the start of his new life. 

He had spent a lifetime being afraid. He had spent his entire first relationship being afraid. But today, he didn’t have any reason to obsessively check his phone, and he didn’t have anyone to answer to. Today’s the start of sophomore year of college, and he’s never been less afraid. Not ever. 

Okay, maybe he was a little  _ nervous.  _ He had spent so long not being his own person that it was hard to imagine a life lived by  _ his  _ rules. He had spent night after night last summer nearly cancelling his dorm applications, listening to what his mother had to say, considering calling his ex back and tuning out the encouragements of his friends. But he didn’t.

Now, here he was. He had made it, and finally,  _ finally _ , he was going to do what he wanted. 

So he walked into the cafe he was supposed to meet his friends at and ordered black coffee, just because it was something new. 

“Hey guys,” he said as he approached Mike and Bill’s table, kicking his legs over the seat. 

“Hey Eddie!” Bill smiled, “Is that a new shirt?” 

“How’d you know?” Eddie asked. 

“It’s yellow,” Bill said, “I’ve never seen you wear yellow before.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie blushed, “The grey was getting a little old.” 

“It’s a good look on you, Eddie,” Mike told him, “Yellow suits you.” 

“Thanks, Mikey,” Eddie told him, tapping his finger against his coffee cup. 

“Wait, is that black coffee?” Bill asked. “Eddie four creams four sugars Kaspbrak drinking black coffee?” 

“It can’t be too bad, right?” Eddie said, and took a sip. 

It definitely  _ could  _ be that bad. 

“Gross!” Eddie coughed after forcing it down, “How the fuck do you drink that shit, Bill?” 

Bill broke into laughter. 

“Hilarious,” Eddie rolled his eyes, but he was starting to laugh too. 

“I’ll go get four creams and four sugars,” Mike sighed, stepping away from the table. 

“You’re an angel, Mikey,” Eddie said, “I cannot say the same for your heathen boyfriend over here.” 

Eddie still liked coffee that had four creams and four sugars, and sitting with his two best friends. Not  _ everything  _ had to be different. 

“You sure you got everything all moved in?” Mike asked as he came back. 

“We got everything,” Eddie smiled, sipping on coffee that tasted  _ much _ better. “I think my roommate moved his stuff in this morning.” 

“Ever met him?” Bill asked. 

“Nope,” Eddie said, “We matched up on the roommate searcher thingy, though, so maybe he won’t be too annoying.”

“If mister mystery roommate turns out to be a huge douchebag, you’re always welcome to stay at our apartment,” Bill offered. 

“I think I’d pick huge douchebag over ultimate third wheel,” Eddie said, “Thank you very much.” 

“Come on guys, he won’t be a douchebag,” Mike said, “Who knows? Maybe he’ll be cute.”

“ _ No  _ dating this year, remember?” Eddie told them, “Absolutely not. No way. Never.” 

“You never know. Maybe it’ll be love at first sight,” Bill winked. 

“You’re disgusting. But seriously guys, I know it’s been six months but I am not ready for something like that. I’m not going to put myself through another boyfriend in a  _ million  _ years.”

“Alright, Eddie,” Mike said, “No boyfriends.”

“Besides, the guy’s name is Richie. What kind of cute guy would be named Richie?” Eddie laughed.

“You’ve got a point there,” Bill said.

They drank their coffee and had a few of Mike’s favorite blueberry muffins, and they laughed. They laughed at just about everything in the world. Bill and Mike were the only people in Eddie’s life that made him feel like he could do that. Like he could just  _ laugh.  _

His friends walked him the rest of the way back to the dorms, and Eddie let his eyes wander around campus. It was his second year, but last year he had commuted and had only been on campus for classes and strictly classes only. There was so much of his school that he had yet to explore, and now he was living there, so he had quite the time to do it. There were so many people to meet; so many new things to try. 

He was not afraid at all. 

So he hugged his friends goodbye as they reached his dorm, and he watched them walk away for a while before he closed the door. Their apartment was a few blocks away from campus, so he would have to get his car from the lot to go visit them. 

He really hoped this Richie guy wasn’t a douchebag. 

He threw his bag down on his bed, allowing himself time to look around. The other side of the room had moved in, movie posters taped crookedly on the walls by the other bed. He decided that he’ll ask his roommate permission to put them up properly; once they had a conversation or two. 

“You like movies?” 

Eddie jumped, sighing in embarrassment before turning around. The boy standing behind him was way too tall. Even taller than Mike. And his hair was way too curly. It should be illegal. 

“Whoa there, didn’t mean to scare you,” the boy said, “You alright?” 

“Oh, uh, um, yeah,” Eddie said, “Sorry. Yeah. I like movies, I guess.”

“What’s your favorite?” the boy asked. 

“Favorite movie?” Eddie pondered.  _ Why is this guy so tall?  _ “The Perks of Being a Wallflower, maybe.” 

“Looks like we’re gonna be good friends, Eds,” he smiled, pulling another small poster out of his bag, a poster of none other than The Perks of Being a Wallflower. “My roommate last year hadn’t heard of it and told me to fuck off when I tried to watch it with him. It’s good to know I’ll be living with someone with taste.” 

“Eds?” Eddie asked 

“Eds!” he exclaimed, “Your name is Eddie, right?” 

“Yes. My name is Eddie. Not Eds,” Eddie crossed his arms. 

“I don’t know about that, Eds,” he said, “You look like an Eds to me.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Richie, right?” 

“At your service,” Richie smiled at him. “We’re going to have the best of years, Eds. I just know it.” 

Eddie wanted to say this guy was a douchebag. But he couldn’t. Because maybe it was possible for someone named Richie to be cute. 

“I’m, uh, new to this,” Eddie said, “This dorming thing.” 

“Any siblings at home?” Richie asked. 

“Nope. Just me.” 

“I was gonna say it’s like living with a sibling, but cooler. Because we get to be best friends. We’ll only bicker on occasion,” Richie said. 

“Was your last roommate your best friend?” Eddie asked. 

“Well, no,” Richie sighed, “But you’re way better than he was. You have good taste in movies.” 

“For all you could know, I could be the biggest asshole in the world,” Eddie said. 

“An asshole with good movie taste. That’s all that matters,” Richie told him, reaching out his hand, “Will you watch a movie with me?” 

This guy was quite the character. He was confident, but awkward, and Eddie could tell that he was trying to hide being nervous. He just might be the best part of his new life. 

_ But no boyfriends.  _

“Sure.” 

They were sitting on the couch in front of the television Richie had brought, who had also brought his own copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. They were about thirty minutes into the movie, and Eddie was trying not to look at him. He didn’t know why, but he just couldn’t stop looking. 

“What are you studying?” Richie asked him, and he just may have caught him staring. 

“I’m undeclared right now,” Eddie answered, “I’m just taking a whole bunch of classes to figure myself out.” 

“Figure yourself out, huh?” Richie kicked his leg up on the couch, his foot nearly landing on Eddie’s thigh, “How’s that working out for you?” 

Eddie smiled. “I don’t know. I just started.” 

“Well, Eds, I’ll tell you one thing about figuring yourself out,” Richie turned to him, “You listen to you and you only. The more scared of something you are, the more you have to do it.” 

“Is that what you did?” Eddie asked him, “You seem to get yourself.” 

“I don’t know about that,” Richie laughed, “I just know I love movies and people. So I’m studying film, and if there’s a party, I go. That’s all.” 

“I’ve never been to a party,” Eddie told him. 

“I’m going to one tonight, if you want to come,” Richie offered. 

“You got a lot of friends?” Eddie asked. 

“Nope. Just two,” Richie replied, “We just hear there’s gonna be vodka and we crash it.” 

“I just have two friends too,” Eddie said. “But I don’t think they’ve ever even tried wine.” 

“That’s the thing about college,” Richie said, “It’s the best time to try things you’ve never done. To see what you like and what you don’t.  _ Figure yourself out,  _ if you will.” 

“Anything you haven’t tried?” Eddie asked him. 

“A thing or two,” Richie answered, “Anything you have?” 

“A thing or two,” Eddie replied. 

They didn’t bother to ask what the things were. Instead, they went back to the movie. 

Twenty minutes passed. 

“Hey,” Eddie said, “Did you mean it when you said I could go with you to that party?” 

“Of course!” Richie said, maybe a little too excited. “We’re roomies, after all. What better way to get to know someone than by getting plastered?” 

“My ex never let me drink alcohol,” Eddie sighed, “He said I’d do something stupid.” 

“And that is the perfect reason,” Richie smirked. “I, for one, would love to see someone as cute as you try and do something stupid.” 

Eddie blushed, and Richie turned his head, obviously shocked at himself that he had said it out loud. But he had. And Eddie was thinking about it. He was thinking about it a lot. 

“You wanna get high?” 

Richie wasn’t looking at him when he said it, but then his eyes drifted to him, awkwardly waiting for an answer. Richie had this energy about him, like the kind of confidence that came with actually knowing yourself, but he was also so very awkward. Eddie kind of wanted to kiss him. 

_ No boyfriends. _

“Yeah.” 

So Richie came back with a joint in one hand and a lighter in the other. The lighter had a faded smiley face drawn in sharpie, and it made Eddie a little less nervous. 

“I’m assuming you’ve never tried this?” Richie asked. 

“Nope,” Eddie said, “I never really wanted to do it before now.” 

“What changed your mind?” Richie asked. 

“It’s something I’ve never done before, and maybe it’ll be fun,” Eddie told him, “Maybe.” 

“Well, Eds, it is my greatest pleasure to convert you into stonerhood,” Richie said, lighting it. “Do you know what to do?” 

“Just inhale, right?” Eddie asked him. 

“I’m gonna hit it first, and then I’ll pass and you inhale. Don’t hold it too long though, okay?” Richie said. 

“Okay,” Eddie said. 

He was not afraid. 

Richie had inhaled, not even a cough, and Eddie told himself that it wouldn’t be that bad. So Richie passed it, and he inhaled. 

Seconds later, he burst into a coughing fit. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Richie put his hand on Eddie’s back and tried not to laugh, “Not too long, remember?” 

Eddie wiped the tears that had made their way into his eyes from the coughing and tapped his finger lightly against the joint, and he tried again. 

That was better. 

So they passed it back and forth a few times, the movie still playing in the background, and Eddie leaned back on the couch. Richie put the rest away and then leaned beside him, gazing at his face.

Eddie had never felt like this before. Everything had a haze to it, and his arms felt heavy. But he felt a sense of relief; of comfort. He felt like he could do this. 

“Do you always do this?” Eddie asked him. 

“Always do what? Smoke? If that’s the case, I’d say almost everyday since I was 15,” Richie giggled. 

“No,” Eddie smiled, “I mean, share your weed and watch movies with someone you just met.” 

“I wouldn’t say it’s something I’d usually do,” Richie answered, “But when I saw you, I knew you were different Eds. Maybe I don’t know anything about you except your favorite movie and that you wear cute yellow shirts, but I knew you were someone worth sharing weed with.” 

Eddie blushed, tapping his fingers along his thigh. He didn’t know Richie. He had only known him about an hour. But here he was, sitting beside him and trying weed with him for the very first time, and he felt safe. He didn’t know Richie, but he made him feel  _ safe.  _

“I’ve never had more than two friends,” Eddie told him, “Except for when I had a boyfriend. But that didn’t really count.” 

“I’m not too good in the friend department either,” Richie said, “A lot of people have told me that I’m too much.”

“Maybe we were meant to be friends. If we’re so unwanted by everybody else,” Eddie laughed, “But I won’t be friends with you if you keep calling me Eds.” 

“I don’t know Eds,” Richie smiled at him, “I sort of think you like it.”

“I  _ hate  _ it,” Eddie laughed. Why was he laughing so hard?

“A cute name for a cute boy,” Richie said, and to distract the energy from him saying that, he said, “So, do you want to pick out our outfits for the party?” 

“Not into the movie anymore?” Eddie asked him. 

“Not as much as I’m into dressing you up,” Richie told him, “Let’s go.” 

Eddie tried to get up, but he stumbled a little, the haze of it all knocking him over. Richie held out his arm to keep Eddie from falling, and Eddie burst out into laughter. 

If only Jacob could see him now. 

“I’ve got you Eds,” Richie told him, “Hold onto my hand, okay?” 

So he did. 

Eddie followed Richie to the closet, still holding tightly onto his hand. Richie leaned him against the wall before he let go, rummaging through the clothes. 

“Let’s see your outfits, yeah?” Richie asked him. 

“Oh, uh, my clothes aren’t very good,” Eddie sighed, “Just gray t-shirts. This yellow shirt is new.” 

“In that case,” Richie looked him up and down, “The yellow shirt will have to do, but with something extra special. I have just the thing!” 

Richie went through his jackets again, pulling something out. 

“Here she is!” Richie showed him. A denim jacket covered in patches of cartoon characters. 

“Richie, that thing is not going to fit me,” Eddie said, “I’m 5’6 and you’re huge.” 

“It’ll just make you that much cuter,” Richie said, “Try it on.” 

Eddie took it from him, pulling it over his arms. The jacket was too big for him, hanging low with the sleeves covering his hands. Richie was eyeing him up and down, a smile growing on his face. 

“You know what Eds? Keep that jacket. I could never wear it as cute as you do.” 

“Shut up,” Eddie giggled, “You’ve got one for yourself?” 

“I think I’ll go simple tonight. Something like this?” he asked, pulling out a black long sleeve with a skull in the middle.

“I love it,” Eddie said, and he looked at Richie for a little bit. He had never felt more drawn to a stranger before. He didn’t think that could even be. 

“You know Eds,” Richie said, “Two movies and it’ll be time to get ready.” 

“Is that always how you measure time?” Eddie asked. 

“Maybe so,” Richie said, “Let’s finish this one and get to Dead Poets Society?” 

“Deal,” Eddie winked. 

So he watched the movies with Richie, they talked a bit more, and he got into the shower. As he ran the shampoo through this hair, Richie’s smile stayed in his head. He had never been so captivated by a person he had just met. He didn’t know why, but he knew Richie would be the highlight of this year’s fun. 

Richie was just a taste of what he was looking for. 

He blow dried his hair, running his fingers through the waves so that they hung slightly above his eyebrow. He looked at his reflection a bit before putting on the shirt and jacket, and then looked at his reflection some more. 

He looked so different than he did six months ago. Six months ago, his hair was much shorter and he didn’t wear color. Now, his hair was long enough for a stranger to run their fingers through it, his shirt was bright and he was wearing the over-sized patched-up jacket of his new college roommate. Now, he had been high before and he was on his way to a party and he was not afraid. 

He smiled, sprayed some cologne, and left the bathroom.

Richie was sprawled across the bed, playing some old Green Day and scrolling through his phone as he hummed along. Eddie stared at him a while from the hallway, because he knew deep down that if Richie caught him staring, he wouldn’t mind it. Maybe he would even enjoy it. 

His curls fell above his face, just hanging over his glasses. He was wearing the black sweater now and black skinny jeans, and Eddie might have just dared to say he looked hot. 

“You ready, spaghetti?” Richie asked, not yet looking away from his phone. 

“Ever heard of calling someone by their name, hm?” Eddie smiled. 

“Not when they’re that cute,” Richie winked at him, and he sat up, finger combing his hair in the mirror behind them. “I just called our Uber. They’ll be at campus pick-up in ten, so let’s go!” 

Richie jumped up and shoved his phone in his pocket, intertwining his fingers with Eddie’s and pulling them out the door. 

Richie didn’t let go of his hand the whole way to the pick-up, and Eddie wondered if he did this with everyone. Richie had become comfortable quite quickly. But Eddie wouldn’t act like this with just anyone. There was some sort of electricity between them, something that drew them together at their first meeting. And Eddie didn’t want to date Richie. He didn’t want to date anyone. But he wanted  _ something  _ with him. 

They greeted the Uber driver, sliding into the backseat. Richie had let go of Eddie’s hand, but Eddie kept his hand close to Richie’s thigh. He didn’t even notice. Richie’s phone rang, startling his hand away. 

“It’s my friend,” Richie said, answering it. “Hey Bevvie! You guys there yet?” 

Eddie let his eyes drift out the window as Richie talked. The night had just set in, a purple blanket coating the sky with stars twinkling here and there. He had never really appreciated night time until then. 

Richie sighed as he ended his call. “Those fuckers aren’t coming anymore. My other friend got sick and she doesn’t want to leave him alone.” 

“That sucks,” Eddie said, and his hand crept back over the middle seat. “So it’s just me and you?” 

“Just me and you,” Richie told him, and he placed his fingers on top of Eddie’s. “I could live with that.” 

“You guys are so cute!” the Uber driver said, “How long have you been together?” 

Before Eddie could laugh and clarify himself, Richie had a wide grin on his face, completely taking Eddie’s hand in his. “High school sweethearts, ma’am. Just got engaged last night, actually. Aren’t I the luckiest man in the world?” 

Eddie’s face turned red and he turned sharply to Richie, who just gave Eddie’s hand a squeeze and a wink. Eddie loosened up, resting their hands on Richie’s thigh. 

“Indeed you are,” the driver smiled as they arrived at their destination. “Have fun tonight boys, and stay safe!” 

“Thank you, gorgeous!” Richie beamed at her as he opened the door, pulling Eddie out with him. 

“And best of luck to your marriage!” she shouted as she drove away. 

“Join me, fiance of mine,” Richie turned to him, “Our party awaits us.” 

“You’re ridiculous,” Eddie laughed, “I seriously can’t stand you.”  _ Why do I want to be around you so badly? _

“You adore me,” Richie said, walking them to the door, “Just hold on to me and you won’t get lost, okay?” 

“Okay,” Eddie told him, and held tightly onto his wrist as they walked inside. 

The music was blasting into his ears, a song that he hadn’t even heard before, but Richie seemed to be into it. College kids of all kinds surrounded him, not a single one of them acknowledging his entrance. It was everything the old him would have hated. 

But Richie was looking around with stars in his eyes, and it was clear this was where he thrived. For that reason, he kind of loved it too. 

“C’mon Eds,” Richie said, “Let’s go get fucked up.” 

Eddie wanted nothing more. 

They made their way through the crowd to a table full of liquor, Richie reaching for two shot cups. Eddie began to feel fuzzy inside, because he was just about to get drunk for the very first time in front of his very attractive roommate, and he did not want to do anything to fuck things up.   
_ I, for one, would love to see someone as cute as you try and do something stupid. _

Eddie was knocked from his thoughts as Richie turned around with two full shot cups in his hand, handing one over. 

Eddie looked at the clear liquid swimming in the cup, squinting his eyes a little. 

“Don’t smell it or anything,” Richie said, “That’ll make it feel super gross. We’ll cheer and then just shoot it, okay?” 

“Okay,” Eddie said. He barely knew Richie. He kept having to tell himself that. Because at this point, he would trust anything Richie told him to do. 

“Cheers to Eds figuring himself out,” Richie smirked, and after he tapped his cup against Eddie’s, they both shot it down. 

Eddie coughed as soon as it went down, dropping the empty cup over the table. The vodka burned his throat, the strong scent overpowering him. He looked up and Richie was staring at him in concern, resting his hand on his shoulder. “You okay, Eds?” 

“I’m okay,” Eddie said, “I’ll get used to it. Just like smoking, right?” 

“Just like smoking,” Richie moved his hand to Eddie’s cheek, tucking his thumb under his cheekbone. “Just take your time, okay?” 

Bill and Mike are not going to believe what he had to tell them tomorrow. 

Eddie came to learn that there were things he hated about parties. He hated how dirty the house had gotten, and he hated all of the noise. But as he had drank more through the night, he learned he loved being tipsy. He loved dancing with Richie, and taking another shot once he had gotten used to it, and the shine in Richie’s eyes when he turned back to him. They had entered a beer pong game against a pair of frat boys and  _ won,  _ and that was something he needed to keep on his resume. 

“Hey, I love this song!” Richie told him, “Dance with me?” 

“I have been dancing with you, Rich,” Eddie said. 

“No, I mean dance  _ with  _ me,” Richie said, and maybe looked a little insecure. “If you want to.” 

“I would love to dance with you,” Eddie said, and Richie pulled him to the center of the room. 

Richie slid his arms around Eddie’s waist, his hands resting on his hips, and moved him to the beat of the music. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie’s ribs, resting his head against his chest. 

He didn’t know what he was doing, or why he was doing it. He just knew it felt right. 

“You having fun?” Richie asked him, his voice soft and deep. 

“I guess you could say that,” Eddie said, lifting his head to look up at him. 

“You look really good, you know,” Richie said, just above a whisper. 

“Is that so?” Eddie asked him. 

“The cutest person I’ve ever seen,” Richie said, “If I’m making things weird, you can tell me. I’ll stop.” 

“I don’t want you to,” Eddie whispered back to him. 

“Then I won’t.” 

“Do you want to go back to the dorm? I think we’ve taken enough of their vodka tonight,” Eddie said. 

“Anything you want, Eds,” Richie said, and rested his chin on top of Eddie’s head as he pulled out his phone to order an Uber. 

Eddie kept asking himself what the fuck he was doing. But he didn’t have an answer. 

He still didn’t know as they left the party to step in the Uber, as he rested his head against Richie’s shoulders. Richie was tapping his foot, and he figured that he was nervous. But for once in his life, Eddie wasn’t. 

They got back to the dorm, and there was a pounding in Eddie’s head from the vodka, but he could still walk straight and see clearly. Other people at the party were on the floor, or collapsed onto someone’s lap. Maybe he would do that next time. 

Richie fell onto the bed and laid on his side, and Eddie laid beside him. They weren’t touching, but their faces were inches apart, their foreheads nearly touching. 

“I’m drunk,” Eddie whispered. 

“I know, Eds,” Richie laughed lightly, “I am too.” 

“I’m drunk, so I’m going to be real with you,” Eddie continued. 

“Okay,” Richie answered. 

Eddie took a deep breath. He wasn’t scared at all. 

“My life’s been kind of fucked. I had a fucked up mom and a fucked up boyfriend, and they both controlled me so bad that I didn’t know who I was. Now that I’m free of them, I’m doing some crazy shit, like getting drunk and high with this roommate I just met. I don’t want a boyfriend, or any romantic commitment. But I might like someone to hook up with.”

“Hook up?” Richie asked, and his eyes were drifting to Eddie’s lips. 

“I miss sex, Richie. I miss it so fucking bad, and if I weren’t drunk I wouldn’t say that out loud but good fucking  _ god _ , I want to suck a dick.” 

Richie just laughed, resting his hand on Eddie’s cheek again. 

“I was just waiting for someone to come along who I could feel that with,” Eddie said, “My taste of real life.” 

“Have you found him?” Richie asked, his gaze intense and his thumb swiping slightly across Eddie’s cheekbone. 

“I think I have,” Eddie whispered, pressing their foreheads together and placing his hand on the back of Richie’s neck. 

He kissed him. 

It was quick and gentle, only a second longer than a peck to the lips, before Richie pulled back a bit, his eyes wide opened. Eddie turned red, about to apologize for reading this wrong when Richie moved both his hands to cup Eddie’s face, closed his eyes and kissed him again. 

Eddie deepened the kiss, and they stayed there a few moments before he shyly let his tongue run along Richie’s lower lip. Richie’s lips opened a little, Eddie’s tongue slipping inside. He moved his head up a little to get in deeper, and Richie sucked his bottom lip,and he  _ whimpered.  _

As they made out, Eddie moved more and more forward until he was hovering directly over Richie, and Richie moved his hands to Eddie’s hips, lifting him and moving him to lay on top. His hands stayed on Eddie’s hips, his thumbs moving under his shirt and rubbing circles against his skin. Eddie had both his hands on Richie’s face as he deepened their kiss, and this was the first time in six months that he had any of this sort of contact so he was  _ hard.  _ And Eddie didn’t know this, but Richie hadn’t had this kind of contact, like,  _ ever _ , so he was hard too. 

Eddie sucked his lip and pulled away, and Richie looked up at him and oh my  _ god.  _ He looked vulnerable and enchanted all at once, and in that moment, he was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. 

Just when Richie was going to whine at the loss of contact, Eddie slipped down to his neck, placing a soft kiss there before biting down. It was Richie’s turn to whimper now, and god did Eddie love to hear it. It made him leave another bite, and another, kissing around the skin there as Richie whined, his erection pressing against Eddie’s thigh. 

Then, Eddie moved a little, and their dicks pressed together through their pants, and they straight out moaned at that. 

Eddie kept rubbing against him, keeping at a rhythm while he kissed and bit and sucked at his neck and collar bone, Richie’s hands cupping his ass over his jeans.

“Eds?” Richie asked, a crack in his voice. 

“Yeah, Rich?” 

“How far is this going to go?” 

“How far do you want it to go?” 

“Uh,” Richie blinked, “I don’t have, um, any stuff. For like, you know.” 

“I could suck you off,” Eddie told him. 

Richie’s eyes grew darker. “You sure?” 

“Richie,” Eddie smiled up at him, “I wouldn’t be doing this right now if I weren’t sure. Is that something you’d want?” 

“God, Eds, yes, but only if you want to.” 

“Of fucking course I want to,” Eddie said, and tilted his head up to kiss Richie’s lips again. He slid his hands down to the button of Richie’s skinny jeans, popping it open with one finger and then moving to the zipper. Richie was breathing heavily, and he looked like he just might be in a fucking trance. Eddie kissed him again as he pulled his pants down, leaving him in his boxer briefs, and crawled down. 

“Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” Eddie told him. Richie nodded, sweat falling down his forehead. 

Eddie pulled the briefs down, throwing them and the jeans to the other side of the bed and crawled in between Richie’s legs.  _ God, he hadn’t seen a dick in so long.  _

He peppered kisses on his thighs, slowly getting closer and closer to the center, and Richie was going to just about burst. But just as he was about to beg for Eddie to  _ please  _ put his pretty mouth on him, he felt his tongue swirl around the tip. 

Richie moaned, using one hand to grip the sheet and another to grip Eddie’s hair. Eddie licked a long stride along it and looked up at Richie, and his pretty doe eyes were most  _ definitely  _ going to kill him. And just when Eddie blinked up at him, he bobbed his head forward, taking in nearly the whole thing. 

Richie threw his head back against the pillow, closing his eyes and taking in the feeling of the warmth of Eddie’s mouth, and he would have never thought when he moved in this morning that the night would end up like  _ this.  _

Eddie kept at it, his eyes shut close as he hummed against it, trying to get as much of it down his throat as he could. It had been a while since he had done this, but from looking at how absolutely wrecked Richie looked above him with his shortened breaths and cute little moans and pretty pink cheeks, he figured he still got it. 

“Eds, Eddie,” he looked back down at him, his hand still firmly holding onto the waves in his hair, “I’m close.” 

Eddie didn’t say anything, only looking deep into his eyes and quirking his head a little, and then went back to bobbing his head even faster. 

“Ah, ah, are you sure?” Richie asked. 

Eddie nodded, shutting his eyes, giving him permission. Richie just about  _ cried out  _ a little as he orgasmed, and Eddie let the come go down his throat, licking the last bit of it off his lip as he pulled off. 

Richie had the back of his head pushed deep into the pillow, breathing harshly as he came down from his high, wiping the sweat off his forehead. Eddie moved upward, cupping his chin and pressing against his forehead. “Did you like that?” 

“Fuck,” Richie pushed Eddie’s hair out of his eye, “I don’t have words, Eds. Fuck.” 

“Guess I still have it in me,” Eddie laughed to himself. 

“L-Let me jerk you off,” Richie told him, maybe a little too quickly. “Please.” 

“Mhm,” Eddie told him, “I’m all yours.” 

Richie sat up a little and pulled Eddie into his lap, settling his legs around his hips. Carefully, he took off the jacket, and Eddie helped him take off the shirt, landing on the other side next to Richie’s pants. He pulled Eddie’s pants down, instantly wrapping his hand around his dick like he was a little too excited. 

“It’s okay, Rich,” Eddie told him, “We’ve got all the time in the world.” 

“I just want to make you feel good,” RIchie said, kissing the back of his neck. 

“And you will,” Eddie said, “God, I know you will.” 

Richie tried to be careful with his strokes, not wanting this to end faster than it had to, circling his thumb along the head as he moved up and down. Eddie laid back against Richie’s chest, and jesus fuck did it feel good for a cute boy to be touching him again. As Richie jerked him, all while leaving kisses and attempts at bites down his neck, he let his eyes roll back and just think  _ wow, this is my life now.  _

“Rich,” he said, after a while, “I, I, I’m gonna-” 

“Come on, Eds,” he whispered to him, “Come for me.” 

And he did, spilling over Richie’s hand and his own stomach. Richie kept moving as Eddie rode down, waiting for Eddie to let his head fall forward before he pulled his hand away. As soon as he could catch his breath, he stood up and reached for the tissues on the desk, wiping up his stomach and Richie’s hand. He put his shirt and jacket in the hamper, and Richie put his briefs back on. 

Eddie laid back down on his own bed, both of them just breathing and staring at the ceiling, because neither of them could fully comprehend what the  _ fuck  _ just happened. But they knew it was something that had felt good; something that had felt right. 

“Eds?” Richie asked, tucking himself into the blanket, looking at Eddie curiously. 

“Yeah, Richie?” 

“Was that a one time thing?” 

“Do you want it to be?” 

Richie paused. “No.” 

“Then it’s a deal,” Eddie winked, “Official fuck buddies.” 

Richie blushed, trying to hide his big smile under the blanket. “But you want to be regular buddies too, right? Do you like me? As a friend?” 

Eddie turned to him, smiling fondly. “Of course I do, Rich.”

“So, we’re buddies,” Richie said, “Just buddies who fuck.” 

“Sounds good with me,” Eddie said, and then turned around, “Goodnight, Rich.” 

“Goodnight Eds.” 

Eddie smiled, the taste of Richie and vodka still lingering on his lips. He just may have found his taste of real life. 

“Oh, and Richie?” Eddie perked up. 

“Yeah?”

“Now that we’ve had a conversation or two, could I fix your movie posters tomorrow? They’re crooked.” 

Richie laughed. “Sure thing, Eds.” 

And he wanted nothing more than to get up and crawl into Eddie’s bed, resting his head against his chest as he fell asleep. But he couldn’t.  _ Not yet, he told himself.  _

Because right then, they were buddies. Just buddies who fuck.


	2. two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a little shorter than the others, but I thought it was an important bridge before chapter three.

“No fucking way!”

Bev clasped her hands to her mouth, her irises shining brighter than the glitter on her face. Stan looked up from where he was frosting the cupcakes, his eyes widening. 

“I’m serious! Like 100%, no joke, deadass  _ serious _ ,” Richie gushed, playing with the stuffed frog on Bev’s bed. 

“You’re telling me you had your first kiss and got your first blowjob on the same day with your new roommate?” Stan asked. 

“I solemnly swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth Stanny,” Richie told him, “My dick no longer goes unsucked.” 

“And you didn’t sneak off and call me right away?” Bev asked, “Jesus Christ Richie, this is huge!” 

“That is not call on the phone news! That is Saturday night sleepover news, and low and behold we had planned a Saturday night sleepover!” Richie said. 

“I guess that’s an upgrade from the roommate last time,” Stan teased. 

“Huge fucking upgrade,” Richie said, “Even if he didn’t suck my dick. He likes good movies.” 

“A keeper I see?” Beverly winked. 

“He doesn’t want a boyfriend,” Richie said, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “But he wants to do what we did again. Like, regularly.” 

“And he’s the one we were supposed to meet at the party yesterday?” Stan rose an eyebrow, “The one who never been to one?” 

“Crazy, right?” Richie said, “He has this whole thing about trying new things in life because his life apparently sucked before now, so he never smoked or drank or anything like that. So I would’ve taken him for a virgin too, but I guess not. He did say he had a boyfriend before, so that must explain it.” 

“Richie, I’m so happy for you!” Bev threw her arms around his shoulders, tucking her face into his neck. “Join me in the hoe life. It is glorious.” 

“Are you going to go all the way with him?” Stan asked, “Since it’s going to be a regular thing?” 

“Well he’s not gonna stay with blowjobs and handies forever Stan!” Bev said. 

“Well excuse me for asking! How am I supposed to know about his dick plans?” Stan replied. 

“I think we will,” Richie said, a little nervously. “I mean, I hope we will. I want to.” 

“I don’t know Rich,” Stan said, “I think you need to be a little more careful about this.” 

“Oh, come on, Stan,” Beverly said, “He’s just having a little fun, is all. Nothing too serious.” 

“Thank you mom, but I can take care of myself,” Richie said, “You’re just mad because you’re not mister cool guy only one to get his dick wet anymore.” 

Stan rolled his eyes, bringing the tray of cupcakes to the desk and sitting on the bed. “So, tell me about this guy. But not  _ too  _ much. Not what I don’t want to know.” 

“His name is Eddie, but I call him Eds because I think that’s a much better name for him, and when you meet him you’ll totally agree with me. He’s shorter than me, and when I let him borrow my jacket it was too long at the arms and it was so fucking cute Stanley, you don’t even know. And he likes good movies and he’ll actually watch them with me and he’s clean like you are because he fixed my crooked posters this morning. I’d describe him as a teddy bear with fangs,” Richie said, shoving a cupcake into his mouth.

“How the fuck does someone be a teddy bear with fangs?” Stan asked. 

“Because he’s really cute, he’s got these big brown eyes and soft hair and there’s even a few freckles on his nose, so he’s the cutest person you’ve ever seen and you want to pick him up and cuddle him. But he’s got some bite to him. Like he’d fight a guy taller than him without hesitation. Teddy bear with fangs,” Richie answered. 

“Fangs, huh? Maybe he’s a vampire. Your Twilight romance is blooming and I am here for it,” Bev said. 

“He’s way hotter than Robert Pattinson, and that’s saying something. He’s really toned-”

“I said nothing I don’t want to know!” Stan said, and Beverly laughed. 

“It’s okay, Rich. When Stan falls asleep, you can tell me all about it. All the gruesome little details,” she said. 

“Oh, trust me I will Bevvie. And you can tell me all about Ben from the library,” Richie smirked. 

“Shut up!” she hit him with a pillow. “I haven’t hooked up with him. I have no idea how his dick looks, so I have nothing to tell you.” 

“And that’s the thing, my lady. The fact that you haven’t hooked up with him and your cheeks go red when I bring him up means you have more to tell me. The good stuff, like how pretty his eyes are. How you wish he was the one to take you to senior prom-” 

“I don’t know guys,” she sighed. “He’s so super sweet, and so cute. I volunteered at the library to talk to him and every time we talk I kind of think of asking him out for ice cream instead of a hook-up. It’s fucking weird.” 

“Well, well, well, look who’s a sap now,” Stan said, “After making fun of me for choosing dating my girlfriend over the Tinder life.” 

“Hey, I have never said anything bad about Patty in my life!” she exclaimed, “That girl is an angel and the best thing to happen to my best friend. And for my other best friend? A teddy bear with fangs.” 

“I thought that guy didn’t want a boyfriend,” Stan said. 

“He doesn’t want one  _ yet _ . He can’t hook up regularly with someone as special as Richie Tozier here and not fall in love,” she said. 

“You really think so?” Richie asked. 

“Of course!” Bev said, “Just look at him, Stan! He’s completely lovable.”

“I guess,” Stan teased, “I just think we should meet the guy before we jump to any conclusions.” 

“I’d love for you guys to meet him,” Richie fell back onto the bed, holding the stuffed frog to his chest. “He’s so fucking cool.” 

“I think you’re catching feelings,” Stan said. 

“I just think he’s cool and hot, alright? He’s my new friend and I’m probably about to give my virginity to him, it’s kind of a big deal. He won’t break my heart or anything,” Richie said. 

“Bev seems to have other ideas,” Stan said. 

“I just could see it, okay? Richie deserves happiness. If this is just him starting his hoe stage, I wholeheartedly support that. But you know how I get my vibes, and I’ve got a vibe about this,” Bev answered. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Richie,” Stan sighed. 

“I won’t, I promise,” Richie said, “He’s my friend, and that’s all that matters to me right now.” 

“Okay, Rich,” Stan said, “As long as you know what you’re getting into.” 

“But if you’re going to accuse anyone of catching feelings,” Richie said, “Bev’s the one who hasn’t hooked up with anyone since she started volunteering with Ben.” 

“I hate you so much,” Bev hid her face in the blanket.

“Dating isn’t too bad, you know,” Stan told her. “Ben’s a sweet guy, from what I’ve seen. You should ask him to hang out outside of the library.” 

“Yeah! Take him on one of your famous Beverly adventures,” Richie said. 

“How about this?” Bev said, “I’ll have a thing. Maybe a kick-back. If you invite your vampire teddy bear, I’ll invite Ben. And Patty could come too.” 

“That’s a deal!” Richie exclaimed, “And maybe Eddie’s friends too? He said he has two friends. It might make him feel more comfortable.” 

“Sure thing, Rich,” she smiled. “You in, Stan?” 

“Sounds cool,” he said, “I’ve got to see if this guy is actually hotter than Robert Pattinson.” 

“I think tonight is the perfect night to watch Twilight, in that case,” Bev said, “But can I practice glitter eyeshadow on you guys first?” 

“Only if we can smoke a bowl after,” Stan answered, “And if you make me pretty.” 

“Glitter night let’s go!” Richie said, “I’ll put on Electra Heart.” 

“The second best album of all time,” Bev winked, reaching for another cupcake. “Only losing to Born to Die.” 

“Straight facts,” Richie said, jumping back on the bed. “I’m ready to get prettied up.” 

A few blocks away, Eddie was just getting to Bill and Mike’s apartment, stepping out of his car and heading into the complex. He had a little skip as he walked, humming to his music. He was more excited about life than ever before, and he could not wait for his friends to hear about this. 

He sped up the stairs to apartment number 36, knocking against the door. 

Bill answered, already wearing his pajamas. “Hey, Eddie. What’s up?” 

“Eddie?” Mike called out from behind, and hugged Eddie as Bill let him in. “How are you?” 

“I want to know what you guys have done in the past 24 hours,” Eddie said, “Because I bet I got you beat.” 

“Okay,” Mike said, thinking. “We got Chinese for dinner, and then we spent the night rewatching old Spongebob episodes. Then today we haven’t done much, just some house cleaning, studying, and more tv. It’s not very hard to get us beat.” 

“Okay, so,” Eddie said, settling onto the couch. “When I got to my dorm after the cafe, I met my roommate. He’s a pretty cool guy. A film student. Anyway, I end up smoking weed with him. Got really high. Then he invited me to a house party. Got really drunk. Then we headed back to the dorm, started making out and hooked up. Not all the way, but we did stuff. Long story short, I like weed and vodka now, and me and my roommate are friends with benefits.” 

Bill and Mike stared at Eddie for a second, Bill’s mouth hung slightly open. Eddie held back a laugh.

“You what?!” Bill asked. 

“I thought you weren’t doing boyfriends anymore,” Mike said. 

“Yeah! No boyfriends. Didn’t say anything about friends with benefits though,” Eddie said. 

Mike and Bill sat down on both sides of Eddie, and Mike put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Eddie, you have to promise me you’re going to make safe decisions. I know things have been hard for you after the breakup, but you can’t do anything that might be harmful,” Mike said. 

“I know you guys are just trying to look out for me, but I promise I’m fine. I’m just trying to do things that I’ve never done before to see what I like. And the things I tried yesterday? The things I tried with him? I liked it,” Eddie said. 

“Before, you wouldn’t be caught dead near weed or alcohol,” Bill said. 

“But that’s the thing, BIll. That wasn’t me. That was Jacob. It was what he decided for me, and I put no second thought into that. Now that he’s gone, I’m doing all the things I wasn’t allowed to do before to figure out what works for me. What I’m comfortable with. And the only way I’m going to know is if I try,” Eddie explained. 

“We’re not judging you for doing those things,” Bill said, “Hey, just because I’ve never been to a party and done party stuff doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try it at some point. I just want to make sure you’re doing it safely.” 

“Of course,” Eddie said, “We took an Uber there.” 

“Does he do these things often?” Mike asked. 

“He said he smokes every day, and he and his friends like crashing parties and stealing the vodka. I’m not sure if he’s done the hooking up. I didn’t ask about his sexual history,” Eddie explained. 

“Well, he probably has one if he was down to be a friend with benefits,” Mike said. 

“So I guess you take back what you said about someone named Richie can’t be cute?” Bill laughed. 

“Totally take it back. 100%. You guys, oh my  _ god. _ He is the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. He’s tall and he’s got long curly hair and he’s got a real sharp jawline, and I could listen to his voice for hours. Is that a weird way to talk about your roommate? Maybe, but I don’t care at this point. He’s so hot and he somehow thinks I’m cute. Average looking old me. It’s a miracle, but I’m not complaining,” Eddie said. 

“I’m glad to see you interested in someone, Eddie,” Mike smiled, “Even if it’s not to date. I want you to do whatever is going to make you happy.” 

“That’s just the thing, guys. I want so badly to be happy, and I think this year is my best shot at it. I was trying to figure out how, and then I met him. He helps me try new things, and he’s willing to have the kind of relationship I want to have. Not to mention he’s cool,” Eddie smiled. 

“He’s cool, huh?” Bill asked. 

“Super cool. He’s a very unique person. I don’t know how to describe him, because I honestly don’t think words could give him justice, but when you meet him you’ll know. He has this vibe to him that makes you drawn to him. Captivated. He’s the most interesting person I’ve ever met,” Eddie told them. 

“So you got the dream guy for your roommate and you still don’t want to date him? Not even in the slightest?” Mike asked. 

“God, Mike, what is it with you and me dating someone?” Eddie teased him. 

“I don’t know! I just want you to be happy, Eddie. I want someone to love you right. Jacob wasn’t love. Love is beautiful and warm and safe, and I really want you to know that feeling,” Mike said. 

“Always such a romantic,” Eddie rolled his eyes, smiling. “That’s what I want for myself right now. But I don’t want to live warm and safe. I want to live on fire. All on my own. Richie is just helping me get there.” 

“Well, you’ll have Mike and I no matter what,” Bill said, “We’ll support you through everything. Through and through.” 

“Thanks, guys,” Eddie said, “You’re the best.” 

“You sleeping over tonight?” Mike asked. 

“You know it,” Eddie smiled. 

“Cool,” Mike said, “I’ll go order a pizza.” 

The next day, Eddie gave his friends a hug before leaving around mid-day, driving back to his dorm. With his new relationship with Richie, there was no way to know what was going to come next. With that thought in mind, a smirk grew on his face.

“Richie?” he called out as he walked inside. No response. 

He must still be out with his friends. 

Eddie took this moment to walk around, soaking in the environment of Richie’s half of the room. He sat down on his bed, brushing his fingers against the blankets, remembering laying there on fire two nights ago. On the desk besides Richie’s bed, there was a framed photo of him with a girl and boy, the frame hot pink with glitter along the edges. There were also a stack of albums, a bong with hello kitty stickers on it, and a journal. He figured it must be the most interesting journal in the world. He had known Richie 48 hours, and he already could write about him for pages. 

There were also two bottles of prescription medication. But it wasn’t his place to investigate further. He would just have to let Richie unwravel himself as the days passed.

The doorknob rattled, and Eddie quickly jumped up and settled on his own bed, laying down and kicking his leg over his knee so it could look like he had been there already. 

“Good morning Eds!” Richie greeted. His hair hadn’t been combed, a mess that flopped over his glasses, and he was still wearing his pajama pants. He had a plastic bag with him, throwing it to the side of the bed.

“Morning? It’s almost four,” Eddie said. 

“And I pulled an all nighter,” Richie said, “I take it you’re a morning person? Rises at six, meditates under the sunrise, stops by Mcdonalds for a coffee before you’ve got to catch your eight am yoga class?” 

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Eddie laughed, “I used to wake up early to go on runs. But I haven’t done that for a while.” 

“Maybe I could go with you one of these days,” Richie said, “I mean, if you want me to.” 

“You run?” Eddie asked. 

“Uh, I made it to a B in tenth grade pe, so I guess you could say that,” Richie winked. 

Eddie shook his head, but there was a smile on his face. “You just have to start off easy and slowly build enough stamina to get stronger. I can go at your pace.” 

Richie nodded, a dazed look in his eye, and crawled onto his bed. He reached for his water bottle and the pills, but Eddie looked away. It wasn’t his place to ask. 

“Can we postpone our next movie screening to ten pm tonight?” Richie said, his face already dug into his pillow. “‘M tired.” 

“Mhm,” Eddie responded, and Richie smiled dazedly before crashing. 

Eddie eased himself up on his bed, and he knew he shouldn’t be watching his roommate sleep, but he just couldn’t help but stare. The longer he looked, the deeper his infatuation grew. He wanted nothing more to learn more about him; to figure him out. 

For now, all he could do was tiptoe across the room to avoid waking him up, slide his glasses off of his face and fold them on the nightstand, and brush the hair out of his eyes before returning to his own bed. 

Before he tucked himself into his own blanket, he saw the plastic bag that Richie had brought in hanging by the bedside. The bag had slid over a bit, revealing its contents. 

A box of condoms and a bottle of lube. 

Eddie smiled, turning himself over and pulling the blanket over his mouth. He wanted nothing more but to feel Richie inside of him, and now he knew that Richie wanted it too. He could spend all his time daydreaming about it, picturing his fingers stretching him out so he could be ready to take him in, feeling him fuck into him until he was a whimpering mess, feeling him make him whole. Getting completely wrecked while receiving the touch he craved without any commitment involved at all. 

The thought made his stomach warm, but he had to wait. He had to wait until it was a night like last Friday, where there were stars in his eyes and a fire in his heart, where he felt unstoppable. Where Richie was looking at him with hungry eyes, desperate to get his hands on him. 

For now, it was time for a nap.


	3. three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's kind of long oop

A little over a week had passed. 

Classes had started, but Eddie already felt overwhelmed by his workload. Taking a science and a math class in the same semester was not the best decision. 

Human anatomy was a hard class and lab was even harder, and it was even  _ harder  _ when he would try to read his textbook and Richie was laying on his bed, scrolling through his phone, his shirt hung over a little so his hip bone was sticking out. He would see Richie do his homework, but he didn’t spend as much time studying. Like he didn’t even need to. 

Instead, he would be on FaceTime with his friends, and Eddie had his headphones in with no music on because he wanted to hear what Richie was like with people who knew him well. He wasn’t too different at all. 

Eddie had taken a few breaks to smoke with Richie when he offered, and they had watched another movie together on the weekend. He was starting to get to know him, figuring out what would make him laugh and what kind of shows he would want on, what kind of songs he liked to sing in the shower. They were content in each other’s company, sometimes while Eddie went off about the statistics professor he didn’t like and sometimes Richie telling stories about the mischief he’d gotten into with his friends, sometimes a comfortable silence, just enjoying their mutual presence. But the air was heavy with a tension that they hadn’t yet spoken of. 

_ When are we going to do it again? _

Richie was in the shower, and Eddie figured he’d be a while so he took his moment to actually focus on his homework. Richie was a fan of long showers, blasting Spotify off of his phone and singing along. 

And Eddie was finally focused now, finally understanding the difference between the dermis layer and subcutaneous tissue and he was so into studying that he didn’t even notice Richie’s music had turned off. 

“Human anatomy?” 

Eddie jumped. Richie was leaning over the desk, his hair long and wet and dripping over the sides of his face, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. 

_ Jesus fucking Christ _ . 

“Yeah,” Eddie said, trying not to stare, trying to figure out if Richie was even aware of what he was doing. 

“I took it for general ed last semester,” Richie said, “Piece of cake! I could help you study, if you want.” 

“I-I’m just learning about skin,” Eddie said, “The different layers.” 

“Yeah?” Richie asked, “Let me see.” 

Richie leaned over, his chest pressing against Eddie’s back, and his arm was reached over to look at the textbook, his skin only  _ barely  _ touching Eddie’s. It was going to kill him. 

Richie ran his finger lightly over the page, concentrating on the material. Eddie let his eyes lock on his face, but quickly returned them to the page when he moved. 

“I remember this shit,” Richie said, “Did you know the skin as an organ can weigh like ten pounds?” 

“That’s disgusting,” Eddie squirmed, and maybe, maybe, that would kill his boner. But it didn’t. 

Because Richie started talking about science, and Eddie wasn’t listening. He was focusing on the bare skin against the back of his shirt and trying not to turn around and kiss him. 

Technically, he  _ could _ . They did have an agreement. But they hadn’t done anything since it happened, and he didn’t know how to bring it up. 

Maybe, if Richie had decided to come out half naked, he was trying to get something to happen too. 

But he didn’t make a move, and it didn’t look like he was going to, through all of his ranting about the integumentary system that Eddie wasn’t listening to, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Hey, can we study later?” Eddie asked, “I, uh, have to take a shower.” 

“Sure?” Richie answered, “You okay, Eds?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” he said, closing the book. “I’m, yeah. I’m fine.” 

“Whatever you say,” Richie said, and he started to step away. Eddie winced at the lack of contact, but he didn’t catch it. “I’m thinking of ordering a pizza tonight, you down?” 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Eddie smiled, and zipped his way to the bathroom. 

That was horrifying. 

Trying not to look suspicious, he turned on the shower, the floor still a little wet from when Richie was in here. 

His mind was locked on Richie, and he wished he could spend forever studying every inch of his chest, sucking bites into all the skin he could reach. He wanted him on top of him, holding him down with his wet hair dripping down on him, holding his hips into place and just  _ feeling  _ him. 

Eddie couldn’t take it anymore. 

He threw off his clothes and jumped in the shower, letting the water fall over his hair. The hot water felt good against his skin, but there was no way around how achingly hard he was. 

So he pumped himself, and he pumped himself  _ hard _ , because he was so lost in imagining Richie’s lips wrapped around his dick that he forgot about everything else, his eyes scrunched shut and his back against the shower wall. He almost forgot where he was, and certainly forgot how loud he might be, melting into his fantasy of Richie getting in the shower with him, pushing him against the wall, the water pouring over him-

And that did it. He took a few seconds to wind down, trying to catch the breath he had been holding in, his heartbeat shaking his whole body. Fuck. 

It might have been wrong to jerk off to someone when they were sitting in the next room, but Eddie had a taste of Richie before, and he was dying for a taste again. He didn’t think he could take it anymore. Everything about Richie captivated him, drew him in, made him weak. 

So after actually showering, he got out and threw his clothes back on, brushing his hair out of his eyes and came back out. 

“You know,” Richie said, who had now put some clothes on, once Eddie came back into the room, “I could have done that for you.” 

The color in Eddie’s face flushed, and he really did need to learn how to pay attention to how loud he was being. 

“I, uh,” Eddie started. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Richie said, “You swallowed my cum last week. I could always do the same for you.” 

“I didn’t know how to bring it up,” Eddie said, a little awkwardly.

“I went to the store and got, you know, stuff,” Richie said, “If you want to do that soon.” 

“I know, I saw,” Eddie said, “I do.” 

“Good to know,” Richie winked, “Now, while you’ve been in the shower fucking your fist I got some news I’ve been dying to tell you!”

Eddie blushed, and he was really going to have to get used to how blunt Richie was. “What’s up?” 

“So,” Richie said, an eager smile on his face, jumping off the bed and grabbing Eddie’s wrists, “You remember my friend Bev, right?” 

“Yes,” Eddie replied. 

“Her aunt’s out of town this weekend. Her place is like half an hour from here. So she wants to have a pool party kickback and told me to invite you and your two friends too!”

“Really?” Eddie asked. 

“Really,” Richie said, and it was kind of adorable how excited he was about this. 

“I’m down, and I’m sure my friends would be too,” Eddie said, “But they’ve never drank or smoked before, like how I was. I don’t know if they’d do that.” 

“That’s alright,” Richie said, “I’d love to meet them. Anyone who’s friends with you must be amazing.” 

“And everyone who’s friends with you must be...interesting,” Eddie smiled, “But yeah. Bill and Mike are pretty great. They’ve always had my back, through everything.” 

“Bev and Stan are pretty interesting,” Richie said, “You kind of have to be to be in our friend group. You take people who are too much for everyone else and band together in solidarity, terrorizing society together. You’d fit right in.” 

“I’d fit right in, huh?” Eddie laughed. 

“I could definitely see you terrorizing society,” Richie said, “I could see it in your eyes.” 

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Eddie said, “Chances are I’d love to terrorize the world with you.” 

Richie’s eyes lit up, like it was the best thing anyone had ever told him. “C’mon Eds. Let’s go watch tv until the pizza gets here. Studying can wait. What genre you feeling?” 

“Maybe a thriller. Or suspense,” Eddie said. 

“You got it,” Richie said, and led Eddie to the couch, throwing his arm around his shoulders as he reached for the remote. Eddie was frozen for a minute, but decided to lean into him. Richie always felt so warm. 

The next few days went like that - movies, studying, and pizza delivery. Eddie had told his friends about the party, and they were delighted to go, more than intrigued in meeting Eddie’s special roommate. And almost just as intrigued in seeing Eddie drunk.

“It’s Saturday mornin’!” Richie shouted quite too early, jumping out of his bed and into Eddie’s, pulling off his blanket. 

“Goddamnit Rich, it’s too early for this!” Eddie groaned, pulling the blanket back over his eyes. 

“It’s just past ten a.m. my dear,” Richie said, “And we’ve got a party at three!”

“That gives me until two to sleep,” Eddie said. 

“Don’t you want McDonalds pancakes? I was really thinking we could go get McDonald’s pancakes,” Richie said. 

Eddie pulled the blanket down, looking at Richie with half-opened eyes. “McDonald’s pancakes? Can’t it wait until eleven?” 

“Please, please, please,” Richie pouted. 

“Fine,” Eddie sighed, stretching his arms and sliding off the bed. “Only because you asked nicely.” 

“We’re going in our pajamas,” Richie said, “There’s no other way to go get McDonald’s pancakes.” 

“Okay Rich,” Eddie shook his head, but Richie grabbed his keys and Eddie’s hand and they made the trek to the parking lot. 

“Pre-game,” Richie smirked as they got into the car, “McDonald’s and 2000s music.” 

“You know what? You look like a 2000s music guy,” Eddie laughed. 

“It fucking slaps, Eds. 2010s pop could never reach its level. The best they had was One Direction,” Richie said, turning up the music and driving out. 

He was humming along to the music, a smile on his face, genuinely reflecting pure joy for the events of the day. Eddie just leaned against the car window and watched him, because he had never met anyone like him before, and looking at Richie made him forget more and more about Jacob. 

_ No. Boyfriends.  _

He turned his face away. 

They got to McDonald’s, ate their pancakes, and Richie somehow got his lanky body into the playplace to go on the slide once before the manager came barging in. 

“It’s so nice out today, Eds!” Richie said as they walked back to the car, still taking Eddie’s hand in his. “A warm day on the last Saturday of August, perfect for the party.” 

“You sure are excited, huh?” Eddie said, “You’ve always been full of energy but this is a whole new level.” 

“Of course I am!” Richie exclaimed, “You’re gonna meet my best friends in the world, and I’m gonna meet your best friends in the world, and we’re going to have a party with swimming and those are two of my favorite things. And I know you haven’t known me long, but I really like you Eds. Introducing you to Bev and Stan and getting to know the people close to you means a lot to me.” 

Eddie blushed, and tried to make himself not smile too big.  _ No boyfriends.  _

“Not to mention,” Richie said, “Last time we got drunk together, I have to say I liked the outcome.” 

“Shut up,” Eddie teased, elbowing Richie’s ribs. But he was right. 

Tonight would probably be the night. 

So they got home, both of them waiting for the agonizing hours to pass, and it was finally time to get ready. Eddie was grateful that he packed his swim trunks for the dorm. 

He was wearing the trunks and one of his old gray t-shirts, but Richie had told him to pack clothes for after swimming so he brought his jeans and an old red hoodie. He kind of hated that hoodie, because Jacob had given it to him. But he was going to have Richie all over him tonight, and his smell on that hoodie would symbolize his new life. It wouldn’t have a single trace of Jacob anymore. 

He smirked at the thought, and then turned around to meet Richie, who was practically jumping out the door. 

“You texted your friends the address right?” Richie asked. 

“Yep,” Eddie said, “They’re all set.” 

“Fuck yeah,” Richie said, “Let’s bounce.” 

Richie called the Uber, because there was no way they weren’t going to get drunk tonight. 

“So, it’s just Bev and Stan?” Eddie asked, once they were in the Uber. 

“And Stan’s girlfriend Patty,” Richie said, “Oh, and, the best part! Bev is totally crushing on this guy Ben that she volunteers with, and she will not admit it because she’s not into the dating scene, but I convinced her to invite him. They’re totally gonna date.” 

“Or maybe they’ll just hook up,” Eddie said, “If she doesn’t want to date.” 

“That’s the thing, Eds,” Richie said, “She doesn’t want to date because she hasn’t met someone worth dating. That’s the way it always is.” 

Eddie nodded, turning his gaze out the window. 

_ That’s the way it always is.  _

That couldn’t be true. Any dating was dangerous. Any dating could make him hurt like that again. Especially when someone who’s worth dating leaves him behind. 

He couldn’t take the risk. 

But then, Richie was rambling again, and Eddie quickly diverted his attention. Richie had a way of doing that. He could be thinking about anything in the world, and it suddenly wouldn’t matter anymore once Richie started talking to him. 

Unless he’s talking about human anatomy and Eddie has a seriously huge boner. 

They arrived at Bev’s aunt’s, a cute little house down Starlight Ave in a suburb, and they thanked their Uber driver before heading out. 

Eddie was a little nervous. Last time he had been to a party, it had been him and Richie with random people. People he would never see again. This was a  _ much  _ smaller group, and these were Richie’s best friends. These were people who were probably going to be quite a part of his life this year. 

Thank god Mike and Bill were coming. 

“C’mon Eds!” Richie pulled his arm, “Let’s go!” 

Richie opened the door of the house, still pulling Eddie along with him. Eddie hardly got a chance to look at the house before Richie was dragging him to the backyard. 

“Bevvie, my girl!” Richie announced, “We have arrived!” 

Bev turned around from where she was talking to Stan and Patty and ran up to Richie in excitement, jumping into his arms. Eddie stood slightly behind Richie, and he really wanted Bill and Mike to get there. 

“Eds, this is Bevvie!” Richie said, twirling her around to face Eddie. “Isn’t she beautiful?” 

“Shut up Richie,” Bev laughed, and embraced Eddie in a hug. “Hi Eddie! It’s so nice to meet you and I’m so happy you came!” 

“Nice to meet you too and thanks more for the invite,” Eddie returned the hug. “Thanks more? Is that a thing?” 

“It is now,” she said, “C’mon! Let’s introduce you to Stan and Pat.” 

“Stan! Pat!” Richie called out, “Get over here!” 

The two walked over, and their energy seemed calmer than that of Bev and Richie, but it was still there. Still people that would terrorize society. 

“Hey,” Eddie smiled. Stan was looking at him a little too long, and it was starting to worry him, but then he smiled. 

“I’m Stan,” he said, “Nice to finally meet you.” 

“I’m Patty,” the girl said, “And you are Richie’s roommate, right?” 

“Right,” Eddie nodded. 

“Bless your soul for putting up with that fool enough to live with him,” Stan said, and just as he finished his sentence, Richie was spraying whipped cream down his throat. 

“My point exactly,” Stan said, “I don’t know if you’ve figured it out yet, but he’s a menace to society.” 

“I’ve figured it out,” Eddie laughed, “And it’s all good. I’m a menace to society too.” 

Stan nodded a little, and his expression looked nothing short of impressed. A smirk on his face, like he had hit a revelation. 

Just before Eddie could think about the way Stan looked at him too much, his phone was ringing. Bill and Mike were there. 

“My friends,” Eddie said, “I’ll be right back.” 

“I’ll be waiting, Eds,” Richie winked, before spraying more whipped cream into his mouth. 

Eddie gave them a slight smile before he turned to walk through the house through the front door. He quickly slid through the house, seeing his friends standing at the door. 

“Hey guys!” he greeted, hugging them. 

“Hey Eddie!” Mike said, “How are you?” 

“Pretty good,” he replied, “Richie’s real excited to meet you guys.” 

“Is there food here?” Bill asked. 

“Bill!” Mike slapped his shoulder. 

“What? I’m starving!” Bill said. 

Eddie laughed. “They’re going to have pizza and chips. AKA the only food that college students consume.” 

“We brought some chips too,” Mike said, pulling a large Doritos bag from his things. “We thought it’d be a nice thing to do, since we were invited.” 

“You guys are too nice for any of us,” Eddie laughed. “C’mon, let’s go.” 

“Hey!” a guy called out from behind them, walking over. “Are you guys friends of Bev’s?” 

“I’m a friend of her friend,” Eddie said, “Wait, are you Ben?” 

“Yes,” he said, “She told you about me?” 

“Uh, I may have asked who was invited,” Eddie smiled, “Come on, everybody’s out back.” 

“Thanks, man!” Ben said, and followed them out. Ben had kind eyes, the kind that tell you that you could tell him anything in the world and he wouldn’t judge you. He could kind of see how Bev would change her mind about dating for a guy like that. 

_ But the same wouldn’t happen to him. No fucking way.  _

Mike gave him a knowing look, a crooked smile before walking forward, almost like he could somehow know what Eddie was thinking about. Like he was some kind of mind reader or something. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was one. 

They opened the backdoor and entered the yard, where Stan was arguing with Richie about eating all the whipped cream while Bev and Patty chatted amongst themselves, as if they were completely used to tuning out Richie and Stan’s bullshit. Eddie loved it. 

“Oh, hi Ben!” Bev said when she noticed him, “And Eddie’s friends!” 

“Hey!” Richie shouted, tossing the whipped cream can to the side and practically jumping over. “I am totally stoked to meet you. All of you. Like, you do not understand how stoked I am. I think I’m going to bust a nut just from looking at you.” 

“I am so sorry that you have the displeasure of meeting him,” Stan said, “But I’m glad to see you guys! The rest of us are perfectly normal people, I swear.” 

“Hiding behind lies, Stanny?” Richie asked, “Stan wears underwear with dinosaurs on them. Patty can confirm.” 

“Yeah, dinosaur underwear you bought me for Christmas!” Stan defended. 

“You two are going to scare them away!” Bev said, “I am so sorry for my best friends. I promise they’re lovable when you get used to them.” 

“You are Beverly, right?” Bill asked. 

“I am!” she beamed, “Eddie’s friends?” 

“We are!” Mike said, “Thank you for inviting us Beverly! This is a wonderful home!” 

“Also, we brought some Doritos,” Bill said, “I hope you guys like those.” 

“Aw, you guys are so sweet! I adore you,” she said, “And please, call me Bev.” 

“I brought something too,” Ben said, “Just a strawberry soda.” 

“Ben, you’re so fucking hot,” Richie blew a kiss, “So is Eds. You guys should have a photoshoot or something.” 

“This is your roommate, right?” Bill whispered to Eddie, as Ben started talking to the others. 

“Correct,” Eddie told him, “I swear he’s cute when he stops talking.” 

“He is cute,” Mike smiled, “He’s something else, that’s for sure. I like him.” 

“And this is what he’s like sober?” Bill laughed, “Tonight’s going to be interesting.” 

“Anyone hungry?” Patty asked, “The pizza just got here.” 

“Yes! I am!” Bill jetted to the pizza, and Mike shook his head. 

“That’s my boyfriend for you,” Mike said to Ben, “We just had pizza last night.” 

“Do you eat anything else in college?” Ben replied. 

“Thank you!” Eddie said, “It’s so fucking true! I feel like I’d eat salad for dinner instead and instantly collapse.” 

Ben laughed, “I’m hungry too. I could use some pizza.” 

“Stan, you better not have ordered pineapple,” Richie said, “I swear to god I will throw you in the pool right this second.” 

“Pineapple is good, you tasteless bitch!” Stan said, “Isn’t it Patty?” 

“Sorry love, I’m going to have to agree with Richie on this one,” Patty said, “It just doesn’t match.” 

“Does anyone here like pineapple pizza?” Stan asked, “Please reveal yourselves.” 

“I do,” Mike said. 

“Thank you! What’s your name?” Stan replied. 

“I’m Mike,” he smiled. 

“Mike is better than all of you,” Stan said, “And I’m Stan, by the way. Let’s eat the fuck out of this pizza.” 

“I’m Bill,” Bill said, a piece of pineapple pizza in his mouth, “And I’ll eat anything.” 

“He seriously will eat anything,” Eddie said, “It’s a bit concerning.” 

“The rest of us with rights can eat the pepperoni,” Richie said, “Let’s go! I wanna go swimming!” 

So they ate, made small talk, as small as they could before Richie would enter the conversation. Richie didn’t do small talk.

Finally, once their meal was settled, they got into their swimwear and stood above the water. 

“Who’s going in first?” Stan asked, “That water is cold as fuck.” 

“You are!” Richie said, pushing Stan into the water. “Ha!” 

Stan swam back up, shaking his hair out of his face. “I fucking hate you and I hope you know that.” 

“Let’s go, Eds!” Richie said, and before Eddie could protest he was picking him up bridal style and jumping into the pool. 

Bev and Patty held hands and jumped in together, and the others followed. Stan tried to drown Richie once he let go of Eddie, but Patty kissed him on the cheek and he decided to be nice enough to let him go. 

They swam for the next few hours, and everyone had gotten along pretty quick, like they were meant to be together. Bev and Ben had been talking in the corner, and Stan and Patty had quickly got in conversation with Bill and Mike about the latest Marvel movies, while Richie and Eddie swam around in the water, Eddie’s legs wrapped around his waist. 

“I’m so happy everyone got on,” Eddie said, “And Ben’s a cool guy. I’m happy for Bev.” 

“Do you think he’s worth dating?” Richie asked him. 

“Perhaps,” Eddie said, “We’ll find out when he’s drunk. That’s always when true colors are revealed.” 

Richie smiled at him, and then turned back to look at the others. 

_ Do you think I’d be worth dating?  _

He didn’t say it. 

As the evening began, they slowly got out of the pool and changed into normal clothes, and Bev turned on the bonfire. 

“Alright,” she said, “Who wants to get fucked up? I have white claw.” 

“I’ll have some,” Bill said. 

“Bill, are you for real?” Eddie said. 

“We took an Uber too,” Mike said, “Why not?” 

“Fuck yeah,” Richie said, “How about you, Benny boy?” 

“I’m down,” Ben said, “You got black cherry?” 

“Black cherry is disgusting,” Stan laughed, “Raspberry’s the best.” 

“Good thing I got a multi-pack,” Bev said, “And I got quite a few packs.” 

“Let’s go!” Richie said, and once they all grabbed their first can, “Cheers to meeting people who are actually fucking cool.” 

As they kept drinking, they figured out a few things. Mike was a very affectionate drunk, proclaiming his love for Bill and giving Eddie the tightest random hugs, and telling Stan and Patty that they just might be the coolest people in the world. Patty was a lot more outgoing, asking everyone about their passions in life and telling them she believed in them with all of her heart. Bill was even more hungry than usual and ate almost the whole bag of Doritos. 

“Oh my god, this is our song!” Bev exclaimed, “Richie! Stan! It’s our song!” 

“Yes!” Richie cheered, and the three of them jumped away from where they were standing and joined hands, spinning like crazy and singing something about feeling the rain on your skin. 

“This is their song,” Patty said, “They’d do this sober.” 

Eddie laughed, and he watched Richie fondly. He couldn’t stop watching. 

“Mike?” he whispered, hoping Patty and Ben couldn’t hear from where they were talking a few feet away. 

“What’s up Eddie?’ Mike responded. 

“I like Richie a lot,” he said, “I really do.” 

“Changing your mind about dating?” Mike asked. 

“No. That’s the thing,” he said, “It hurts because I really like him but I can’t date him. I can’t risk that.” 

“Some people are worth the risk,” Mike said. “When you find the right one. And from the way he looks at you? I think he likes you too.” 

“I think I’ll just let him fuck me tonight,” Eddie said, “That fixes everything.” 

Mike shook his head. “Please be careful, Eddie. Feelings are delicate. I want you happy.” 

“I am happy,” Eddie said, “I’ve known him a little short of two weeks and I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I think.” 

“Think about that. Think about what you just said,” Mike told him, “And then think about it again.” Mike kissed him on his temple and jumped up, walking over to Bill to also take a handful of chips. 

“Hey Eds,” Richie said as his song with his friends ended, “Dance with me!” 

“Okay,” Eddie said, and Richie swung him up, holding him to his chest. 

“I want this sweater to smell like you,” Eddie said, “Don’t ask why. I just want it too.” 

“Okay,” Richie said, digging his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck, “I’ll do anything you want, Eds.” 

“Those two are cute,” Ben told Bev from the other side of the yard, “How long have they been together?” 

Bev laughed. “They’re actually not. They’re roommates that met two weeks ago.” 

“You serious?” Ben asked, “Wow. You could’ve told me they were high school sweethearts and I would have believed you.” 

“I like Eddie. I think he’s a good fit for Richie,” Stan said, “I see potential in them.” 

“They’re oblivious idiots. Maybe we’ll have to intervene,” Bev said.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Stan said, “Right now, I’m drunk and I might just go over there and tell Eddie to get the fuck over himself and ask him out.” 

“I don’t think it’ll take too much intervening,” Patty laughed, “Just look at them.”

Eddie had his head tilted back a little to look at Richie, and his eyes reflecting back at him with a little more than lust. Something like desire. 

Eddie felt Richie’s arms around his waist and by the way he was looking at him, he knew the power he had. The power to drop his friend to his knees. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the burning in his stomach, but it made him feel brave. 

“You know, you really have to stop coming out of the shower half-naked,” Eddie told him, “I can’t fucking stand it.” 

“Is that so?” Richie said. 

“I can’t take looking at you like that and not having you touch me,” Eddie said, “God, I want you to touch me Rich. I wanted it so bad.” 

“Like I told you, Eds,” Richie said, his finger resting under Eddie’s chin, “I’d do anything you want.” 

“Anything?” Eddie asked, like they were the only ones there. 

“Anything,” Richie said, staring at Eddie’s lips. “You wanna get out of here?” 

Eddie looked around. Everyone else was happily engaged in conversation, and Bill and Mike seemed perfectly comfortable with their new friends 

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “They’ll be fine.” 

“Let’s go then,” Richie said, pulling Eddie’s hand and going to the others, “Hey, my dear pals, the lights of my life. Me and Eds are heading out.”

“Are you now?” Stan raised an eyebrow, “Use protection.” 

“Have fun, Rich,” Bev winked, hugging him. 

“And no hug from you, Stanny?” Richie pouted. 

“I can’t stand you,” Stan hugged him, “But be careful. I love you.” 

“I love you all so much that I think it’s going to kill me,” Richie said, “And nice to meet you Ben! If you don’t marry Bev, I just might have to kill you.” 

“I hate you,” Bev said, “You’re embarrassing him.” 

“He adores me,” Richie blew a kiss. 

“Nice to meet you, man,” Ben laughed. 

Eddie hugged Bill and Mike together, squishing them tightly. “You guys okay to be here without me?” 

“Yeah, they’re all super cool,” Bill said, “You’re all set to go and get dicked down. I think I’m gonna have another drink.” 

“I’ll take care of him,” Mike said, “Be careful, Eddie.” 

“I will,” he said, “Love you guys.” 

“Bye Bill and Mike!” Richie jumped up from behind them, “You’re a blessing to this Earth and we will get drunk together again soon.” 

“You are right about that, Richie,” Bill said, “I think I’m not drunk enough. I’m gonna get drunk again.” 

“I love this guy,” Richie told Eddie, and Eddie rolled his eyes and went to give the others hugs before their Uber got there. 

“That was really fun,” Eddie told Richie once they got in the Uber, “I really liked everyone.” 

“Me too,” Richie said, “We could do things as a group more often, you know. I think we all had good chemistry together.” 

“We did,” Eddie said, “But I don’t think Stan likes me. He kept staring at me.” 

“That’s probably because he knows I want to fuck you and wants to pass his Stanley approval and decide you’re good for the job,” Richie said. 

The Uber driver looked at them through the front mirror, his eyes widened, and Eddie felt like sinking into his seat. “Good to know.” 

“I’m really happy you’re my roommate,” Richie said, resting his hand on Eddie’s thigh. “Things haven’t been the easiest for me this year, between you and me, and you gave me hope again.” 

“Gave you hope?” Eddie asked. 

“Hope that it’s gonna be a good life,” Richie said. 

Eddie smiled, resting his hand on top of Richie’s, and trying not to explode at Richie rubbing his thumb against the inside of Eddie’s thigh. 

His hand rested there for the rest of the ride, his fingers caressing further and further on his thigh, and Eddie was swiping his thumb over Richie’s hand.

If he were a little drunker, he would have started making out right here in this Uber. But he wasn’t. 

They got out of the Uber and made their way to the dorms, not saying a word, but not letting go of each other’s hands. With shaky hands, Richie reached for the keys. 

“Are you nervous?” Eddie asked. 

“No,” Richie said, “...Yes.” 

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do,” Eddie said, as they walked inside. 

“I just really like you,” he said, throwing their stuff to the side, turning to face him, pulling a little at his own sleeve. “I don’t want to mess it up.” 

“Do you want me?” Eddie asked. 

“Fuck, yes I do.” 

“Then c’mon. Mess me up.” 

Richie’s fear was shaken off from looking at Eddie, looking at the sparks in his eyes and the smirk on his lips, and he wasn’t nervous anymore. He just wanted Eddie. 

Richie pushed forward and backed Eddie against the wall, his hands on both sides of his hips, his thumbs digging into the skin under his sweater. Eddie almost moaned just at the feeling of being pressed against the wall, so he threw his arms around Richie’s neck and kissed him. 

Richie kissed him back, and it wasn’t soft like the way they had started out last time. They were making out and making out hard, Richie’s body pushing more and more against Eddie. 

Eddie had moved his hands up to Richie’s hair, and  _ god  _ was he dying to run his fingers through it, to pull it; so he did. The first pull, Richie hummed into his mouth. 

“You like that?” Eddie said, pulling a little away. 

“Mhm,” Richie said, “God, I love it Eds.” 

Eddie kept playing with his hair as Richie bit into his neck, and Richie moved away to pull off Eddie’s sweater, throwing it to the side. 

“You’re so hot, Eds,” Richie said, admiring his body. He threw his own shirt off and returned to pushing against Eddie, grinding his dick against his through their jeans. 

“Mhm, touch me, Rich,” Eddie pleaded, “Touch me.” 

“Where?” Richie asked. 

“You know where,” Eddie whined, “Please.” 

Richie unbuttoned Eddie’s jeans and sank them to the floor, getting down to his knees, and Eddie was going to burst. 

“This okay?” Richie asked, pulling down Eddie’s briefs. 

“Please, Richie,” Eddie said, and Richie sucked a mark into Eddie’s thigh.

Eddie placed his fingers in Richie’s hair and pulled a little, and at that Richie took his dick into his mouth, just a little bit at first. After a few minutes, he got the hang of it a little more, and began to move, using his hands on the spots he couldn’t reach. 

Eddie threw his head against the wall and closed his eyes, focusing on the fact that a few days ago, he was fucking his hand with his back against the wall, thinking about fucking Richie’s mouth. And now, he was pulling onto the long curls of Richie’s hair, and he could look down to see his eyes closed shut as he bobbed his head against his dick, his lips big and pink and all stretched out, and it wasn’t a fantasy. This was his life. 

Eddie had become a mess, now holding onto Richie’s hair to keep himself standing up straight, and he tugged his hair so that Richie could look up at him. “Richie?” 

“What is it, baby?”

_ God.  _

“B-Bed. I want you.” 

“You want me?’ Richie asked, still jerking him off. 

“I-I need you,” Eddie said, “A-Ah  _ please _ .”

Richie moved his hand and kissed the inside of his thigh before he stood up, throwing his own pants off and picking Eddie up, carrying him to his bed and throwing him onto the mattress. They both kicked off their shoes and he fixed himself on top of him, grabbing the bag from the side of the bed. 

“You sure this is what you want?” Richie asked.

“Richie, I swear to god if you don’t fuck me right now-” 

“Okay, okay,” Richie laughed. “Anything you want. Anything in the world.” 

Richie opened the bottle of lube and put some on his fingers, using his other hand to spread his legs more. He moved one finger and lightly pushed it against his rim, and Eddie choked a breath back. 

Slowly, he pushed the finger in, and Richie was surely worried that he wasn’t going to last long because just the fact that he had  _ one finger  _ inside of a very pretty boy was making his dick leak. 

“You can move it,” Eddie said, and Richie hadn’t even realized he had been just sitting there, freaking out about the fact that this was even happening. 

He pushed his finger in and out, and Eddie was pushing it into it, and with every subtle movement Eddie made he went faster, and he was just about to melt at how warm and tight he was, and  _ oh my god my dick’s gonna be in there.  _

“M-more,” Eddie said, and Richie stuck in his second finger, quickly pacing it with the first. He crooked his fingers up, and Eddie let out a high pitched yelp. 

“Fuck!” Eddie slammed his head into the pillow, “Fuck, baby, right there.” 

“Do I make you feel good?” Richie asked, in a moment of insecurity, even though Eddie was a moaning mess from two fingers inside of him. 

“You make me feel so good Rich,” Eddie smiled at him, cupping his cheek, “God, you’re so good.” 

Richie’s eyes lit up, and this has never happened to him before and this was the last thing he would have expected when he signed up to dorm again and this just might be the best moment of his life. 

He kept stroking up on Eddie’s prostate, and Eddie was falling apart, and by the time he added a third finger he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Fuck me, Rich,” Eddie moaned, “I need you inside me, please, fuck me.” 

“Okay,” Richie said, and just from watching him tear Eddie apart, he was panting too. “Okay.” 

He pulled his fingers out and Eddie winced from the emptiness, so Richie kissed his knee a little too tenderly as he grabbed the condoms. 

“Could you put it on me?” Richie asked, but he didn’t tell him that it was because he was scared he’d put it on wrong. 

“Here,” Eddie leaned forward, grabbing one and ripping open the package. Richie winced a little the second he touched his dick, rolling the condom on and then putting on the lube, because he was still in a little disbelief that this was actually happening but this was a very sharp reminder that it was. 

Eddie laid back down, and Richie leaned over him, stopping as the tip of his dick aligned with Eddie. 

He looked at him, studying his pretty brown eyes and the freckles on his nose, and he was so beautiful. He was so beautiful, and his arms were wrapped around his neck, and oh god, he was pushing into him. 

Eddie tensed up, his eyes scrunching, and Richie froze.

“Are you okay?” Richie said, “Am I hurting you? Should I pull out?”

“No, no, you’re okay,” Eddie said, “I just haven’t had anything up there besides my own fingers for quite a while. And I’ve got to say you’re bigger than my ex boyfriend.” 

“I’ve got to put that on my resume,” Richie said, slowly pushing further, “You finger yourself a lot?”

“Mhm,” Eddie said, “Especially now that I could imagine they’re yours.” 

“You’re like a fucking wet dream,” Richie said, “I can’t believe you’re real.” 

Eddie moved his hand to Richie’s cheek, and Richie kissed it. He hoped he wasn’t being too sensual, and that friends with benefits could do anything besides raw fucking. But Eddie didn’t seem to mind, and it felt right. 

Richie bottomed out, and he didn’t realize how heavy he was breathing and how fast his chest was moving, but it was because he had never felt like this before, had never ever felt this good both for his dick and for himself because he could finally say he had sex before and even if it wasn’t with someone who was in love with him, it was with someone he trusted. 

“You can move,” Eddie said, after a few minutes, “I want you to move.” 

Richie started to pull back, and he hoped he wasn’t being too obvious, but he pushed forward and Eddie yelped. Suddenly, all his other thoughts didn’t matter. 

He started to set a rhythm, thrusting in and out as Eddie let out his  _ ah ah ahs  _ and it was so fucking hot that he couldn’t help but go faster, and faster, and faster- 

And suddenly, he was ramming Eddie into the bed, and Eddie was almost sobbing, his nails dug sharply into Richie’s back. 

“Fuck, Eds,” Richie cried, “I’m not going to last much longer.”

“Mess me up, Rich,” Eddie said, “Mess me up.” 

Richie used all of his remaining strength to fuck him as hard as he could, and between the feeling of it and the nails on his back pushing in deeper and Eddie’s cute little noises that were definetly waking the neighbors, he broke. 

He came into the condom, still thrusting sloppily, and Eddie came after him, his cum sticking to Richie’s stomach. Richie laid down on top of him, both of them trying to catch their breath, still inside of him. 

Once he felt in touch with reality again he pulled out, Eddie whimpering at the feeling of emptiness, and he tossed the condom into the trash before collapsing beside him. 

“Do you want to take a shower?” Eddie asked, “There’s cum all over us and it’s disgusting.” 

“A shower together?” Richie asked. 

“Well, yeah. It’s not like I haven’t seen your dick before.” 

Richie laughed, “Okay Eds. Need me to carry you?” 

“Yes, actually. My legs feel like jelly,” Eddie sighed. 

“I’ve got you, princess,” Richie winked, standing and picking Eddie up. 

“Don’t call me that again,” Eddie laughed, “It’s even worse than Eds.” 

“Sorry, Eds,” he said, and they went to the shower. 

Eddie was standing under the water, watching Richie wash his hair, and he thought about where he was earlier this week. Richie was in the shower with him now, but it was different than his fantasy. They had already done the fucking, and now it was almost soft. Whenever he had been with Jacob, who was his actual  _ boyfriend,  _ he was tossed to the side. Like a quick fuck who had turned into an after thought. But now he was with Richie, his new friend that he wasn’t even dating, and standing in the shower with him is the most intimate he’d ever felt. 

“That was really good,” Eddie said, “You’re better than my ex.” 

Richie laughed. “Can I be honest with you about something?” 

“What is it?” Eddie asked. 

“That was my first time.” 

“What?!” Eddie exclaimed, “You were a virgin?!” 

“Yeah,” Richie sighed, “I didn’t want to tell you because I was embarrassed. Actually, you were even my first kiss.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Rich,” Eddie said, “I just took your virginity like it was nothing? Isn’t your first time supposed to be special, or whatever?” 

“It was special, Eds,” he said, “It was.” 

“I feel bad now,” Eddie said, “Like I corrupted you.” 

“That is where you are wrong,” Richie said, “I’ve wanted my dick wet since I knew I had one. It’s just that, well, no one has ever liked me like that.” 

“I think you’re gorgeous,” Eddie said, “I did not think it was possible for someone like you to be a virgin. You’re so cool and adventurous, and... I mean, look at you.” 

It was Richie’s turn to blush. “Well, I’m not a virgin anymore, so.” 

“Yeah, I was there,” Eddie laughed, “How was it? Would you try it again?” 

“I figured we’d be fucking on the regular now,” Richie said, “Or, at least I hope we are, because I bought a shit load of condoms.” 

“Good. Because we are,” Eddie said, turning the water off. 

“You know, I’m so happy to have met you, Rich,” Eddie said, “Thank you for being such a good friend to me.” He kissed him on the lips and walked out of the shower, and Richie stood there for a minute, holding his fingertip to his lip where Eddie had kissed him. 

_ Thank you for being such a good friend.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am now @stonertozier on twitter!!


	4. four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very sorry for the delay i had writer's block, i'm hoping that the next set of updates will come a lot faster! sorry!  
> also, this chapter is kind of ass but here you go!

“Table for two?” 

“You bet!” Bev winked, and the hostess gave her a warm smile as she paved the way to the window side table. Stan yawned as he followed her, pushing a curl of his hair behind his ear and wondering why the hell Bev wanted to have breakfast instead of dinner. 

“Oh, c’mon, Stan,” she said, as if she was reading his mind, “It’s already eleven.” 

“And Sunday. And the morning after I was drinking until one am. You are so lucky I’m actually extremely intrigued in having this conversation, Miss Marsh,” he said. 

“Intriguing it is, indeed,” she winked, and the waitress arrived. “Hi! Can we get two hot chocolates?”

“Coming right up,” the waitress said, disappearing. 

“We aren’t discussing anything without hot chocolate first,” Bev told him, “The best tea is spilled over hot chocolate.” 

“Or, over actual tea,” Stan said, “I could go for green tea right now.” 

“Too bad,” she said, “It’s not a green tea day. It’s a hot chocolate day.” 

“Okay, next time we go out to gossip about our third friend we’re going for dinner and having green tea. No more of your hot chocolate, Sunday morning bullshit,” he said. 

“Green tea for dinner?” she asked. 

“Green tea is good at any time,” Stan said, “And would have been really good right now, by the way.”

“You will just have to make due for today, Stanley,” she teased him as the waitress brought the hot chocolates.

“Anything else I can get you two this morning?” the waitress asked. 

“Waffles, please,” Stan asked. 

“And pancakes for me,” Bev added. 

“Why would you get pancakes when waffles are on the menu?” Stan asked. 

“Because they’re better! They’re fluffy. Who doesn’t like fluffy?” Bev replied. 

“I’ll go on and get that in for you,” the waitress said, not wanting to wait any longer, walking away. 

“Okay, all pancake discourse aside,” Bev said, “I need your sober thoughts on Eddie.” 

“I’m interested,” Stan said, taking a sip. “He looked so innocent, but he also had that spark in his eye that tells me he isn’t.” 

“Isn’t in what way?” Bev asked. 

“He’s a cutie, but I could tell he’d be down to get into some mischief. Mischief he hadn’t been able to get in his whole life, until now,” Stan said. 

“Until Richie,” Bev smiled, “God, meeting Richie probably changed that kid’s life.” 

“Richie has that impact on people,” Stan laughed, “But I agree. Especially for Eddie. I barely know him, but he looks like he needs someone like Richie.” 

“He’s nice,” Bev said, “And, oh, his friends! They are super nice, like, too good for people like us nice.” 

“We’d make a good group,” Stan said, “Their kindness can balance out your’s and Richie’s sins.” 

“Our sins?” Bev held her hand to her heart, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, Stanley. You’re secretly the most sinful of all.” 

“Maybe so,” he said, “But Eddie’s got a little sinner in him too. He’s sweet, but he’s got a bite to him.” 

“A teddy bear with fangs,” Bev marveled, “Now I get it.” 

“So here’s Eddie, trying to have fun for once in his life, and someone like Richie comes along. Richie, who could not be more perfect for the job. He’s obviously going to have some sort of attraction to him,” Stan said. 

“But Richie…” Bev started. 

“Exactly,” Stan said, “Richie has never had a relationship like this, and he may look like a guy who could show you a good time, but he’s a big baby. He’s sensitive and I don’t know if he could handle the kind of relationship he’s walking into. I mean, what if Eddie fucked someone else, since they’re not dating? It would crush him.” 

“I don’t know if Eddie would do that,” Bev said, “I saw him yesterday. Of course he takes an interest in Richie because he’s some kind of new college adventure, but I think he sees more than that.” 

“We don’t know what he’s capable of,” Stan said, “But I think he would be good for Richie. They have good chemistry, and from what I’ve seen of Eddie, his energy compliments Richie’s. But I don’t know, Bev. I’m scared.” 

“I know what you mean,” she sighed, “Richie just looked so happy yesterday, and I haven’t seen him like that in a long time, Stan. He already makes him so happy.” 

“That’s what I’m saying,” Stan said, “They aren’t dating, and Richie is already getting too emotionally invested. Anything could snap him, and I don’t want him to fall back down again if something happens with this after the progress he’s made. Fuck, it hasn’t even been that long since it happened, he just got out of the hospital like two months ago. I don’t know if he’s ready to feel all this for someone who isn’t even dating him.” 

“I know you’re scared,” Bev said, “But I’m not looking at it that way. Maybe I’m being an optimist, but I think he’s going to be really good for Richie. A person can’t heal you, but they can hold your hand along the way. Richie has us, obviously, but Eddie can give him a different connection, like you have with Patty.” 

“But Patty and I are dating,” Stan said, “They’re not.” 

“Well, we’re just going to have to get them to change that,” Bev smirked. 

“How?” Stan asked, “Eddie doesn’t want to date.” 

“Well…” Bev said, “I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t want to, he’s probably just scared. Especially if he used to be in a bad relationship. We just need to get him to realize his feelings for Richie, especially as they get closer and it develops more!” 

“So you and I are single handedly going to get this kid to figure out he’s in love with Richie and get him to date him?” Stan asked. 

“Over time, of course,” Bev said, “Oh, wait! His friends too!”

“You want his friends to date Richie too?” Stan’s eyes widened. 

“No, silly!” she said, “I mean we know his friends now. Especially you, you guys were talking all night! And they know Eddie a lot better than we do. So we talk to them more and get to know more about him, and maybe they’ll be in on this too.” 

“Um, what would probably happen is that they think we’re fucking weird, snitch to Eddie, and Richie gets embarrassed,” Stan said. 

“No, we aren’t going to straight call them up asking this,” Bev rolled her eyes, “We’re just gonna get to know everyone more. Be slick about it. The more time you spend with Bill and Mike, the more we get in on things and the more we figure out about Eddie.” 

“I don’t know, it feels kind of shady,” Stan sighed. 

“We aren’t being snakes, I promise,” she said, “We’re just trying to help our friend. Richie really deserves a chance at happiness, after everything he’s been through this year.” 

“I know,” Stan replied. 

“We’d be helping Eddie too!” Bev added, “He needs love too. We just met him, yeah, but he deserves a good guy like Richie. He just needs a little guidance, is all.” 

“I guess,” Stan said, “And how exactly is this plan going to work?” 

“I have an idea,” she said, “I’ve got to hang out with Eddie alone and see what I can get out of him, smoothly.” 

“You think you’re going to get Eddie alone without Richie wanting to come?” Stan asked. 

“I’ll do it when he has afternoon class, I’ll make up some excuse why it has to be that day,” she said, “It can also mean I’ll get closer to Eddie and know him more.” 

“And what do you want me to do?” 

“You get closer to Bill and Mike, and keep talking to Richie for updates on how things are going. Sound good?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Stan said. 

“You seem uncertain,” Bev said. 

“I just want to make sure we’re not acting like snakes,” Stan said. 

“Of course not! We’re trying to help our friend, friends actually, out,” she said, “And we’ll all get closer too, and be one big group! It’ll be great.” 

“Alright, Bev,” Stan said, “We’ll do it. He just better not get hurt.” 

“He won’t, Stan,” Bev said, “We’ll make sure of it.” 

“Bon appetit!” the waitress returned, with a plate of fluffy pancakes in hand. 

At that same moment, Richie and Eddie were going to eat pancakes too. But not exactly as fluffy. 

Richie danced around the small kitchen in their dorm as he poured the pancake mix onto the pan, wearing just blue flannel pajama pants and his favorite alligator socks. Eddie was still asleep, curled up into his blanket, and Richie turned to gaze at him every once in a while before returning to his cooking. He lightly hummed his favorite song, trying to be careful not to wake him, because no matter how much he wanted Eddie to dance with him, to hear his laugh and make him smile, he never ever wanted to disturb him. 

He hadn’t made his own pancakes in quite a while. The last time was probably for Bev’s birthday breakfast and hangover cure last year, and in only a few months it was going to be Bev’s birthday again. Richie only made his own pancakes when it was time to celebrate. When he celebrated his first day of summer after graduating high school, or Bev’s 19th birthday, or losing his virginity. Or, maybe it was more than that. Maybe he was celebrating finding someone who made him feel the closest he ever has to full. 

He wanted to stop thinking that way. He didn’t want to have romantic feelings for Eddie. Their relationship was supposed to be strictly platonic and sexual. He could never deny that he had a crush, because that was a fact established the second he laid eyes on him. But he couldn’t let himself fall deeper. 

It wasn’t safe. 

But it was so tempting. Looking at Eddie, holding his hand, kissing him, touching him - all of it made him feel like maybe life had its perks after all. Sure, life had other perks, like sleepovers with his best friends and crashing parties and smoking at 3am, but this perk was different. Being with Eddie gave him an idea of what it felt like to be alive. 

He couldn’t tell Eddie he wanted something more, because he knew that would be selfish. Eddie was looking for a guide to living, and Richie was serving for what he needed him to be. Eddie looked at Richie, who he could touch without commitment and showed him what it meant to have fun, and he felt alive. Richie looked at Eddie, who made his stomach warm and felt so very soft and had the cutest smile in the world, and he felt alive. 

It worked for both of them, staying the way things were. 

So, even though his crush on Eddie was a little different than Eddie’s crush on Richie, and even though Richie had secret fantasies about taking his friend on a date, he knew he couldn’t do anything about it now. 

Now, it was time to make pancakes. 

Eddie stirred a bit, snuggling his face further into the blanket as he woke. There was still a trace of summer outside that made the room warm, but Richie must have turned the fan on, because a breeze was against his cheek and it made him want to tuck in closer. 

“Are you...cooking?” Eddie said, letting his eyes flutter open. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Richie said, a little too excitedly. “You ready for pancakes?” 

“Are you a pancake addict or something?” Eddie asked, “We just had them at McDonald’s yesterday.” 

“Well, you see, those were pregame pancakes. McDonald’s pancakes serve for breakfast the day of parties. Richie Tozier pancakes serve for when there is need for celebration,” Richie said. 

“And what are we celebrating today?” 

“Us,” Richie said, and then, awkwardly, “I mean, uh, what we’re doing. Stan can’t make fun of me for being a loser virgin anymore. And, between you and me, I’ve got bragging rights. The guy I did it with was super hot.” 

“Shut up,” Eddie rolled his eyes, but he smiled, “How long until it’s ready?” 

“I’m actually just finishing up,” Richie said, “Now that you’re up, do you mind if I put on some music?” 

“Sure,” Eddie said, stretching his arms and sitting out of bed, “I need some coffee.” 

“Say no more,” Richie said, pushing a mug across the small table. “Four creams, four sugars, right?” 

“You remembered that?” Eddie asked. 

“Of course I did,” Richie said, “That’s what you ordered at McDonald’s. Collecting Eddie facts is one of my favorite things to do.” 

Eddie blushed, a shy smile on his face as he walked over, and just before Richie began to worry about going too far, Eddie wrapped his arms around his side. 

“Thanks, Rich,” Eddie said, “You’re a better person to me than Jacob ever was.” 

“You know,” Richie said, serving the pancakes, “I think you should give me that guy’s address so I could beat him up.” 

“You? Beat him up?” Eddie giggled, letting go of Richie to get his coffee, “You weigh like 100 pounds.” 

“Nonsense!” Richie said, “I could clock the fuck out of that guy. You’ve got to let me do that.” 

“Maybe one day,” Eddie said, settling onto the chair, “If we ever get too bored.” 

“I look forward to it,” Richie winked, bringing out the pancake plates. “I haven’t made these in almost a year, so if they taste like shit you can tell me.” 

Eddie took a forkful into his mouth. “Hmm, they’re pretty good Rich. Better than McDonald’s.” 

“You’re lying,” Richie said, stepping up to find his music player. 

“I promise you, Richie, that when you make something that tastes like absolute garbage, I will tell you,” Eddie said, “Which will probably never happen, by the way, because nothing tastes like garbage once you’ve had Bill’s cooking.” 

“Remind me to give him pancake lessons,” Richie said, “I am glad to help.” 

“He is beyond reach, I’ll tell you that,” Eddie laughed, “But you could give me pancake lessons.” 

“Smoking lessons, shot-taking lessons, and pancake lessons now?” Richie laughed, “What else you want to learn from me, Eds?” 

“We’ll find out as we go,” Eddie said. 

“Okay, I’ll teach you One Direction,” he said, “Have you heard the Take Me Home album?” 

“No, and I think I can go the rest of my life without doing so,” Eddie laughed. 

“I don’t think so,” Richie said, “One Direction is coming on and coming on now.”

“If you insist,” Eddie said, and Richie put the album on and came back to the table. 

“What are we doing today, Eds?” Richie asked. 

“I have an exam tomorrow and was wondering if you’d help me study,” Eddie said, “And then we could smoke after, if you want. Maybe watch a horror movie.” 

“Gorgeous, I love it,” Richie said, “Scream 2?” 

“Scream 2,” Eddie confirmed. 

They ate the pancakes as the comfortable silence returned, the kind of silence that made them feel safe. Made them feel whole. 

“Hey, what’s this one?” Eddie asked, “This song.” 

“Oh, you into Rock Me of all songs? Kinky,” Richie winked. 

“No, I’m not into it!” Eddie said, “I just wanted to know what it was.” 

“You’re totally into it,” Richie said, “Dance with me, yeah?” 

“Okay,” Eddie said, because he liked drinking, smoking, and casual sex, but he might like dancing with Richie even more. 

Not that he’d ever tell anyone that. 

So he danced, and Eddie swore to god he despised this fucking song (Kiss You, was it called?) but Richie knew all of the words and was twirling him around, and he was happy. Dancing to goddamn One Direction on Sunday morning with Richie in their pajamas made him so unbelievably happy. 

He loved Bill and Mike, his best friends, his brothers even. But Richie was a very special friend. Richie was a friend that made him feel things he hadn’t felt before. Richie was a friend he wanted to dance with forever. 

Of course, that had to be all it was, right? He felt like this with Richie because he was a very special friend, the best friend he was always meant to have. That must be all it was. 

They danced for a while, and then Eddie sat to check his phone. 

“Uh, Rich?” Eddie called for him, “Look at this.” 

“What’s up?” Richie asked, sitting beside him. 

“Bev DMed me on Instagram,” he said. 

“What?” Richie asked, leaning over his shoulder so they could read the text together. 

**Bevviebaby:** _ Hey Eddie! Sorry if this is super random, but there’s a sale at Forever 21 at the mall Tuesday and I really want to go, but I don’t wanna go alone. Richie, Stan and Patty all have class that day. Do you think you would wanna, maybe, come with me?  _

“What do I say?” Eddie asked. 

“Bev is trying to snake you away, I see how it is,” Richie teased. 

“So you don’t want me to go?” Eddie asked, “I’ll tell her I can’t.” 

“No! I mean - no. I think it’d be cool if you went, you guys could bond or whatever,” Richie said. 

“Okay,” Eddie said, “I’ll tell her-” 

“Wait,” Richie interrupted, “Do you want to go?” 

“Well, do you want me to go?” Eddie asked. 

“It doesn’t matter whether or not I want you to go,” Richie said, “It matters whether or not you want to go with her.” 

“Oh,” Eddie said, sinking in embarrassment. “I’m sorry.” 

“Wait, no, why are you apologizing?” Richie asked, putting a hand on Eddie’s back. Eddie winced a little at the sudden touch, but then hesitantly leaned into him. 

“It’s just a habit, I guess,” Eddie sighed, “When I was with Jacob, it was up to him where I was going. But I know you’re not him and you’re not even my boyfriend, I shouldn’t put you in that position. I’m sorry.”

“I’m telling you, next time we’re bored I’m gonna go beat the fuck out of that guy,” Richie said, “But listen to me, Eds. You don’t let anyone tell you what to do. Not anyone. It’s up to you and only you if you wanna go hang out with Bev.” 

“I don’t know,” Eddie said, “I mean, what if she doesn’t like me very much? I’m a little awkward on my own, and I don’t know if I’ll, um, fit in. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” 

“Eddie,” Richie said, cupping his face and turning him, “I think it is an impossible thing for someone to dislike you. Disliking me, possible maybe. I’m kind of a scumbag. But you? You’re everything good in the world. You’re that quick flash of sunlight on a cloudy day, and I mean that. I mean that.” 

Eddie was quiet for a moment, resting his cheek into Richie’s palm. “Why are you so nice to me?” 

“Because…” Richie said, “It’s been less than a month, yes, but it’s hard for me to remember what it felt like when you weren’t my roommate. When you weren’t my friend. You make me so happy, Eds. And whatever you want our relationship to be, I’ll be down for it.” 

“I like our relationship now,” Eddie said, “You make me so happy too.” 

“Then I’m down with it,” Richie said, “I’m always down for you. No matter what. Never forget that, okay?” 

“Okay,” Eddie said, and he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to kiss him because it was fun and he cared for him, he knew that. But this wasn’t a sexual moment. He wasn’t supposed to kiss Richie when it wasn’t for sexual purposes. Kissing him right now might be dangerous. 

So he sat up off of him instead. 

“I’ll go,” Eddie said, “I’ll go with her.” 

“You’ll have fun,” Richie smiled, “Bev’s the best girl ever.”

Eddie smiled, unlocking his phone again. 

**Eddiekaspbrak:** _ I’m down! What time?  _

Bev opened the message nearly immediately. 

**Bevviebaby:** _ Is 3pm okay? I can pick you up.  _

**Eddiekaspbrak:** _ Yes, sounds good. See you then.  _

“She didn’t even tell me first,” Richie said, “How weird.” 

“You really think I’ll do okay?” Eddie asked, “She’ll like me?” 

“You’ll have so much fun, Eds,” Richie answered, “She’ll love you.” He kissed him on the cheek. 

Both of them blushed after that, and Richie cursed himself for doing it. 

It wasn’t sexual. It was dangerous. 

So Richie did the only thing he could do. 

“You wanna listen to One Direction’s next album Midnight Memories?” 

In the next few days, Richie and Eddie grew to be what you could call inseparable. They spent the entirety of their days together, sharing their meals and their weed and late night make-out sessions, even, but there was more to it. There was sharing headphones while they both did their homework, and joining each other on calls with their friends, and there was living together. They weren’t staying together. They were living together. Sharing their lives, if you will. 

Eddie saw his roommate, and he was so good looking and knew how to touch him in all the right places, but he saw who had so quickly become his best friend. He felt like he knew him for years and years when they fell asleep together on the couch in the afternoons, and he felt like they had just met when he started trying the bong and edibles instead of just joints. Richie was new and fresh and the deepest sense of comfortable he had ever felt all at once. His crooked smile stayed in the corner of his mind while he sat in class, and he daydreamed about hearing his laugh and seeing him dance and running his fingers through his hair, and this was only for the reason that Richie was the most special friend he had ever had. 

Soon enough it was Tuesday, and Richie had already left for class. Eddie was standing in the mirror, making sure no strand of hair was standing out of place as he waited for Bev to get here. He was nervous, and not having Richie here to give him his confidence was making things difficult. But he was wearing the yellow shirt he had worn the day he met Richie, the day his new life began, and he tried to remember the way he felt that day. When he was walking down the hall into this dorm, with the feeling that he could take on the world and more. 

He smiled, giving himself a nod. He was not afraid at all. 

He saw the text that Bev was here, and gave himself one last look before heading for the door. 

“Wait,” he said to himself, rushing towards his drawer. He had some spare cash in there - cash for any random reason that may pop up. 

He threw the money in his bag and left. 

“Hey!” he heard Bev’s voice once he got there, and saw her hand waving out of her window. He waved at her, rushing up and jumping in the seat. 

“Hi,” he said, and she was leaning over to hug him. 

“Hey, Eddie!” she smiled, “How are you?” 

“Pretty good,” he said, “And you?” 

“Feeling positively perfect,” she said, “Thank you so much for going with me. I know it was kind of random and last minute.” 

“No problem,” he said, “I, uh, actually need new clothes.” 

“Ooh, really?” she started to drive, “What kind of clothes you looking for?” 

“Kind of like this shirt,” he said, “It’s the only good shirt I have.” 

“So like a yellow aesthetic?” she asked. 

“Yeah, maybe,” he said, “I like yellow and red.” 

“I’m a fashion major, you know, so if you’re looking for a make-over you’ve come to the right place,” she winked. 

“Richie mentioned that to me,” Eddie said, “That’s super cool, though. Like, super cool. You look like a fashion major.” 

“Well, thank you!” she said, “Maybe you can be a fashion major with me.” 

“Yeah, with all the gray t-shirts that contaminate my closet,” he laughed, “How about this? You can dress me, and if you have any car troubles, I’m your guy.” 

“You a mechanic?” she asked. 

“I just think cars are pretty neat,” he said, “It’s a hobby I picked up. I’m not sure what I want to study for in college yet.” 

“That’s dope, Eddie,” she said, “And you take your time. Life decisions like can be pretty intimidating, I know. It’s just important that all the choices we make are based on what could serve our personal pursuits of happiness.” 

“Pursuit of happiness, huh?” he asked. 

“Pursuit of happiness,” she smiled, “I’m trying to find mine, by picking a major that makes me happy and surrounding myself with people who support me with my growth. How about you?” 

“Well, I don’t know,” he replied, “I’m still trying to figure out what life even is, really. I haven’t gotten around to the happiness part yet.” 

“Want my advice?” she said, “The first step to happiness is making peace with your environment. Surround yourself with people who are good for you. Don’t let any of your insecurities push those people away. Letting people in is scary, but when you find that person that completes you? It’s worth it.” 

Eddie nodded, tapping his fingers against his thigh. Things were getting pretty deep pretty fast, and it was kind of scaring him. “Hey, Bev? You got any weed?” 

“Richie raised a litle stoner, did he now?” Bev laughed, “Sure thing, babe. You can pull my pen out of my purse. 

“Thank you,” Eddie answered, “I didn’t know what I was missing all my life.” 

“Me and Richie started sophomore year of high school, and Stan joined us like a year later,” she said, “I am glad that we have reached you with our stoner ways.” 

“You guys all been friends a long time?” Eddie asked, pulling out the pen. 

“Since seventh grade,” she smiled, “We’ve been through a lot together, Stan, Richie and I. You and your friends must have too.” 

“Yeah, we have,” Eddie said, “I’ve known Bill pretty much my whole life, and we met Mike in high school. I had them, and uh, my ex, and that’s all I’ve had.” 

“Well Eddie, you are in luck,” she ruffled his hair, “Because you got assigned to dorm with Richie Tozier and now you’re stuck with the rest of us too.” 

“Really?” he asked, trying not to smile too big. 

“Yeah!” she said, “Richie adores you, so the rest of us do too. We’re all really happy to have you, Eddie.” 

He took a hit of the pen that was a bit too big, and ended up dropping it to the floor in a coughing fit. 

“Jesus Christ!” Bev laughed, putting her hand on Eddie’s shoulder and handing him her water bottle. 

“Sorry,” Eddie drank the water once his lungs calmed, “Fucking hell, Bev! That one was strong!”

“I should’ve warned you,” she said, “But I couldn’t. That was way too hilarious.” 

“You’re sick,” Eddie laughed, and after smoking a bit more, he fell into his comfort zone. Bev was easy to talk to, and she was a person who avoided small talk. She’s the type of person to get you in her car and start discussing the pursuit of happiness. Eddie was coming to learn that’s just who she was. 

He loved it. 

“We’re here!” she pulled into the mall, “Our Forever 21 sale awaits.”    
“I haven’t been to the mall in so long,” Eddie said. 

“You’ve come with the right guide,” she parked the car, “I know all the ins and outs of this place.” 

“Really?” he asked. 

“Really!” she said, “Now, pass me the pen before we go in.” 

They smoked a while in the parking lot, and Eddie took a moment to admire the way Bev was. She had glittery eyeshadow and two little hearts drawn in eyeliner by the sides of her eyes, and her hair was the most natural sapphire he had ever seen. Her laugh was full of energy and she had a spark in her eye that displayed a person of true passion, and he admired her. Maybe one day, he’d be as special of a person as Bev and Richie were. 

“Let’s go,” she said, spraying on some peppermint perfume and getting out of the car. 

Once Eddie got out, she ran over and linked their arms, guiding him through the parking lot. Bev was naturally a very friendly person, but when she was high it was another story.

“Do you think you would let me practice makeup on you one day, Eddie?” she asked, “I like to do it on Stan and Richie.” 

“Sure,” he answered. “I like your glitter. It’s pretty.” 

“Thank you!” she exclaimed, “I just got this glitter pallete, it’s got all these different shades and I’d like to try them on you. I think everyone looks better with glitter.” 

“I like yellow,” he said, “Yellow is my favorite color.” 

“I have a glitter yellow blend I can do,” she said, “It can match this cute shirt of yours and the ones we’re going to get right now!”

She took his hand and darted into the mall, pulling him into the store. 

“Okay, Eddie,” she said, “We’re gonna walk out of here with a whole new you.” 

After an hour of going through racks of clothing and in and out of the dressing room, Eddie had decided to buy five new outfits. They made him feel good about himself, looking at his reflection in the dressing room mirror, and he felt even better when he would step out to show Bev. She was a good cheerleader; a support. He hadn’t had a friend who was a girl before, and it wasn’t very different from a friend who was a boy, but it also offered him something new. He felt safe with Bev, like he could tell her his darkest secrets and she’d only make him feel braver about it. Richie was right - she was the best girl. 

Then, they were sitting in the food court drinking smoothies, surrounded by new bags of clothes. 

“So,” Bev said, “Can I vent to you about something?” 

“Sure,” Eddie replied. 

“Okay, so,” she started, “I’ve never had a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. I’ve never had a relationship.” 

“Like Richie?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah,” she laughed, “Except, I lost my virginity in some guitar player’s truck. But that’s a story for another day.” 

“Okay,” Eddie laughed back. 

“Anyways, I’ve never dated because dating looked boring and confining. Well, that’s what I always told people. But I was actually just too scared to be that close to someone in that way. The vulnerability of it freaked me out. You get me?” she asked. 

“I get you,” he said, “I don’t want to date because being in a relationship sucked. You don’t need to rush yourself.” 

“That’s the thing,” she said, “I was so sure I didn’t need that in my life, but then I met Ben. He made me feel, I don’t know, different? He makes me feel like I’m on top of the world sometimes.” 

Eddie nodded, because he did know what she meant. He knew so well. “He’s a cool guy. He might be worth the agony of dating.” 

“I think I’m going to hang out with him more, and see how things go,” she said, “Do you have any advice for me?” 

“I would say don’t date. Being in a relationship isn’t all that they say it is,” he said, “But Ben’s a good person. And going back to what you were saying about the pursuit of happiness - if he makes you feel that way, he’s helping you grow, right? If he’s helping you grow, maybe it’s safe to let him in.” 

She nodded. “I agree. You seem to be pretty confident in saying that. Does anyone make you feel that way?” 

He blushed, looking away. “I don’t have romantic feelings for anybody.” 

“But, if you met someone that made you feel in top of the world, someone who helped you grow, would you let them in?” 

“I don’t know,” Eddie said, “It’s okay, because I don’t have romantic feelings for anyone. It’s not something I have to worry about. Hell, I don’t even have to worry about the pursuit of happiness yet, because I’m to busy with the pursuit of ‘who the fuck am I’.”

“Aren’t we all?” she said, “But I’ll tell you, Eddie. We can figure out both of those things at once. Happiness and identity. Love.” 

“Right,” he said, “But this is your vent, not about me. I think maybe, with where you are right now, it wouldn’t hurt to date Ben.” 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she said. “And, Eddie?” 

“Yeah?” 

“If you change your feelings, and you do meet someone that makes you feel like that,” she put her hand on his knee, “It’s always safe to tell me.” 

Eddie nodded. “Thanks, Bev.” 

Meanwhile, Stan had just gotten out of class and was on his way to Richie’s dorm. Richie must have gotten home fifteen minutes ago and Eddie was still out with Bev, so it was a perfect time to visit him.

Bev was a great person to confide in, but she’s also very intense. Stan was a river and Bev was a waterfall, and they both were the biggest comforts in Richie’s life, but talks with Stan hit different. 

“Rich?” he knocked. “Can I come in? Are you clothed?” 

Richie opened the door, a smile on his face. “Stanny! What brings you around these parts on this lovely afternoon?” 

“Just thought I would come and see what you’re up to,” Stan said, walking in and settling on the couch. “I knew Eddie was out with Bev.” 

“Isn’t that weird?” Richie laughed, “I mean, I guess it’s not, because Bev hates going anywhere alone, but-” 

“Richie?” Stan asked. 

“Yes?” Richie sat beside him, “Is everything okay?” 

“I want to know how you’re doing,” Stan said, “You’ve been taking your meds, right?” 

“Yes,” Richie answered, “I see Dr. Collins on Friday morning.” 

“Good,” Stan said, “You’ve been okay? Like, seriously.” 

“Here’s the thing,” Richie said, “I’ve been okay. God, I’ve been a hell of a lot better than just okay. But this thing I’m feeling is pretty damn close to happy, and I don’t know how I feel about that yet. It’s like everyday this summer was going through the motions, and then Eddie came along.” 

“He makes you happy, doesn’t he?” Stan asked. 

“Yes. But he shouldn’t,” Richie looked to the floor. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I like him the way I’m not supposed to.” 

Stan looked to him, and Richie had his gaze locked on the floor, his leg bouncing up and down. He was staring at the floor for a second more before Stan reached his hand out and Richie turned to him. 

“I didn’t know what I believed about love before. I believed in love, because I saw it with my parents, but I didn’t believe it was something that could ever happen to me. But I feel like when I’m with Eddie, every part of me that was empty before feels whole, and that’s a whole lot of empty. Looking at him makes me so happy just at the fact that I’m alive. But he doesn’t want me that way, and everytime he gets out of my bed after we’ve done stuff I want to ask him to stay and sleep with me but I can’t because that would be crossing a line and I’m stuck on that fucking line. I’m stuck on it.” 

“So much has happened this year,” Stan said, “It’s okay to take your time.” 

“Do you think he could feel that way about me, Stan?” Richie asked with glossy eyes, “I know not right now, but do you think?” 

“I think it’s possible,” Stan said, “I just need to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself with this.” 

“I’m okay,” Richie said, “I promise you that I’m okay and I’ll tell you if I start getting bad again. I promise.” 

“Okay, Rich,” Stan put his head on his friend’s shoulder, “Eddie will come around. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” 

“You really think so?” Richie asked. 

Stan paused for a second. “I do.” 

“Thanks, Stan,” he said, “You wanna play some Mario Kart?” 

“Hell yeah,” Stan said. 

Stan looked at his phone when Richie turned away, checking for texts from Bev. 

**Bev:** _ I think I gave Eddie some inspiration. He didn’t say a lot, but I’m onto him. He definitely has feelings.  _

Stan sighed, scooting into the corner of the couch so Richie wouldn’t see. 

**Stan:** _ Cool. I’m with Richie now. Definitely has feelings.  _

**Bev:** _ We’ll have another group thing this week. Today was a win, but that’d be even better.  _

Stan pushed back into the couch cushion, taking a second to look at Richie. He looked so happy, but the topic of Eddie brought him to near tears. 

He hoped he and Bev weren’t fucking up. 

**Stan:** _ Cool.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all had a good 4/20!


	5. five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATE basically i was writing another oneshot and wanted to finish it up but it is finished and it is posted if you want to check it out im very proud of it (it is reddie but its much different than this one it's a tear jerker) but now that it's done and this is the last week of the semester this story has my full attention! i will now being updating often as long as my adhd permits!   
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTION OF PAST SELF HARM/SUICIDE ATTEMPT

“Hey, you fucking asshole! You’re using up all the red!” 

Richie laughed, his face scrunched in concentration as he swiped his finger against the poster board, finishing off an X for the eye of his smiley face. 

Eddie groaned and settled for the blue paint, making stars in the corner. 

“You should’ve bought more red paint, then,” Richie said, “Didn’t you know? It’s a classic hit!”

“I thought blue and purple were your thing, and red and yellow were mine!” Eddie laughed, “You don’t get the whole ass color wheel. Stick to your cool colors, greedy ass.” 

“X’ed eyed smiley faces wouldn’t look their best in cool colors. Sorry Eds, you’re going to have to share the whole ass color wheel with me.” 

“I guess,” Eddie teased, tapping his finger into the yellow paint and adding finishing touches to the sun. “My side’s pretty much done. And you?” 

“Indeed I am!” Richie smiled, “Low and behold, our finger-painted home decor is complete.” 

Richie’s side of the poster was covered in symbols like X’s, smiley faces, and little bombs, while Eddie painted something like a garden. It was perfectly theirs.

“Don’t even comment on why there are stars and sun on the same side,” Eddie said, “There was extra space and I like stars, so.” 

“No judgement here,” Richie said, “There are no rules of the universe in art. If you want there to be stars in daytime, there’s gonna be fucking stars in daytime.” 

“If you could even consider this art,” Eddie laughed, marveling at their semi-messy semi-fucking cool painting, and imagining it hanging over his nearly blank side of the wall.

“Of course it is! You’re quite the artist, if I don’t say so myself,” Richie smiled. 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “We’re covered in paint. Shower?” 

“Sounds good with me,” Richie said, “Let’s go!” 

Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist and lifted him up, Eddie kicking in protest. 

“Hey! Your hands are covered in paint!” Eddie exclaimed. 

“And? You’re not wearing a shirt and you’re going to shower anyway! I don’t see a problem here,” Richie laughed, placing Eddie down once they got to the bathroom. 

Eddie laughed and wasted no time as he reached to turn on the shower, both of them kicking off their pants and getting inside. 

This was quite often how their days ended up. They spent it doing some random activity, like finger painting, or on other days, play-doh, baking or trying to make some kind of fort out of blankets, and it would be followed by getting into bed. It was such a common occurrence now that they were just waiting for the day the neighbor would knock and complain, and they would have to tell their parents they were kicked out of the dorms for constantly fucking their roommate, but that day hadn’t come yet so there were no concerns to be had. 

There were only three lines they didn’t cross. 

They didn’t wash each other in the shower. They didn’t sleep in each other’s bed afterward. And they didn’t kiss on the lips if it wasn’t time for sex. 

So now, they were in the shower, and once the paint had been washed from their bodies, Eddie had Richie pushed against the wall, kissing his neck while Richie ran his hands up his back. 

Richie was new to the sex world, and he still got hard pretty quickly. Eddie could touch him a certain way once and it was over. Eddie was not new to the sex world, but he was new to sex with Richie, so it was fair to say he got hard pretty easily too. 

Eddie had been grinding on him slightly while he kissed him, but now as he sucked into his friend’s neck the grinds got more intense, and Richie couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Eds,” he pleaded, his voice strained, “Need you. Please.” 

Eddie smirked, moving to turn off the shower. They stumbled out and dried as quickly as possible before Eddie was being lifted again, tossed down onto Richie’s bed. 

Richie had gotten used to things quite quickly. He knew exactly what places drove Eddie crazy, and how to control his pace just enough to get him desperate. He had one hand holding firmly on Eddie’s hip bone, holding his thigh up slightly while he left kisses down his chest, stopping to lap at his nipples once he got there. 

“Fuck, Rich,” Eddie would say, tugging onto the wet strands of hair. “Just like that. You’re so good.” 

Any kind of praise from Eddie went straight to his dick, moaning solely at hearing the words. There were two things that really got Richie Tozier going. Praise and any sort of tug of his hair. 

Maybe there were three. Maybe Eddie in general is what would get Richie Tozier going. 

The lube was sat casually on the nightstand for easy reach, Richie frantically grabbing for it and pouring it on his fingers. He was never as hesitant as he was on the first night to do things. He sat back a little and opened Eddie’s legs a little more, leaving one hand resting on his knee while the other went to work, index finger circling his rim. 

“Please, Richie,” Eddie whined, “Need you in me, need you-Mmph!” 

Richie pushed the finger all the way through, pausing for just a second before moving in and out. 

Eddie shut his eyes, a smile on his face as he relished in the sensation, humming to give Richie the signal to go faster. 

“You want more, Eds?” Richie asked, a dark look in his eye, his finger reaching a faster pace. 

Eddie whined in response, moving a little to push himself further onto Richie’s finger. 

“Oh, you do,” Richie smirked, adding a second finger, “You love it, don’t you?” 

“I love it,” Eddie moaned, “Love when you fill me up.” 

“I’ll fill you up, baby,” Richie said, his fingers curling and stroking up, “I’ll do anything you want.” 

“Fuck!” Eddie gasped as Richie found his prostate, and every time Richie stroked this area, he swore he was blasted into another dimension. Jacob hadn’t put much thought into Eddie’s pleasure that didn’t also include his own. He hadn’t experienced something like this before. 

Soon enough, Richie was fucking him on three fingers, and he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Fuck, Rich, fuck me,” Eddie moaned, “I want to ride you.” 

“You do?” Richie asked, a gleam in his eye, pulling out his fingers to grab the condom box. 

“I want to ride you,” Eddie repeated, “Lay down. I got this.” 

Richie obliged, breathing harshly as he got the condom on and laid down, Eddie flipping and straddling him. Eddie settled himself and started to sink down on his dick, both of them moaning out at the contact. 

Eddie didn’t take very long to be able to bottom out, as he was getting quite used to this. In moments, he was resting on Richie all the way full, resting a palm on Richie’s chest as he took a second to catch his breath. 

“Fuck, Eddie,” Richie gasped, “You’re so fucking hot, oh my god. I love being inside you so much.” 

Eddie took that as a signal to start moving, picking himself up and pushing down slowly. Richie’s nails were digging into his hips, the slight pricks of pain motivating him to go further. 

Then, he was bouncing on him, and both of them were a moaning mess. 

All these years, Richie knew that there was a reason people were so into sex and that it was something he was missing out on, but he didn’t know it could feel this good. Now, he was laying down with the most attractive person he’s ever seen bouncing on him, the tightness of his hole shooting enough pleasure through his body to have him nearly in tears, and he wondered if it was this good for everybody. 

Eddie knew it wasn’t this good for everybody. He knew because he had always enjoyed sex, and it was something he missed in the half a year since his break-up and before meeting Richie, but it hadn’t been this good. He didn’t know the extent of how good it could be. 

He didn’t know how good it would be with someone who actually cared about him, who actually cared about making him feel good. 

He was quiet for a minute at the thought, wondering why an arrangement for casual sex was more caring than when he had sex with his boyfriend. It didn’t make any sense. This was still an arrangement for casual sex, right? Richie didn’t think that-

Just before he could get too deep into his thoughts, the head of Richie’s dick brushed against his prostate, melting him into the euphoria of it. Richie thrusted upward against that spot every time, the sweet spot being stroked against at a rapid pace, and he was going to break. 

“Ri-Rich,” he cried, and he didn’t have to say anymore. 

Richie moved his hand down to wrap around Eddie’s length, attempting to match his strokes with his thrusts. He succeeded at first, but they started to go out of time as his thrusts became more sloppy, signalling he was close too. 

“You gonna come, baby?” Richie said, “Come on, Eds. I wanna see you come.” 

Eddie cried out, his cum spilling over Richie’s hand all over his stomach. This was all it took for Richie to follow, and Eddie had learned to memorize the look on his face when he orgasmed, and seeing it was almost enough to make him come again. 

Eddie fell over Richie’s chest, both of them breathing harshly as they came down from their highs. 

This was how it always ended. One minute, they were finger painting, and the next, they were having mind-blowing sex. It was just the way things worked. 

Eddie lifted himself up, wincing a little at the emptiness, and collapsed next to Richie. 

They never slept in the same bed after sex, but it was far too early to go to bed anyways and Eddie’s thighs felt like literal fucking jello. 

“We just took a shower,” Eddie finally said, sighing at the mess of cum and sweat on them. 

Richie laughed. “Shower round two?” 

Just as the words left his mouth, there was a knock on the door. 

“Richie! Open up!” 

“Jesus fuck!” Richie cursed under his breath, “Uh, just a minute Bev!” 

“Dude, did you know she was coming?” Eddie exclaimed. 

“No, I swear! She didn’t say shit,” Richie scrambled up, pacing to get toilet paper and clean himself off. Eddie quickly threw a shirt and shorts on, not even bothering to check what clothes they were. He didn’t even bother getting off the bed, because walking seemed extremely unappealing right now. 

So Richie had walked back out once the last traces of cum were gone and slipped underwear on, not even bothering to put on any other clothes before answering the door. 

Eddie tucked the blanket over his body in horror. Bev was making her way in while he was a sweaty mess in Richie’s bed, and Richie hadn’t even bothered to put real clothes on. 

“Richie!” Eddie said, “You’re practically naked!” 

“It’s just Bev,” he shrugged, turning to her, “What brings you here on this fine evening?”

“I know I should’ve called first but I have something I absolutely need to tell you and it needed to be in person. I almost ran two red lights on the way here,” she said. 

“Well, you better thank god you didn’t, because if you would’ve got here five minutes earlier-” 

“Richie!” Eddie scolded, grabbing the nearest object in sight and throwing it at him, not realizing he had just thrown a pair of his own underwear from the other day. 

“And you’ve got to stop leaving your underwear just sitting on the bed. It’s gross,” Eddie quickly backed up. 

“Those? Hmm. Richie told me he doesn’t wear white briefs. He has a vendetta against them,” Bev smirked. 

Eddie blushed, growling and hiding back under the blanket as Richie started to laugh hysterically. 

“You know what? It’s okay. I’m not going to mention this ever again,” Bev chuckled, and then turned back to Richie, grabbing his hands. “And I don’t even care where your hands have been right now, you need to hear this and you need to hear this right.” 

Eddie was seriously going to die. 

“Alright Bevvie, what do you got?” Richie asked. 

“Okay! So,” she started, “Ben and I hung out yesterday. He brought me to his house.” 

“Did he now?” Richie said, “So what’s the big scandal? Does he have a monster cock or something? Or, god forbid, the opposite-” 

“No, you perv!” she slapped his shoulder, “We haven’t even done that.” 

“Okay, color me officially intrigued,” Richie said, “Continue.” 

“So it was a pretty nice day. Beforehand, we had went to this little ice cream place uptown. He had vanilla and I had strawberry. He asked if I wanted to go to his house, and I have to admit my mind was in the gutter too. But then I got there, and he had this golden retriever named Biscuit come running up to me, and his mom and grandma were there. And you know what his mom said?” 

“What did she say?” Richie replied. 

“She said, ‘Oh, is this the famous Beverly?’” 

“Oh my fucking god, Bev!” Richie shouted. 

“I know!” Bev replied, “So we ended up helping his grandma make cookies, and then we went up to his room and played Just Dance for a few hours. He’s actually pretty good at it.” 

“Sounds domestic as fuck,” Richie said, “Beverly Marsh, are you hiding a secret relationship from me?” 

“That’s the thing!” she said, “I don’t know what we are. We’re friends the last time I checked, and we hung out as friends the last time I checked, but he’s telling his family about it and he seems so genuine. Like he actually wants to be around me and doesn’t want to just get in my pants. How do I tell if he wants to date?” 

“Bev, my love, that isn’t even a question,” Richie said, “Of course he wants to date! He’s talking about you to his fucking family! He’s bringing you to meet his fucking golden retriever!” 

“I haven’t dated someone,” she said, “It’s kind of scary, you know?” 

“Just follow your pursuit of happiness, Bev,” Eddie added, “He seems to be really good for you.” 

“You know? You’re right,” Bev said, “It isn’t dating that’s bad. It’s dating the wrong people.” 

“Exactly!” Richie said, “Friends don’t treat friends that way. He wouldn’t be so domestic if he didn’t want something more.” 

Eddie gulped. He and Richie could be sort of domestic sometimes. They made food together, watched tv together, made fucking finger paintings together. If Richie felt that way about that, did he have romantic feelings for Eddie? 

Or, even worse. Was what Bev said about dating true?   
“You should have a sleepover. See if he cuddles you at night,” Richie suggested. 

“Hmm, that does sound like a good idea,” she replied. 

“Of course!” Richie said, “Cuddling is way more intimate than sex, I think. The way he looks at you when he cuddles you should tell you something.” 

“I don’t know how to bring that up, though,” Bev said, then, “Wait a minute! I have an idea!” 

“What is it?” Richie asked. 

“We could all have some sort of sleepover party at my aunt’s! That way, it’s like another party and it wouldn’t be too awkward to ask him. Would you guys be down?” she glowed. 

“Fuck yeah we’re down!” Richie smiled, “Right Eds?” 

“Yeah, for sure,” Eddie said. 

“There you have it,” Richie told her, “This weekend?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure that could work,” Bev said, “Oh, and Eddie! Bring Bill and Mike, would you? I adore them.” 

“Sounds good, I’ll give them the heads up tonight,” Eddie said. 

“Perfect!” Bev said, “Well, I’ll leave you to get dressed now, Rich. I’m going to head to Stan’s now and hope he’s not fucking Patty too.” 

“You two really have no modesty,” Eddie shook his head. 

“You’ll get used to it soon, babe,” Bev winked, and kissed Richie on the cheek. “See you later!” 

They waved their goodbyes and she was out the door. 

“So,” Richie turned to Eddie, “Want me to order Chinese?” 

Before they knew it, the weekend arrived. 

Richie had dragged Eddie to Target earlier that week to get matching onesies for the sleepover, and Eddie had to admit that it was cute. Not in a romantic way, but in a way to establish that the two of them were a duo, no matter what their relationship was. 

“Rich, are you almost done in there?” Eddie pounded at the bathroom, “Bill and Mike are already there and we still haven’t even bought our share of the snacks!” 

Richie popped the door open, already snug in his onesie. “Sorry Eds. My leg hair was out of control.”

“You can’t even see it! You’re wearing pajamas!” Eddie laughed. 

“I can see it! Like, mentally! I’d have to walk around knowing it’s there,” Richie replied. 

Eddie shook his head. “Alright, well is it gone now? We need to go.” 

“All good to go!” Richie announced, switching the bathroom light off. They grabbed their backpacks and headed out to Richie’s car. 

“So, what snacks are we getting?” Eddie asked. 

“I was thinking cookies,” Richie said, “That’s super sleepovery, isn’t it?” 

“Bill and Mike are bringing cookies, but I wouldn’t count on that,” Eddie said, “Knowing them, they’re going to try to make it themselves and Bill should not be allowed to prepare anything edible. Ever.” 

“Gotcha. Cookies it is,” Richie said. 

They pulled into the same Target they had bought the pajamas at days prior, and people in the parking lot were already giving them strange looks as they walked towards the store. In the past, it would have made Eddie insecure. This time, he had to laugh. 

“You want a ride, Eds?” Richie asked. 

“A ride? What do you mean a ride?” 

“Like this!” 

Richie grabbed the nearest shopping cart and pulled it beside him, picking up Eddie and setting him inside it. 

“Richie, what the fuck?” Eddie laughed, “I’m too heavy! Get me out!” 

“Light as a feather,” Richie winked, “You could reach the cookies on the lower shelves!” 

“Or, you could, you know, bend down!” Eddie told him. 

“No fun in that,” Richie said, “Now hold on tight!” 

He pushed the cart across the street, letting go of it completely, and just as Eddie prepared to crash straight into the wall and break every bone in his body, Richie ran up and caught the cart again. 

“Asshole!” Eddie said, “I could’ve died! You should be charged with attempted murder!” 

“Relax! It was fun,” Richie began to push the cart normally now, ignoring the glances of those around them. “It’s like a rollercoaster.” 

“Rollercoasters are constantly inspected by actual engineers, you know that right?” Eddie said, “Are you an engineer now? Did you inspect this cart?” 

“How’d you know?” Richie asked, “I tested it for gravitational pull and all that at three am last night.” 

“And the sad part is that I kind of believe you,” Eddie laughed, accepting his position and leaning back against the cart wall as Richie pushed him through the store. They ended up picking up several boxes of cookies to assure variety, and got ingredients for hot chocolate.

Finally, as it was their turn in line, the cashier recognized them immediately. 

“Wow, would you look at that!” she said, ‘The onesies fit you perfectly!” 

“Thank you!” Richie smiled, “The best purchase I’ve ever made, ma’am.” 

“Such a cute couple you are,” she smiled, and Eddie waited for Richie to make some retort back. But he didn’t. He just smiled and handed her his debit card. 

It made Eddie feel strange. Well, there was one reason it  _ should  _ make him feel strange, that being that Richie didn’t even correct her. What was that about? Was he too embarrassed, or did he have a different impression than Eddie? 

Maybe they should sit down and have that conversation soon. 

But there was one reason it actually  _ did  _ make him feel strange. And that was the reason that the implication of him and Richie being together made his stomach warm. 

They were silent the way back to the car. 

“You know,” Richie said as they drove, breaking the silence, “When me and Bev and Stan were younger, we liked to push each other in carts down a hill behind our high school.” 

“Really?” Eddie replied, “And no bones were broken?” 

“No bones were broken!” Richie said, “A few bruises, maybe. But then they put magnets in the carts and our fun was over. If they hadn’t, we’d probably still be doing it to this day.” 

“It does sound fun,” Eddie said, “Even though it was terrifying without the hill.” 

“Laugh in the face of danger, Eds,” Richie said, “It isn’t even fun if death isn’t on the other side of the line.” 

“Maybe so,” Eddie said, and he wondered what it would be like to have a race in shopping carts, knowing you just might slam face first into the pavement. Maybe he’d like to try it. 

Soon, they arrived at Bev’s aunt’s, parking on the curb and collecting their snacks and bags. 

“We’re so late,” Eddie shook his head as they walked up to the door. 

“Fashionably, of course,” Richie said, and just as Eddie was going to tell him that they surpassed fashionably a long time ago, Richie burst the door open. 

“The party is here!” Richie announced, Eddie trailing behind him. 

“Hey!” Bev greeted, Stan following behind her, “What took you so long?” 

“Richie took forever shaving his legs,” Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“You’re wearing a onesie! No one can even see,” Stan told him. 

“That’s what I said!” Eddie agreed. 

“But I know it’s there,” Richie insisted, “It had to go. But we’re here now!” 

“Everyone’s in the basement,” Bev said, “Bill’s already drunk.” 

“God, what have we created,” Eddie shook his head, and they headed down. 

“Eddie!” Bill exclaimed, “Hey, you have cookies? I told you I was baking cookies!” 

“Bill, I love you, but that is exactly why I brought them,” Eddie teased, and Mike came to hug him as well. 

“You guys have matching pajamas!” Mike gushed, “That’s adorable.” 

Eddie blushed, and he couldn’t stop from smiling. Mike noticed, a smirk on his face. 

“Alright, where’s the drinks?” Richie asked, and the party resumed. 

Music played out of Bev’s speaker sitting in the corner, and she was dancing with Ben. Eddie smiled, and he really was happy for Bev. Ben seemed to compliment her well, and he knew they would be dating in no time. 

When he turned his attention away, he noticed Richie was already gazing at him, but his eyes darted away as soon as Eddie saw him. Interesting. 

“So, when are the party games coming?” Richie asked after a few drinks. 

“Party games?” Eddie asked. 

“LIke truth or dare or something,” Richie said, “You know, stuff like that.” 

“I wanna play truth or dare,” Bill said, “I’ve never played that!” 

“You’re going to ask nothing but creepy ass questions,” Stan rolled his eyes, “I’m sorry Richie, but I’m never going to tell you what my kinks are.” 

“You’re no fun, Stanley,” Richie pouted, sitting criss-crossed on the floor, “Let’s play, yeah?” 

“I’m down,” Ben smiled, sitting beside him. 

“Ben here wants the juice on all of you bitches,” Richie said, and they laughed. Eddie sat on the other side of Richie, their thighs touching. 

“So how is this going to work?” Mike asked. 

“So, we spin the bottle and the first person it lands on is the receiver of truth or dare, and then spin it again and that person gives it,” Richie explained, everyone sitting in the circle now. “Alright, bottle, let’s see what you got.” 

It spun, once, twice, three times, and landed on Bill. 

“Yes!” Bill said, “I wanna do a dare. I’m gonna do a dare.” 

“And let’s see who shall decide your fate,” Richie spun again. It landed on Bev.

“Ooh, okay!” Bev said, “Dare, right?” 

“Yes, I choose dare,” Bill said. 

“Alright. Eat five spoonfuls of nacho cheese,” she said. 

“Easy!” Bill smirked.

“You better not throw up, Bill,” Eddie said, “That’s disgusting.” 

“Me? Throw up? Never,” he said, walking to the table to grab the jar of cheese and a spoon. 

And he took five spoonfuls down without a wince. 

“Okay, that was actually pretty impressive,” Stan nodded, “I’d have puked.” 

“He’ll eat anything,” Mike shrugged, “But Bill? Brush your teeth before you kiss me.” 

“You don’t like the cheesy flavor, Mikey?” Richie asked, “I think it’d be pretty hot.” 

“I should’ve known you had a food kink. I honestly should’ve known,” Stan said. 

“Moving on!” Bev said, “Spin it again.” 

It landed on Ben, and then Mike. 

“Okay, truth or dare?” Mike asked. 

“Dare,” Ben replied. 

“Hmm, do something you’ve always wanted to do that’s possible to do right now,” Mike said. 

“That’s a good one,” Richie said. 

“Okay,” Ben pondered, and then turned to Bev. “Hey Bev? Is it okay if I kiss your cheek?” 

“Oh!” Bev blushed, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, of course.” 

He leaned in and planted his lips to his cheek, an echo of  _ awws  _ around them. 

“No kiss on the lips?’ Richie asked. 

“I wouldn’t want to do that for the first time during a truth or dare game,” Ben said shyly, “And I’ve always wanted to kiss her cheeks. They’re rosy.” 

“Shut up!” Bev rested her hand on his thigh. “You’re so sweet, Ben.” 

“This is so cute that I’m going to throw up,” Richie said, “Next!” 

They spent quite some time doing this, and soon everyone was laughing, and it was like they had all been best friends forever. Eddie never knew he could have something like this. It made him feel on top of the world. 

And then it landed on Richie. And then Eddie. 

“Eds!” Richie beamed, “I’m gonna go with truth. I wanna see what you wanna know about me.” 

“Okay,” Eddie tapped his chin in thought, “Alright, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” 

“Ha, well, it’d have to be when…” Richie’s voice drifted, and he froze up. His eyes were wider than usual, and he looked like he just remembered something that he didn’t want to. 

“Rich? You okay?” Eddie asked when Richie stopped talking. Richie’s glance drifted to the side, looking like a ghost. 

“Hey, uh, I’ll be right back, okay? I need a smoke,” Richie said, and suddenly he was jetting up the basement stairs. Bev and Stan looked at each other for a second and made a silent agreement, Bev getting up and following Richie. 

“What just happened?” Eddie asked, and his heart was beating a little too fast. 

“Don’t be worried,” Stan said, “It’s nothing you did. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“But why did he get so upset?” Eddie asked, “What happened?” 

Stan sighed. “Richie went through a lot this year, did some crazy things, I guess, and it probably just reminded him of it. Past things can be remembered from the most random things, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie looked down sadly. 

“It isn’t my place to say anything that happened, but he’ll tell you when he’s ready. I’m sure after a smoke with Bev he’ll feel better and will be getting on all of our nerves again,” Stan said, putting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. 

Eddie nodded, tucking his knees in. 

“Let’s eat some more snacks? Maybe I can make the hot chocolate,” Ben suggested. 

Eddie nodded, and Mike stood to help him up. 

“He’s okay, Eddie,” Mike told him, “He’ll come back soon.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed. 

Outside, Richie was sitting on the front porch, taking a hit of the joint he had. He was pretty glad he ended up bringing it. 

Bev came outside shortly, sitting beside him and resting her head on his shoulder. 

“You okay?” she asked him. 

“I don’t want him to see me differently,” Richie said. 

Bev frowned, sitting up to grab Richie’s hand. “Babe, he would never think of you differently.” 

“He might think I’m a freak,” Richie said, “Or too much to handle. Like I’m emotional baggage waiting to happen. What if he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore?” 

“This is Eddie we’re talking about,” she assured him, “Eddie who looks at you like you’ve got stars in your eyes. I don’t think anything could make him look at you differently, but especially not that. It does not make you any lesser, and it is not something someone can judge. You’re so strong and we’re so proud of you, and Eddie would be too.” 

“I just don’t want him to leave me,” Richie said, just above a mumble. 

“He won’t. He wouldn’t,” Bev said, “I see him, Richie. He cares about you so much. I think it might help if you tell him, but only if you’re ready for that. There’s no rush.” 

“I owe him an explanation for why I ran out like that over a simple question,” Richie sighed, “You really think he wouldn’t judge me?” 

“I know he wouldn’t judge you,” Bev soothed, “He never would. It’s okay Richie.” 

Richie closed his eyes for a second, trying to stop his eyes from watering, and opened them again. 

“Okay. Okay. I’m gonna just tell him.” 

“Are you sure?” Bev asked, “I know it’s hard to open up about.” 

“You’re right,” Richie said, “Eddie has been nothing but kind to me and it would be wrong of me to assume how he would react to things. I need to be straight up with him.” 

“Okay, Richie,” she said, “As long as you’re sure.” 

“Can you go get him?” he asked. 

“Sure thing,” she said, squeezing his hand and snuggling his shoulder before going back inside. 

When Bev walked back into the basement without Richie, everyone looked a little alarmed. 

“Eddie?” she called out, “He wants to talk to you.” 

Eddie nodded, seeing Bev pull Stan to the corner to whisper something to him. Eddie was nervous, but he went up the basement stairs. 

He got outside as quickly as he could, sitting on the stair beside him. 

“Hey,” Eddie said. 

“Hey,” Richie replied, “I’m really sorry I ran out like that.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” Eddie said, “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m gonna tell you about some things that went on with me,” Richie said, “Is that okay?” 

“Of course,” Eddie said, “You can tell me anything.” 

“Well,” Richie sighed. “When I was 12, I started to get less enthusiastic about life. The world lost some color and everything felt draining to do. I didn’t know why, but I knew something was wrong. It continued throughout the years, sort of living in the back of my mind, but as I got older it kept getting worse. When I was 14, I started dealing with self-harm. I just lived my life like that, I guess, but every coming year it got worse and worse until I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. Last May, I couldn’t take it anymore and I attempted suicide. Stan just happened to be coming to visit and found me, and I will spare you the details but I survived, and then I spent some time in the hospital. The hospital was very helpful, and they diagnosed me with depression and got me on meds. Real life savers, those things are. Since meds and therapy, I’ve been feeling so much better and I don’t self harm anymore, and things got even better when you came along. But you know what was the first thing I said when I woke up? ‘Damn, that was the craziest shit I’ve ever done.’” 

“Richie…” Eddie whispered, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea I’m...I’m so sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Richie said, “I promise I’m okay now, so I don’t want you to worry about me either.” 

Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie, snuggling into the crook of his neck. “You’re so strong, Rich. I’m so proud of you. I’m so happy you’re here.” 

Richie allowed a tear to fall out at that, feeling so relieved to hear those words from Eddie. He leaned his head to the side on top of Eddie’s, and he had never felt so at peace. 

“I’m happy you felt safe enough to open up to me,” Eddie said, “You always can. I promise I’ll always be here for you. You mean a lot to me, Rich.” 

“You mean a lot to me too, Eds,” he said, “You can’t even imagine.” 

They sat there in silence for a while, Richie leaning into Eddie’s hold. Once enough time had passed and he felt better, he sat up a little and ruffled Eddie’s hair. 

“You want to go back in there?” Richie asked, “You know there’s no party without us.” 

“You feeling better?” Eddie asked. 

“Thanks to you,” Richie smiled, and he hoped he wasn’t being too mushy. He wouldn’t want to cross the line and push Eddie away. 

“Good,” Eddie said, “Let’s go.” 

When they returned, their friends were sitting on the raggedy couch, watching a movie. 

“Hey, we’re watching Halloween,” Bev said, “Sit down.” 

“I love this one,” Richie said, he and Eddie sitting on the floor against the couch. 

They spent the next hours watching old movies and eating snacks, and then Stan and Bill fell asleep. Everyone picked a different spot to set up their sleeping bags, Richie and Eddie setting theirs up in the corner. 

“Sweet dreams, Eds,” Richie told him before rolling over. 

“Sleep tight,” Eddie smiled.

But Eddie couldn’t sleep at all. 

He spent the next few hours staring in the darkness, tossing and turning in his bag. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Richie had told him. He couldn’t stop thinking about Richie. He couldn’t stop thinking about how important he was to him. 

This could not be a crush. It could not be. Eddie couldn’t give up what he had already built to protect himself. He needed to protect himself. 

Richie was just important to him because he was the most special person he’s ever met. He didn’t need to date Richie to know he couldn’t imagine his life without him. 

Richie just meant a lot to him, that’s all. 

Then, a stirring sound interrupted the silence. He turned his gaze to Richie, who was moving a lot in his sleep. Eddie couldn’t see well in the dark, but he could make out the outline of Richie’s face, his eyelids scrunched. He was whining a little, clearly in distress. 

“Rich,” Eddie whispered, “Richie.” 

No response, but Richie still seemed to be in alarm.

“Richie,” Eddie repeated, unzipping his bag carefully and crawling to him. He rested his hands on Richie’s shoulders, caressing them a little. “Richie?” 

Richie woke up at the sound of Eddie’s voice, his eyes shooting open and a teardrop falling over his cheek. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Eddie comforted, “It’s okay. It was just a nightmare. You’re safe.” 

“I-I dreamt that,” Richie wiped his tears, “I dreamt that you left me. You didn’t want to be my friend anymore and everything felt bad.” 

“Come into my sleeping bag,” Eddie said, and Richie listened. They squeezed into the bag, only fitting when Eddie was spooning him completely, their legs tangled together. 

“I’m not leaving,” Eddie said, “I’m never leaving, okay? Never. I’ve got you.” 

Eddie continued to cuddle into him, whispering words of comfort and holding him as tight as he could. Richie began to relax, melting into Eddie’s hold, and soon he fell asleep again. Eddie smiled, and just held him closer. 

Eddie remembered what Richie said. He said cuddling was more intimate than sex, and that it shows how someone really feels. He shouldn’t be cuddling Richie like this when they were just friends, but he was. He should be insecure about this, but he wasn’t. He wasn’t, because he felt warm and safe, and everything about holding Richie felt right. 

It didn’t have to mean anything. It just felt like home.


	6. six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYY so I haven't updated this fic in fucking FOREVER you probably all forgot about it LMAO but the hiatus is over and I'm going to finish this! Updates should go back to being regular now. Sorry about the hiatus!

It was October.

Eddie had known Richie about two months, but he truly felt as if he had known him years and years, feeling like his spirit was meant to connect with his. They did something together about everyday, whether that would be visiting their friends or staying in for a movie night, and Eddie spent all of his time in class planning what movie Richie might want to see that evening. Their arrangement was friends with benefits, Eddie knew that, but he began to prefer the times where they were sitting on the couch, Eddie’s legs kicked over Richie’s lap while he laughed and laughed about something in some movie rather than the times where they had sex. His happiest moments were when he could be with Richie, just making some new memory to outdo the last. 

But that didn’t have to mean anything. Maybe it was just how it felt to have a very best friend. 

Eddie walked down the hall to his dorm, lightly playing with the cuff of his long sleeve as he walked. It was the heart of autumn now, and there was a touch of a breeze in the air, and that meant he finally could wear the ginger longsleeve that he bought with Bev. Even inside the dorm hall, his cheeks were lightly rosy from the five pm chill outside, and it brought a smile to his face. He thought autumn was a lovely time of year. 

Eddie walked into the room, throwing his backpack over the side of the bed. It was a hard day in statistics today, but tomorrow started the weekend, so that consoled him a bit. 

“Welcome home, Eds!” Richie called out from the kitchen. 

“Making dinner?” Eddie asked, walking over and resting his chin on Richie’s shoulder. 

“Mac and cheese tonight,” Richie said, “You could get like three boxes for one dollar at the student store today so I might have stacked up.” 

“Fine with me,” Eddie smiled, heading to the fridge to pour himself and Richie some lemonade as Richie served the food into bowls. 

“Bon appetit,” Richie winked, passing the bowl to Eddie. 

“God, I haven’t had some of this in so long,” Eddie said. 

“Stan and Bev always put me on mac and cheese duty because I ignore the measurement instructions and just eyeball it and then it comes out more bomb than when you do follow it,” Richie said, as Eddie took a bite, “Do you agree?” 

“Mm, I agree,” Eddie said, “Stats sucked today. This was well needed.” 

“I’m glad I could make it better,” Richie said, weakly smiling. 

Richie looked away after that, his eyes drifting to the side of the room and his foot tapping against the floor. Eddie knew how to recognize the signs of Richie being nervous, and just as he opened his mouth to ask if he was okay-

“I have a proposal for you,” Richie said. 

“Yeah? What kind of proposal?” 

“Well, um, I was just wondering if you wanted to go on an adventure with me tomorrow.” 

“An adventure?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah! Well, I was thinking we could go to the city, and I have a list of things to do there to surprise you. Only if you want to.” 

Eddie put his fork down, smiling warmly and reaching over to rest his fingers on Richie’s wrist. “Rich, of course I would go on an adventure with you.” 

Richie blinked once and then a big, stupid smile grew on his face. “We’ll leave at two tomorrow, does that sound good?” 

_ Anything with you _ , Eddie wanted to say. 

“Sure,” he said instead.

The next day, Eddie fixes the collar of one of the tops he bought with Bev, a dark blue button up with white polka dots. He hadn’t worn it since he bought it, but as he stood in front of the mirror, wearing it felt so  _ right _ . 

He pushed a strand of hair over and turned around to leave, halting as Richie was already in the doorway. 

“Stalker!” Eddie teased. 

“Hey, this is my bathroom too!” Richie said, “But, uh, you look good. I like the shirt.” 

“Thanks,” Eddie blushed.  _ Why was he blushing over that?  _

“You all ready to go?” Richie asked, extending his hand. 

“All ready if you are,” Eddie replied, taking his hand. 

Richie smiled, squeezing his hand once before pulling him towards the door. “Then off we go!” 

The big city was only a thirty minute drive, but Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he had been there, so he anticipated the drive. Richie was playing something upbeat again. Eddie noticed that Richie played calmer, alternative music at home, but brought out the party music any time he and Eddie were on their way to something fun. Like he wanted to hype them up. Eddie appreciated that. 

“So, what kind of things are we going to be doing?” Eddie asked. 

“I’ve got a list planned out,” Richie said, “But I’d like to surprise you. I hope you like them.” 

“Of course I will,” Eddie said, and he reflexively rested his hand on Richie’s thigh as he drove. Richie tensed a bit for a second, but then relaxed into his chair, a warm smile on his face. 

Eddie spent the rest of the drive gazing out the window, and the feeling of the breeze caressing his cheek and the warmth of Richie’s thigh under his grasp and the music accompanying the comfortable silence made him feel like this was living. It was the middle of October, he was on the way to the city with who just might be his favorite person, and today was going to be a good day. 

As the car finally drove through the big city, Eddie leaned forward and gazed in awe. He hadn’t done many things in his life, and he hadn’t gone to too many places. Jacob wasn’t interested in extravagant dates, and his mom wouldn’t let him go very many places either. To be riding through the city, a new adventure around every corner, felt exhilarating. 

“You like it?” Richie asked.

“I love it,” Eddie answered, “How often do you go here?” 

“Bev, Stan and I liked to go sometimes during the summer,” Richie said, “The lights are really pretty at night. You’ll see.” 

Eddie closed his eyes in contentment, lightly squeezing Richie’s thigh. 

“Here we go!” Richie announced, pulling into a parking spot. “Our adventure begins.” 

“What’s first on the list, hm?” Eddie asked. 

“You like cats?” Richie asked. 

“Cats?’ Eddie raised an eyebrow, “We petting some strays down the alley or something?” 

“No, no,” Richie laughed. “You’ve got to check this out.” 

They got out of the car and walked up a sidewalk, small shops surrounding them. It was a nice subsection of the city, fashion boutiques that probably were way too pricey for either of them. But it was nice to look. 

After a small amount of walking, Richie pulled Eddie’s sleeve. “Here we are?” 

Eddie looked up, reading the sign of the little building in front of him. “Cat cafe?” 

“You pet kittens and drink coffee!” Richie exclaimed, “It’s pretty adorable.” 

“That does sound pretty adorable,” Eddie smiled, and Richie opened the door for him.

“Hello!” a girl with pink hair greeted them, “Do you have reservations?” 

“Indeed I do,” Richie said, checking the clock beside them. “And we’re right on time. For two.” 

“Perfect,” she answered, “And any orders?” 

“Two coffees,” he said, “One with two creams and one with four.” 

Eddie chuckled a bit. 

“Coming right up,” she said, and Richie paid for it. 

“Rich, you don’t have to pay for me,” Eddie reached for his wallet, “I have money-” 

“No,” Richie answered. “Today’s on me. Don’t worry about it.” 

“C’mon, let me pay for myself,” Eddie pouted, “I’ll feel bad.” 

“Too late,” Richie said as she handed him the receipt, “I’m taking you on an adventure, remember? You don’t have to worry.” 

“Mm. Okay,” Eddie surrendered, “But I’m paying for us next time.”

“Sounds good,” Richie winked, and held the door open for Eddie. 

They walked into the room, decorated with pink decorations, and saw an abundance of kittens chipperly running around the room. 

“Oh my god,” Eddie held his hands to his cheeks, “They’re... oh my god.” 

“Let’s find one,” Richie walked further into the room, lowering himself down a little. “Kitty kitty? Where are you?” 

A little black kitten appeared from under the couch, walking toward him. Richie gently picked him up, holding him to his chest and walking back to Eddie. 

“Look, his name is Rocket,” Richie gestured to the tag on his neck.

Eddie walked closer, raising his hand to pet the kitten’s head. Rocket meowed and rubbed his head against Eddie’s hand. 

“That’s so fucking cute,” Eddie said, continuing to pet the kitten as Richie held him. 

“I love kittens,” Richie smiled, “I knew you would too.” 

“I do,” Eddie said, “My mom never let me have one. She said I’d get allergies.” 

“Do you think we could sneak one into the dorm?” Richie asked, “We could have a little buddy around.” 

“Sure,” Eddie laughed, “We’ll get kicked out and have to return home.” 

“Not if we don’t get caught, we won’t,” Richie said, “I mean, c’mon. You can resist bringing home a little guy like this?” 

“Don’t guilt me,” Eddie pouted, “I do wish we could have one.” 

“It’s okay. We can go to the cat cafe for now,” Richie said, softly placing Rocket back on the floor. “And you get your favorite coffee.” 

“How’d you find this place?” Eddie asked, leaning down to rest on his knees to be on the kitten’s level. 

“My little sister found it. We used to go as a family,” Richie said, “I thought it’d be a cute thing for us to do.” 

“It is,” Eddie said, stroking an orange kitten that had found his way over to them. 

“Here’s your coffees!” the pink haired girl returned back, holding two cups. 

“Thanks!” Richie grabbed them, also kneeling down to sit behind Eddie. 

Eddie grabbed his cup and sipped on it gently. “Damn. It’s good.” 

“I would only buy you the finest of coffees,” Richie winked, taking a sip of his own and resting it on the table so he could crawl closer to the cats. 

Eddie sat back and drank his coffee, laughing a bit as he watched Richie sit in the middle of the room with his legs spread out, three different kittens walking up to his lap. 

“They love you!” Eddie snickered, watching as Richie picked one up and rested it on his thigh. 

“I’m an animal whisperer, you know,” Richie said, “Call me Steve Irwin.” 

“Sure,” Eddie laughed, shaking his head, “Go into some swamp and see if the crocodiles do the same.” 

“Is that a dare?” Richie replied, “I’ll do it. Get me on a plane and I’ll go right into the swamp and make some crocodile buddies.” 

“Yeah, sure, it’s a dare,” Eddie said, “Just don’t come crying to me when your arm is bit off.” 

“You wouldn’t kiss it better?” Richie laughed, tensing a little after he said it. 

Eddie tensed back, but then laughed again. “Maybe if I’m in a good mood.” 

Eddie spent the rest of his time sipping on coffee until his cup was empty, watching Richie carefully as he played with the cats. He seemed to be in perfect contentedness, gazing at the kittens fondly as he played with them. Eddie was gazing at him fondly too, but he remembered to look away when Richie looked up. 

They spent the rest of their reservation playing with the cats once their coffees were finished, and Eddie had gotten a few to come to him as well. When it was time to leave, they both pet Rocket one last time before walking out of the doors. 

“That was fucking adorable,” Eddie said, “What now?” 

“There’s a shopping district just a few blocks away,” Richie said, “Not as expensive as this one.” 

“I don’t want you buying me a bunch of shit, Richie,” Eddie said, “I already feel bad.” 

“Sucks to suck,” Richie answered, “If you like something, I’ll get it.” 

Eddie sighed, but a small smile grew on his face as they walked down the sidewalk, walking by his side happily as they went through the streets. 

They spent hours at the shopping district, walking through each little street shop and stopping for some street tacos. Richie had picked up an action figure for himself and a few bootleg DVDs, and he had gotten two shirts for Eddie that he caught him looking at for a second too long. They had lost track of time and suddenly the sun was setting, the air getting even more crisp. 

“You cold?” Richie asked him, “You’re shivering a bit.” 

“Just a little bit,” Eddie answered, “I’m wearing a long sleeve too. How annoying.” 

“Well, you’re in good luck. I myself don’t get cold,” Richie said, taking off his jacket and resting it over Eddie’s shoulders.    
“You sure?” Eddie asked. 

“I always am,” Richie smiled as Eddie stuck his arms through the oversized sleeves, “You never have to question me, Eds.” 

“Okay,” Eddie answered, wrapping himself in the warmth. 

He knew he never had to question Richie. 

“It’s going to get dark soon,” Richie said, “Let’s get back to the car, yeah? I have another stop for us.” 

“Ooh, okay,” Eddie said, and they began the walk back to the car. 

Once they got inside, Richie turned the heater on for Eddie and they drove only a little until he was going up a hill, a large building on top of it. 

“What’s this?” Eddie asked. 

“Have you ever been to the observatory?” Richie asked. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Eddie said, “It’s about space, right?” 

“Yeah,” Richie answered, “You can see all the stars. It’s um, it’s really pretty.” 

“I bet it is,” Eddie told him, “I’m excited.” 

Richie had led Eddie out of the car, but he had a bit more nerve than he had before, interlocking their pinkies. Eddie blushed, tightening his pinkie, but he could always blame the cold on his red cheeks. 

“There’s a big telescope at the top, and there’s a whole bunch of stuff about different planets, and we can get a better look at the moon,” Richie rambled, and he kept going on about the observatory with pure excitement in his voice, and Eddie could just stare. The sound of Richie’s voice under the evening sky and the breeze against his face made him feel the most at peace he’s ever felt. 

Richie dragged them into the building, paying for their tickets and entering through the doors. He took a second to pause, pressing his hand against Eddie’s chest to halt him and gazing up at the ceiling. “Isn’t it cool in here?” 

Eddie gazed at the displays on the ceiling and all the walls, the art of constellations and clear glass that displayed the purple sky. “Yeah. It’s so pretty.” 

They went through all of the exhibits, Richie pulling Eddie’s wrist along as he stopped at each frame in awe, going off about how interesting they were with energy radiating from his voice. Eddie did think the displays were beautiful, but it wasn’t what he was looking at. Richie’s eyes were lit up, a big smile on his face and his hair bouncing above his eyes, and he looked so happy. He looked so  _ beautiful _ . 

Eddie shook his head and looked away. He couldn’t stare at him anymore. It was too dangerous. 

Still, he leaned into the warmth of his side as they walked further down the halls, Richie’s arm wrapped snugly around his waist. It didn’t have to mean anything. It just felt good. 

It felt safe. 

“C’mon,” Richie said softly, “We’ve got to look at the telescope. It’s the best thing here.” 

“You sure?” Eddie laughed, “You’ve said that about everything here.” 

“Yeah, because we’ve just gone to everything that gets progressively better,” Richie said, “Now we’re going to be at the top. Number one.” 

“Alright, I’ll take your word for that,” Eddie laughed, and they went up the escalator to get to the very top. 

Richie led Eddie onto the balcony, and as soon as Eddie got back into the night against the breeze he let his eyes drift to the blanket of stars above them. “Wow. Beautiful night.” 

“Yeah,” Richie guided him further, “It is, isn’t it?” 

Eddie reached the edge of the telescope, wrapping his hand around it. “This is it?”

“Yes,” Richie said, “Go ahead and look. You have all the time in the world.” 

Eddie nodded, leaning down and adjusting himself against it, pointing it towards the sky. 

The galaxy shined above him, each of the constellations resting in the sky, the craters resting on the moon. 

“Whoa,” Eddie marveled, “That’s so...it’s so beautiful.” 

“Mhm,” Richie answered, leaning against the wall. Eddie’s eye was hidden by the telescope, but there was a big smile on his face, and Richie just could not stop looking. He wanted to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair, caress his cheek, wrap his arms around his sides and kiss the top of his head. But that wasn’t something he could do. It was far too tender. But Eddie was focused on the stars of the night right now, so he wasn’t going to catch him staring. He could give himself this. 

After a while, Eddie turned back and Richie moved his eyes to the sky. “Wanna look?” Eddie asked. 

“It’s okay,” Richie said, “I’ve seen what I wanted to see.” 

They walked through the other side of the observatory and saw the last of its features, heading through the gift shop and back out the door. 

“Did you like it?” Richie asked. 

“I loved it,” Eddie answered, “It was awesome. Was that our last stop?” 

“Not yet,” Richie answered, “I have one more thing on the list.” 

Eddie nodded. “Better than this?” 

“Maybe not,” Richie laughed, “But it’s a good way to end the day.” 

They got in the car again, silent as Richie drove up the hills, a calming song on the radio in contrast to the morning’s party music. Eddie leaned his head against the window, and he could just about fall asleep. 

Just as he started to daze off, he felt the car stop. 

“Here we are,” Richie announced. 

Eddie opened his eyes, looking out at a large hill. 

“What’s this?” Eddie asked. 

“You’ll see,” Richie replied, and he stepped out of the car. 

As soon as they were out of the car, Richie had enough confidence to hold Eddie’s hand, leading him up the hill to the ledge.    
“Whoa!” Eddie said, looking out at the view. It was the highest point in the city, the sea of bright lights shining in front of him. 

“It’s the top of the world. A little secret spot,” Richie said, “I thought you’d like to see it.” 

Eddie turned around to Richie, a bright smile on his face. “I’ve never seen the whole city like this before.” 

“Sit with me,” Richie said, “We could look at it for a while.” 

Eddie nodded, and they both sat on the grass of the hill. Eddie scooted closer to Richie, resting his face against his arm. 

Richie closed his eyes in bliss, wrapping his arm around Eddie’s side and holding him closer. 

They sat in silence for a while, Eddie admiring the view of the lights while Richie looked down at him. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah,” Richie answered, “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You’re staring,” Eddie laughed. 

“Oh, oh,” Richie looked away, “Sorry. Super sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” Eddie answered, “Just wanted to know why.” 

“Well…” Richie’s voice trailed. “You make me really happy. That’s all.” 

Eddie pulled off of Richie’s arm, and right before Richie could apologize he grabbed his hand. “Rich, can I tell you something?” 

“Of course,” he answered, “Anything in the world, you know.” 

Eddie nodded, looking into his eyes. “I don’t think I know what happy is. No one ever let me find out.” 

Richie nodded slowly. “I don’t either. I never let myself.” 

“No one ever let me, and I don’t know what a lot of things are, because I spent so much time living for other people. But...now? Today, when you took me all these nice places...I think this is it. I think this is what it means to be happy.” 

Richie hesitantly rubbed his thumb over Eddie’s hand. “Really?” 

“Really,” Eddie answered, “I never lived until I met you.” 

Richie smiled, letting his gaze drift to the floor. “You know, I have a bad relationship with myself. I never really let myself feel, definitely never let myself be happy. At the beginning of the year, I was at the lowest point in my life. I wanted everything to be over. I wanted me to be over. But now? It’s October, and I’m sitting on the top of the world with you, and you know what? I’m so fucking happy I’m alive.” 

Eddie squeezed his hand. “I’m so happy you’re here with me, Richie. I’m so proud of you, you know. You’re so brave.” 

“So are you,” Richie replied, “You didn’t have it easy either. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.” 

“It makes me really sad that you’ve hurt so much,” Eddie said, “I just... I want to take care of you.” 

Richie laughed softly. “Don’t be sad. I’m not hurt anymore.” 

“Still, you do so much for me,” Eddie said, “You’ve done so much for me even just today. You always do so much for me. I want to do something for you.” 

“You don’t have to,” Richie said, “I’m happy.” 

“Please let me do something for you,” Eddie said, and then he looked back out at the city, quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “I could do something tonight.” 

“Do what tonight?” Richie asked. 

“Well,” Eddie said, looking to the other side of him nervously. “Do you want to bottom?” 

“What?” Richie laughed, caught a bit off guard. 

Eddie laughed too. “That way I could, um, take care of you. Make you feel good. You wouldn’t have to do any work.” 

“Hmm,” Richie said, “I was always curious about how it would feel. I think I’d be okay with that.” 

“Are you okay with that, or do you want it?” Eddie asked, “It’s only for if you actually want it. It’s for you, you know.” 

“Okay,” Richie said. “Yes. I want it.” 

“Mkay,” Eddie said, “We could sit here for a bit longer and then get home.” 

“Sounds good,” Richie nodded, resting his chin on top of Eddie’s head. 

They sat there for a while longer, enjoying the view and the warmth of each other, and then they both decided that it was time to go. 

The drive home was far more serene than the ride there, and Eddie was looking at Richie in the driver’s seat instead of at the city. He liked the view more. 

He figured Richie wouldn’t notice with his eyes fixed on the road. But he did. 

He just chose not to say anything. 

Once they arrived home, Eddie was relieved to walk into the dorm, throwing the jacket off and appreciating the warmth. The walk from the parking lot to the dorms was far too cold for his liking. 

“So,” Richie said, “Do you want to do that now, or-” 

Eddie stepped forward and held Richie’s cheeks, pressing his lips to his softly. Richie quickly kissed him back, resting his hands on his hips. Eddie pushed Richie’s hair out of his eyes, and to make up for the softness he kissed him harder, licking over his bottom lip.

Richie whimpered softly, his grip on Eddie’s hips tightening as he kissed him deeper. 

They made out for some moments more before Eddie led him to the bed, pushing him carefully down against the mattress and crawling on top of him. 

“Now, just relax, okay? Let me take care of you,” Eddie whispered. 

“Okay,” Richie whispered back.

Eddie continued to kiss him, moving his face down to kiss his neck. Richie held Eddie tightly, squeezing harder when Eddie sucked and bit his neck, kissing over the marks after. 

Eddie pulled Richie’s shirt off, running his hand down his chest before he bit onto his collarbone, sucking against it and pulling off to take off his own shirt. He went back to kissing all over his chest, moving his hand to rub over his clothed crotch. 

“Mm,” Richie hummed, rubbing up Eddie’s back. 

“Feel good?” Eddie whispered, stroking him more and kissing over his stomach. 

“Yeah,” Richie answered, “Always make me feel good.” 

Eddie crawled back up to him, laying on him and kissing him as he started to grind, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths. 

Eddie kept grinding, kissing Richie as deeply as he could while he pressed against him. When he felt hard enough, he reached down, lightly squeezing Richie over his pants. 

“Yeah,” Richie resting his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck, “Touch me.” 

Eddie kissed him again and unbuckled his pants, pulling them down and throwing them to the other side of the room. He pulled his own pants off, kicking them to the side and crawling up to reach the nightstand. 

He grabbed the lube and a condom, sitting it beside him gently and settling himself between Richie’s legs. 

Eddie pulled Richie’s underwear off, leaning down and kissing the tip before resting his cheek on his thigh. “You want this?” 

“Fuck, yeah, I want it,” Richie stroked Eddie’s cheek. 

Eddie smirked and picked his head up, looking into Richie’s eyes as he took it into his mouth, sinking all the way down. 

Richie leaned his head back into the pillow and held onto Eddie’s hair, gripping it tightly as Eddie began to move up and down. 

Eddie kept a steady pace, pushing his thumb into Richie’s thigh as he bobbed his head, and after a few moments he pulled off, making Richie whine. 

“I’m gonna prep you, okay?” Eddie told him, “But I’ll keep sucking you off. It’ll help relax you.” 

“Ah, okay,” Richie replied. 

Eddie moved back a little and poured lube over his fingers, tossing the bottle to the side and pushing Richie’s thigh to spread more, carefully pushing one finger against his entrance. “Ready?” 

Richie nodded, biting his lip and pushing his elbows into the sheets. 

Eddie pushed it in and Richie tensed for a minute, clenching his teeth as he felt it go all the way in. Eddie put his mouth back on him, sucking the head and then taking him down his throat, moving his finger slowly before pulling it in and out. 

It didn’t take long for Richie to become a mess, pulling onto Eddie’s hair. He was getting used to the finger and the burn was starting to go away. “I-I can take another one.” 

Eddie pushed in a second finger, giving him a second to get used to the stretch before pushing both together, scissoring them open. 

“Fuck,” Richie moaned, “Mm, so good.” 

Eddie sucked him more while his fingers fucked him, and Richie was getting more and more lost in his bliss. He had done this to himself before, but it wasn’t the same as someone else doing it. Wasn’t the same as Eddie doing it. 

Eddie pulled his mouth off, looking up at Richie while he pushed his fingers harder. “Can you take one more?” 

“Yeah, fuck, please,” Richie whined, “Need more.” 

Eddie pushed his third finger in and after a moment crooked them up, feeling around for that spot until- 

“Ah!” Richie slammed his head against the pillow. “Fuck,  _ fuck _ ! Right there,  _ right there _ .” 

Eddie rubbed the spot more and more until Richie was a whimpering mess, and when he felt he was satisfied he pulled them out, making Richie exhale at the emptiness. 

“You wanna get fucked now?” Eddie asked, biting his thigh. 

“Mm, yeah, fuck me,” Richie pleaded, “Need it. Please.” 

Eddie pulled off his own underwear and put the condom on, applying lube to it. “This is my first time topping, too. It’s new for both of us.” 

“‘M ready,” Richie whispered as Eddie crawled up and settled at his entrance. “Know it’ll feel so good.” 

Eddie kissed him softly and very slowly pushed in, careful not to hurt him. Richie’s nails pushed into Eddie’s back, biting onto his shoulder. Once he bottomed out, Eddie stopped to catch his breath. He felt overwhelmed by the feeling, so fucking tight, and he wanted so desperately to fuck him, but he needed to give him time to adjust. So he stayed still, picking up his face and watching Richie. 

“So much,” Richie said, “It’s so much.” 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, ‘M okay,” Richie slurred, “Can move now.” 

“You sure?” Eddie asked. 

“Yeah, fuck. Please fuck me,” Richie answered. 

Eddie carefully pulled out, rubbing his thumb over Richie’s lip and pushing back in. 

Richie moaned and Eddie moaned with him, so relieved to be able to move, and he pushed Richie’s hair behind his ear, moving his lips by his ear. 

“Let me make you feel good,” Eddie whispered. 

Richie nodded slowly, breathing harshly from feeling so full, and Eddie thrusted again. He started to fuck him at a pace now, thrusting in and out comfortably. 

Richie was moaning and whining as Eddie’s pace slowly got faster, digging his nails sharply into his back. Eddie had his eyes scrunched closed, getting lost in the feeling of being inside him, fucking him harder and harder. 

“Eddie,” Richie cried, “P-Please touch me.” 

Eddie kissed him and moved his hand to wrap around his cock, jerking it quickly while he fucked him as fast as he could. 

“‘M close,” Richie said, a tear falling out of his eye. 

“Come on, Rich. Cum,” Eddie told him, jerking him faster. 

It took seconds for Richie to spill over his stomach, and Eddie came with him, pushing his face into Richie’s shoulder as he rode it out. 

He laid on Richie for a few moments, both of them catching their breath before he pulled out slowly, throwing the condom away and collapsing next to him. 

Eddie smiled fondly, rubbing his thumb against Richie’s cheek. “Did so good for me. You’re so good.” 

Richie blinked, kissing Eddie’s hand. “Really?” 

“Yes,” Eddie told him, “You’re perfect.” 

Richie looked at him, and he felt like he was going to cry. Eddie kissed his forehead, and he had never felt more loved in his life. 

“Thank you,” Richie said, “For wanting to do that for me.” 

“Of course,” Eddie answered, “You’re my best friend.” 

Richie froze, his eyes drifting to the wall and his face falling. Suddenly, the bliss he was in turned static. 

_ Best friend. _

“Hey,” Eddie tapped him, “You okay?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Richie answered, “I’m gonna take a shower.” 

“Okay,” Eddie said, and Richie scrambled up to get to the bathroom. 

He turned the water to boiling hot and stepped inside, leaning against the shower wall and letting the water pour over him. His day was so perfect. The whole entire day was  _ so  _ perfect. Why was he so sad? He shouldn’t be sad. There was no reason for him to be sad. 

But he had looked at Eddie all day, and he thought looking at his smile was more beautiful than looking out at the galaxy, and he made him feel so loved. He made him feel loved. He loved him.

But Eddie couldn’t love him back, in that way. It may feel like it, but he didn’t. 

He was his best friend. 

He began to cry, just softly enough that Eddie couldn’t hear him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have to appreciate bottom Richie sometimes it's not a common occurence


	7. seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter but here it is!

Beverly Marsh lived her life as a series of extraordinary ideas. 

She spent childhood preparing fashion shows and high school applying to cosmetology school and all the other breakthroughs that hit her some point in the middle of the night throughout time, and she did have the right to say she’s never made an absolutely horrible decision. She acted fast and didn’t think a lot and someone might call her crazy for that, but it always did work out. 

Stan and Richie always trusted her ideas. Her plans had always made things better, whether that was relieving or exhilarating, and it could be assumed that she was always going to fix things. 

So Bev was laying in bed watching the next best reality show around 2 a.m. when a great thought occurred to her. 

She smirked and kicked her legs over, turning for her phone and dialing Stan. 

“Hello?” Stan asked in a sleepy voice, “Are you okay?” 

“More than okay, my friend,” she answered chipperly. 

“Then I’m hanging up. You can tell me this tomorrow when it’s not two in the fucking morning,” Stan groaned. 

“No, wait!” she said, “I just got a great idea and I need to tell you now. I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.” 

“A great idea, huh?” Stan sighed, “Alright. What is it?” 

“So, tell me,” she told him, “What’s the best date idea? For early on in a relationship?” 

“Are you finally asking Ben out?” Stan asked. “Call Richie then. I’m sure he’s awake and would be happy to help.”

“No, no,” she said, “I cannot call Richie because this is for Richie.” 

“Part of the set up plan?” Stan said, “Okay, fine. What’s your date idea?” 

“The amusement park tickets are on sale right now,” Bev said, “How fucking cute is that? Listen, hear me out. The games. The rides. The vibes are immaculate.There’s no way they would spend the day together there and not fall in love.” 

“I suppose so,” Stan answered, “Are you asking me to pay for it?” 

“No,” she laughed, “They’re on sale so I got it. But I don’t want to tell Richie I bought it. I’m going to tell him I won them at a radio show and none of us can go, alright?” 

“Alright,” Stan said, “But I feel kind of bad lying to him. We never lie to each other.” 

“It doesn’t count as lying. It’s not malicious. It’s us helping him out in the biggest of ways. He’ll thank us eternally later,” she said. 

“Ugh. I guess you’re right,” Stan sighed, “When are you getting them? Tomorrow?” 

“Yes! I want them to be able to go on Halloween. My birthday is coming up next month, and they better be together by then,” she said. 

“Don’t get your hopes up. Eddie is pretty rigid,” Stan said, “But I hope so too. Honestly.” 

“Stay optimistic, Stanley,” she told him, “Of course Eddie will come around. I’m giving him the help of my great ideas. 

“Yeah. Of course. Is that all you had to tell me? I have a math class early tomorrow,” Stan yawned. 

“Yeah, that’s it. Sorry for waking you, you just absolutely had to know,” she said. 

“Mhm. I absolutely did. Goodnight Beverly,” Stan said, hanging up the phone. 

Bev put her phone down and tucked herself further into the blanket, smiling and turning around to see a photo of her and Richie on her nightstand. He was smiling, as he always was, but there was a dullness in his eyes. An absence. Lately, that void had been whole. He’d been glowing. 

She wanted Richie to be happy. He deserved it so much. And she would make sure that he would be. 

The next day, Richie was on the couch with his legs kicked over the table watching Pokemon episodes that aired back when he was a child. The nostalgia was comfortable, and Eddie was in class, so he wasn’t there to scold him about kicking his legs onto the table. 

He stuffed another Dorito into his mouth when his phone buzzed. 

**Bev:** _ I’ll be there in five mins. Got a surprise for you.  _

Richie raised his eyebrow. 

**Richie:** _ Surprise, huh? I’ll be waiting my dear.  _

By the time he had finished the Dorito bag, Bev welcomed herself in, throwing her bag over and leaping onto the couch beside him. 

“Hey!” she greeted, “Watching the throwbacks, I see?” 

“It was a throwback kind of day,” Richie answered, “What brings you here today?”

“Besides seeing you, the love of my life,” she winked, “I got something for you!” 

“Got something for me?” Richie asked, “But it’s your birthday coming up! I’m the one that’s supposed to be shopping.” 

“And I’m sure you’ll buy something obscure and fabulous, but that’s for next month. For now, I have this,” she grabbed her bag and pulled out the tickets, placing them in his palm. 

“Whoa,” Richie looked at them, “We’re going to the amusement park?” 

“Well, I won them on the radio, but both me and Stan can’t make it that day. So I was thinking you and Eddie could go for Halloween!” she smiled. 

“You’re just giving them to us? For free?” Richie asked. 

“Yep! All free. You two have a great time next weekend,” she said. 

“Thanks, Bevvie!” Richie beamed, “I can’t wait to tell Eddie! He’ll be stoked. Damn, I haven’t been to that place in years.” 

“I haven’t either. We’ll plan a group thing for next time,” Bev said, “For now? Perfect date night for you.” 

“Date night?” Richie questioned. 

“I’ve been seeing you guys lately, you know. You don’t think Eddie will give it up soon and ask to date? I can see it,” she said. 

“I don’t know,” Richie sighed, “You really think so?” 

“I do,” she patted his thigh, “Just keep him close. He’s going to come around soon.” 

“He called me his best friend last week, after we had a pretty intimate moment. Pretty intimate day, actually,” Richie said, “I don’t think he wants more than what we already have.” 

“Of course he’s going to say that. He’s scared,” she said, “He just needs a little push. A perfect moment with you. He just needs a lot of patience.” 

“I know, and I’m being patient,” Richie replied, “I just...I’m scared too. I don’t want to go too far and push him away.” 

“I don’t think you could ever do that,” Bev said, “Whether he has romantic feelings or not, he loves you so much. No matter what happens, you’ll have him by your side.” 

Just before Richie could answer the door knob turned, and he tensed as if their conversation could be heard. But when Eddie walked through the door, he seemed completely oblivious, only a bit fatigued from anatomy class. 

“God, Richie! Get your feet off the table! That’s disgusting!” Eddie scolded, walking over to the couch and playfully slapping Richie’s shoulder. “Hey Bev.” 

“Hey,” Bev hugged him, “How was class?” 

“It’s a never ending nightmare,” Eddie said, putting his bag onto his side of the room and then jumping on the couch next to Richie. “What are you guys up to? Watching Pokemon?” 

“I was sitting here watching Pokemon and practicing my bad manners when Bev came here and brought us these!” Richie showed Eddie the tickets. 

“The amusement park?” Eddie said, “I’ve never been there.” 

“I won them on the radio, and me and Stan can’t make it,” Bev explained, “So you two are going.” 

“Really?” Eddie asked, “Cool! Thanks Bev!” 

“No problem, really,” Bev said, “I’m excited for the pictures.” 

“Me too,” Eddie scooted up, linking his arm with Richie’s and resting his chin on his shoulder. 

Richie blushed, resting his cheek against Eddie’s hair. “You gonna stay for a while Bev? We can go to the pizza place for dinner.” 

“I think I will,” Bev leaned on Richie’s other shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck. “Let’s watch the next episode, yeah?” 

The following week consisted fully of studying for midterms, so no one really had time for anything fun. But the last Thursday of October was the last midterm on the list, so Halloween weekend was finally free. 

Eddie woke up a little late on Halloween morning, finally destressing from the midterms of the week. He tucked his blanket over his face and tried to stay asleep for a good five minutes before he gave up and kicked the blanket off. 

The dorm was decoratied in Halloween decorations from the dollar store that Richie had picked up, a poorly carved pumpkin sitting by the door. Richie was a very festive person, and he would not let a holiday pass without the best under $5 decor. 

Richie’s bed was empty and unmade, and Eddie rolled his eyes as he stumbled out of his own. As tempting as it was to fix the bed, Richie needed to learn to do it himself. 

After making his own bed, Eddie walked into the kitchen, but Richie was nowhere in sight. 

“Rich?” he called out, “Where’d you go?” 

The bathroom door was open and Richie’s keys still hung by the door. Eddie raised an eyebrow, trying to call him again. “Richie?” 

Silence. 

Eddie sighed and walked into the hall, the last place there was left to check. As soon as he turned the corner, a hooded figure in a mask jumped out in front of him. 

“Fuck!” Eddie jumped, stumbling back and falling onto the carpet. “What the fuck?” 

Richie laughed and leaned against the wall, pulling the mask off. “Happy Halloween Eds!” 

“Fuck you,” Eddie crossed his arms, “You scared me! What if I socked you in the face? Or had a heart attack?” 

“C’mon,” Richie grabbed Eddie’s arm and helped pull him up, “Where’s the holiday spirit?” 

“Fine,” Eddie pouted, “Just not so early in the morning.” 

“It’s past 12!” Richie laughed. 

“Early in the fuckiing morning for the end of midterms week!” Eddie exclaimed. 

“Alright, that’s fair,” Richie patted his shoulder, “Let’s get some fast food brunch, shall we? We’ve got a fun day ahead of us.” 

Eddie surrendered with a smile, lightly nudging Richie out of the way to get to the bathroom. He almost kissed his cheek as he passed. 

But he didn’t. 

Soon enough, it was almost evening and Richie was in a Friday the 13th t-shirt and was beaming as he stood by the door, while Eddie came out in an autumn orange sweater. 

“C’mon, Rich,” Eddie grabbed his bag, “Let’s go get spooked.” 

Richie played a Halloween soundtrack playlist as they drove, steering with one hand and singing along. Eddie gazed out the window contently, and he could catch himself singing along as well. 

Finding parking at the amusement park was a bitch, and they ended up finally finding a spot quite far from the start of the lot. 

“Great, we have to walk a whole trek!” Eddie complained, “My feet are gonna hurt by the end of the day, too.” 

“Fear not, Eds. I’ll carry you,” Richie winked, and Eddie rolled his eyes. He wasn’t too put off by the idea, though. Not that he’d ever admit that. 

“I’ve never been to a haunted thing,” Eddie said, “What if I get too scared?” 

Richie smiled at him. “You won’t get too scared. I’ve got you.” 

As they presented their tickets and walked in, Richie locked his arm with Eddie’s. Eddie couldn’t help but lean into it. 

With Jacob, he had never been on a date. He wasn’t a fan of the idea, never invested in romance. Now, as he leaned into Richie’s side while they walked into a haunted amusement park, he wondered if this is what it felt like. 

He shook his head at the thought, slightly leaning away. This was not a date. He had to remind himself of that. This is not a date, this is not romantic, this is hanging out with his best friend. 

He had to keep telling himself that over and over, but it sure did feel like it. He sure did want it to be. 

That thought scared him even more. He shouldn’t want this to be a date. He shouldn’t want to date. That would go against everything he promised himself. That would make him be at risk to hurt. He shouldn’t want that at all. 

Just as he was getting too lost in his thoughts, Richie spoke. 

“What do you want to do first? There’s rides, and games, and mazes. All that cool stuff,” he said. 

“Hmm, maybe a small ride to start off. Games sound cool too. It needs to be darker for mazes,” Eddie replied. 

“Totally true. C’mon, we can go on the spinning hats,” Richie offered. 

Once they had got on the ride, Eddie sat across from Richie, both of their hands on the disk that they would spin to move their hat. One of Richie’s fingers was touching Eddie’s, and he didn’t want to move it. 

They ended up spinning as fast as they could, because it turned out Richie is very good with his hands (not that Eddie didn’t know that already.) Eddie gave up on his part of the work, leaning back and closing his eyes as he laughed. 

“Damn, I’m gonna fucking puke,” Richie said as the ride stopped. 

“Hey! You were the one that wanted to spin that fast! Don’t puke on me, or I’m leaving,” Eddie said. 

“I’ll try my best,” Richie said, “Wouldn’t wanna get it on your fancy sweater there.” 

“Fancy sweater? It was like twenty bucks,” Eddie laughed. 

“There’s a drop tower over there. Shall we check it out next?” Richie asked. 

“Sounds good,” Eddie answered, and Richie locked their arms together again. 

They spent a few hours going on assorted rides, and Eddie hadn’t had this much fun in quite a long time. He was feeling the wind against his face on each ride and laughing as his stomach dropped, and he would look over to Richie, who had the brightest smile on his face he had ever seen. He could look forever, he believed. 

But he shouldn’t. So he looked away. 

The night started to get darker, and there were people dressed as monsters walking around the park. They had tried to startle them a few times, but Richie would try his best to scare them back. 

“Hey! I love that game,” Richie pointed to a ring tossing game. “Think I could win you a prize?” 

“I’m sure you could,” Eddie told him, “I always trust your wrist’s abilities.” 

“Damn right you do,” Richie winked, and before Eddie could roll his eyes Richie had grasped his hand and was pulling him along to the game. 

“Wish me luck, will you?” Richie turned to him as he grabbed the first ring. 

“Best of luck to you,” Eddie crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the game tent. 

Just as he expected, Richie got all of the rings to their place. 

“We’ve got a winner!” the worker announced, “Pick your prize, sir.” 

“Hell yeah!” Richie cheered, “Come on Eds. Pick a bear.” 

Eddie walked closer, contemplating. “The blue bear over there.” 

The worker smiled and handed Richie the bear, which he pushed into Eddie’s arms. “Like it?” 

“It’s adorable,” Eddie laughed, “Thanks Rich.” 

“Thanks for playing,” the worker told them, “You guys are a cute couple.” 

“Oh, we’re not a couple,” Eddie said immediately, a little too fast. The worker nodded and awkwardly moved on to the next person in line. 

“Yeah,” Richie said, but his face had fallen, “Let’s go.” 

Richie was quiet for a little as they walked, and Eddie was starting to get nervous. He was just telling the truth, wasn’t he? Did Richie… 

“Let’s go on a maze,” Richie said, trying to fake energy back. “There’s a cool zombie one.” 

Eddie let out a sigh of relief at Richie’s words. “Zombies, huh? Let’s go.” 

As they started to go through mazes, Richie started to return to his normal self, trying to predict where a monster would pop out and scare them back. Eddie was laughing, and Richie had a smile of pride on his face every time he heard it. 

The night was coming to an end, and they had gotten to most of the mazes and rides. Eddie had forgotten about the game incident even though he still had the bear in his hands, and he thought that Richie had too. 

“Did you have fun?” Richie asked. 

“God, Rich. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” Eddie smiled, “You always make everything fun.” 

Richie laughed. “I’m glad I could be of service.” 

“Wait, there’s one more thing to do,” Eddie said, “The ferris wheel.” 

Richie nodded, hesitating before speaking. “Sure thing.” 

When they got into the wheel, Richie was gripping the safety bar a little too hard. 

“You okay?” Eddie asked him. 

“Me? Oh, yeah! Absolutely thrilled,” Richie answered. 

“Okay,” Eddie said, “Just making sure.” 

Richie didn’t talk for a moment as the ferris wheel moved, his leg bouncing and his grip tightening, until they got to the top and stopped there. 

“Alright, you look like a walking anxiety attack,” Eddie said, “What’s wrong?” 

“Well,” Richie started, “On the drop tower, we get to the top and just fall straight down. I could close my eyes until then. But the ferris wheel just stops all the way up here, and the seat is creaky, and I get a little, um…” 

“Scared?” Eddie asked. 

Richie nodded. “Embarrassing, I know.” 

“Rich,” Eddie sighed, “Why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to go on.” 

“I don’t wanna seem like a wimp. You wanted to go on,” Richie answered. 

“You’re not a wimp,” Eddie assured, “Hey, it’s okay. I...I’ve got you.” 

Eddie scooted a little closer to Richie and rested his hand on his thigh, holding onto one of his fingers. Richie tensed as the seat began to creak, and Eddie took his whole hand, stroking his thumb over it. 

“It’s okay, Rich. It’s okay,” Eddie told him, stroking his hand gently. 

He looked up at Richie, and he still had nervousness in his eyes, but they were starting to calm as he squeezed onto Eddie’s hand. Eddie hated seeing him scared. He never wanted to see it again. He wanted to protect him from anything that would scare him. He wanted to make sure he’d always be happy and safe. 

In the moment of fondness, protectiveness and something that he couldn’t define, Eddie leaned in and kissed Richie’s forehead softly, resting his face on his shoulder. 

He stayed this way for the rest of the ride, closing his eyes and not letting any logical thoughts into his head. It was only about keeping Richie safe, taking care of him. 

But as soon as the ride ended and they stepped out, reality kicked in, 

_ Shit, shit, shit! _

He had kissed his forehead, a tender moment with absolutely no sexual intention. He had felt the urge to protect him, to comfort him, to love him. 

_ To love him.  _

_ He loved him.  _

Tears almost started welling in his eyes, walking slightly behind Richie so he wouldn’t see. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. He didn’t think things would turn out this way. But it had. He loved him, and there was no way to deny that. But that wouldn’t end well. He would get hurt, he would hurt Richie, what they have would be ruined. He was going to ruin it. There was no way out. 

Except, there was. 

“You okay?” Richie asked him as they walked towards the exit, “You’re being really quiet.” 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Eddie said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. “I’m just very tired.” 

“Need me to carry you?” Richie joked, but it striked nerves through Eddie. 

“I’m okay,” he replied back, but there wasn’t humor in his voice. 

Richie didn’t acknowledge that. 

There was only one way to stop this before it was too late, before it was too deep, before there was no way out. 

He didn’t want to deal with it now. They had such a good day, and he wouldn’t ruin that for the world. He didn’t know when he was going to deal with it, really - it seemed so hard. But it was going to come out eventually. He could only hide from it for so long. 

He was going to have to tell Richie that their arrangement had to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllll we're getting to the angst now


	8. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for this one lol   
> but just wanted to let you guys know your comments always make my day!

The week following the night at the amusement park was mundane, but not extremely out of the ordinary. Eddie had a lot of homework that week, so it gave him an excuse to not be his usual self. He still ate with Richie, they watched TV a few times, and Richie didn’t seem to pick up on anything going on with Eddie. He had made excuses to get out of anything sexual, saying he was too tired from all the homework, and of course Richie never pushed. 

Every morning, Eddie woke up and wondered if today would be the day. The day that he’d sit Richie down and have that impossible conversation. He stayed up at night trying to piece together how it would happen. What he’d say, how Richie might react. He had come up with several hypothetical situations of Richie’s reactions, and he constructed his words based on what would prevent each bad reaction he could think of. He thought of his words carefully, making sure he wouldn’t say anything to make Richie feel bad about himself, making sure that what he says won’t hurt too bad. He had to make sure that they wouldn’t be ruined. He was in love with Richie and he was working his way to stopping that, starting with planning how to end their arrangement, but he didn’t know what he would do without Richie as a best friend. He couldn’t afford to lose him as a person in his life. He couldn’t. 

So every night that week, he put more detail in his words in his mind, making sure he could perfectly craft how to tell Richie without ruining them before he did it. He didn’t think he could ever perfect it. To be honest, he was quite terrified of how it would go down. He couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Richie. Every night, after planning, he quietly cried himself to sleep. 

But it had to be done. It had to. This whole thing had blown up, gotten out of control. He should’ve known friends with benefits would be a bad idea. But he truly believed he could do it without catching feelings. He truly believed it would make him happy. But now, he’s accidentally fallen in love and he’s crying himself to sleep every night for a week figuring out what would be the easiest way to break his heart. 

He had been so preoccupied in that whole mess that he totally forgot about something important. 

“All that homework, you probably haven’t had time to go to the store, huh?” Richie asked him on Friday afternoon, “We could go right now if you want. I already picked some stuff up for her.” 

“What?” Eddie asked. 

“You know, for Bev’s present,” Richie continued, “The party’s tomorrow, Eds.” 

“Fuck! Right!” Eddie cursed himself, “Oh my god. The homework’s been so crazy that I forgot about her birthday.” 

Richie laughed, walking closer and leaning his arm on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie almost winced, but not quite. “It’s all good,” he said. “We could head there now, if you want. Pick something out.” 

“Sounds good,” Eddie replied, and exhaled when Richie walked away from him. 

On the contrary, Richie had been in an extra good mood that week. He was smiling more, singing and dancing by himself as he cooked every meal, playing more happy music around the house rather than alternative. Richie and Eddie weren’t as together as they had been before, but Eddie’s homework was an excuse and Richie believed it. He didn’t question a thing, living in ignorant bliss. 

“Come on, Eddie darling!” Richie chipperly grabbed Eddie’s arm and pulled him along out the door, “Where shall we be shopping today?” 

“What do you think she’d like? I’m shitty with makeup and clothes,” Eddie said. 

“You could look around, I’m sure you’ll find something sexy. How about lingerie? You could even text Ben for approval!” Richie said. 

“Shut up. You’re such an asshole,” Eddie shook his head, but he was smiling. No matter how many internal battles he was having about him, Richie always made Eddie smile. “But seriously. I have no idea.” 

“We’ll look around,” Richie winked, opening the car door for him. 

Once they arrived at the store, Eddie still had no idea. The clothes at Target would not do Bev and her unique fashion justice, and he would rather die than buy her lingerie, despite Richie’s pesty suggestions. 

He walked down the aisle beside Richie, looking down each row without anything catching his eye. He was just about to give up and buy a gift card when Richie gasped and yanked him down an aisle. 

“Jesus!” Eddie nearly tripped, “What was that about?” 

“Look at these!” Richie turned to the stuffed animals at the wall, “They’re so fat!” 

Eddie smiled and shook his head. “You can pick one up on the way out.” 

“No, for Bev!” Richie said, “Fun fact of the day, miss Beverly adores fat animals. It’d be perfect.” 

Eddie laughed, coming closer and picking out an obese tiger. “Would this do the trick?” 

“Oh, god. She’ll be in love,” Richie nodded, patting the tiger’s head. 

“Alright then, we’ve got a winner,” Eddie squeezed the tiger, “What did you get her?” 

“A dildo,” Richie said, “We have a competition where we get each other a bigger one every year.” 

Eddie pushed his shoulder. “No, seriously.” 

“Do you think I lie?” Richie said, “I’m being deadass. I have two from my last two birthdays, wanna see them when we get home?” 

“Oh my fucking god,” Eddie smacked Richie’s arm, “No, I do not want to see it! Jesus Christ. Have you ever....you know what? Nevermind. Forget I asked.” 

Richie laughed, grabbing Eddie’s arm and skipping down the aisle. “I’ll get one for yours too.” 

“I’ll pass,” Eddie laughed, skipping along the aisle until they reached the cashier. 

Once they got home, Richie brought out a gift bag for Eddie to use and wrapped his own with direct paper so everyone could see exactly what it is without opening it. 

“Beautiful,” Eddie rolled his eyes as Richie put a bow on his present. 

“She sure is,” Richie tapped it and brought the gift to the table so he wouldn’t forget it. “Yours all done?” 

“Now it is,” Eddie made sure the bow was straight and handed it to Richie. He put it on the table and offered Eddie his hand.

“Thanks,” Eddie told him, taking Richie’s hand to pull him up. 

“Hey, uh, do you want to watch a movie with me? Before we go to bed,” Richie asked, “You could pick.” 

“Sure,” Eddie answered, jumping onto the couch. “Maybe a Marvel movie?” 

“Which one? Do we want to go through the emotional labor of Endgame right now?” Richie sat beside him. 

“Definitely not. Thor Ragnarok is better for the night before a party, right?” Eddie replied. 

“Your mind is so powerful,” Richie nodded, turning on the TV and getting everything ready. Eddie leaned back against the pillow to make himself comfortable, and once the movie started Richie rested his head on Eddie’s lap. 

Eddie froze up for a minute. Richie often laid like this when they watched movies, and Eddie would softly run his fingers through his hair until he drifted off. But Eddie kept his hands at his sides, and he was going to keep them there. It had to stop. He hadn’t told Richie yet, but he couldn’t continue leading him on. 

Eddie didn’t know if Richie noticed or not. He didn’t say anything. 

Richie seemed to be enjoying the movie, but Eddie couldn’t focus on it with the warmth of Richie on his lap. He was too busy trying not to cry. 

“You okay Eds?” Richie said half way into the movie, his voice sleepy. 

“Yes,” Eddie answered. 

“I don’t believe you,” Richie said, “You’re all tense.” 

Eddie sighed. “I’m just thinking a lot, that’s all.” 

“Of what?” Richie asked. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Eddie told him, “I’m okay, I promise you.” 

“You don’t have to hide anything from me, you know,” Richie said. 

This would’ve been the perfect time to have the conversation. They were comfortable, Richie knew something was wrong, and Eddie had done quite the amount of thinking. But tomorrow was Bev’s birthday party. If anything was awkward between them, or if Richie gets sad, it could ruin the party for all of them. 

So he couldn’t. 

“I know Rich,” Eddie said, “And I’ll always tell you the truth, but I think this has to wait a minute. I...I have some things to tell you. It’s just not the right moment right now. Is that okay?” 

“Yeah, that’s okay,” Richie answered, “Some things to tell me?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “But don’t stress about it, okay? Everything’s all good.” 

“You sure?’ Richie asked. 

Hesitantly, Eddie brushed his hand through Richie’s hair one time, just to comfort him. “Yes. I promise.” 

“Okay,” Richie said, “As long as you’re okay.” 

“Mhm,” Eddie leaned even more back against the pillow and shut his eyes. It already hurt so bad. 

But tomorrow’s Bev’s birthday party. He can’t ruin it. 

So, he opened his eyes, and enjoyed the rest of the movie. 

The morning was like all the other mornings of event days - Eddie slept in and was woken up by Richie bouncing off the walls. One Direction was playing again and he was dancing around the kitchen, and as soon as Eddie sat up in bed, Richie pounced to sit on it. 

“Top of the mornin to ya, Eddie darling!” Richie grinned from ear to ear, kicking his leg over his lap. “You ready for McDonald’s pancakes?” 

Eddie stretched and yawned, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?” 

“Almost 11,” Richie said, “Thought I’d have to, dare I say it, wake you the hell up if it had been another ten minutes.” 

“Well, I appreciate that you didn’t,” Eddie laughed, lightly pushing Richie over so he could stand out of bed to go brush his teeth. “Wearing our pajamas, right?” 

“Damn right,” Richie winked, and Eddie shook his head fondly. 

He was going to try to forget about his situation for tonight. Tonight was a party, and for Bev’s birthday. He would worry about this whole thing tomorrow. 

But still, when they were in the car on the way to McDonald’s, Eddie was staring at the window. A few months ago, he was sitting in this same car in these same pajamas to go to McDonald’s pregame pancakes on the morning of that first party, and things were so different. Richie was new, everything was fresh, and he was so excited. Now, Richie was so familiar to him in the most comforting way, but it was tearing him apart. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when Richie put the car into park, startling a little. 

“C’mon,” Richie said, “The pancakes are waiting!” 

Eddie did have fun at McDonald’s, and the car ride home was a little easier. He couldn’t help but sing along to Richie’s songs and skip with him back to the dorm. Richie had that kind of impact on people. 

“Hey, I’m gonna go early to help Bev out with stuff,” Richie said, “You coming?” 

“How early are you going?” Eddie asked. 

“About an hour,” Richie said. 

“I need to finish up an assignment, so I’ll ride with Mike and Bill,” Eddie answered. 

“Alright. You sure?” Richie asked. 

“I’m sure,” Eddie told him, “I’ll be there when the party starts.” 

“Sounds good!” Richie ruffled Eddie’s hair and walked to the bathroom. 

An hour later, when Richie was ready to leave, Eddie couldn’t stop looking at him as he stood in the hallway. He was wearing the same shirt he wore to that party they went to on the first day they met. It felt like a lifetime ago. His hair was freshly blow dried and hanging over his cheek. It had gotten a little longer since the day he had met him. He looked so beautiful. 

“I’m gonna head out, Eddie darling,” Richie said, “You’re sure you're good?” 

“I’m sure,” Eddie answered, “Have fun. I’ll be there in a bit.” 

“See you soon,” Richie winked, and headed out the door.

As soon as he heard the door close, Eddie pushed his face into his hands. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to ruin this day. He wanted to be in a good mood so that Bev could have a good birthday. 

He didn’t want to cry. 

He didn’t want to. 

Shaking his head, he called Mike on the phone. 

_ “Eddie! What’s up man?”  _

“I’m coming over right now.” 

_ “You sure? The party isn’t until six.”  _

“Yeah, I’m gonna come now. Is that okay?” 

_ “Totally fine. See you soon.”  _

Eddie hung up, pushing his hands through his hair. 

_ “Come on, Eds,”  _ he told himself,  _ “Get your shit together.”  _

Trying to get back into party mode, Eddie put together an outfit he knew Bev would like. Black jeans and a cropped sweater. He dried his hair to give it extra volume and put a little glitter under his eyes. Bev would love it. 

Smiling weakly at himself in the mirror, Eddie turned the lights out and grabbed his bag and the present, locking the door behind him. 

He hadn’t driven his own car in a while. Everywhere he went was with Richie, and Richie loved to drive. He sighed, pushing the key in and starting his drive to his friends’ apartment.

Eddie walked up the apartment stairs at a quick pace, knocking carefully, waiting for the door to open. 

“Hey Ed-” 

Mike was cut off by Eddie pushing forward and jumping into his arms. Mike fell back a little, taken by surprise, but quickly returned the hug. Mike had the best hugs in the world, and Eddie needed one so bad. His arms were so big and welcoming, like everything would be okay. 

Mike pulled Eddie further into the apartment and closed the door, looking back to Bill in concern. 

“Eddie?” Bill placed his hand on Eddie’s back, “What’s wrong?” 

Eddie only tightened his grip on Mike. “I’m trying not to think about it. I don’t wanna talk about it, I don’t want to think about it, I don’t...I just needed a hug. Is that okay?”

Mike sighed. “Of course it’s okay.” 

Bill joined them, and Eddie allowed himself to be embraced by his friends for a moment. It didn’t make his mind clear, but it did make everything feel less heavy. 

After a few minutes, Eddie pulled back, walking himself over to the couch and pushing his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry about that, I don’t know why I...I just needed it.” 

“What’s going on?” Mike asked, “It’s just us. You can say anything.” 

“I seriously don’t want to talk about it. I just need to push it to the back of my mind so we could enjoy this party. I actually came here early so you guys could cheer me up and I’m not just sitting with my thoughts alone for hours.” 

“Is Richie okay? Is it about him?” Bill asked. 

Eddie tensed. “I don’t wanna talk about it.” 

“Okay, it’s okay, don’t push him Bill,” Mike said, “Have you eaten, Eddie?” 

“I ate breakfast,” Eddie sighed, “What do you guys got?” 

“Cereal and ramen. It’s all we can afford,” Bill said. 

Eddie laughed. “I won’t deprive you of your precious resources. I can wait for the party.” 

“What do you want to do, then?” Mike asked, “We can do anything that would distract you.” 

“How about this,” Eddie said, “We play some Smash and then I put glitter on you guys? Bev would be stoked.” 

“Glitter on us?” Bill laughed, “That’s crazy.” 

“I mean, I’m down,” Mike said, “It’d be fun.” 

“Yeah, come on Bill!” Eddie said, “Don’t be a party pooper.” 

“Fine, you can put glitter on me,” Bill sighed, “But no eyeshadow.” 

“Alright, Bill,” Eddie laughed, “No eyeshadow.” 

“You could try eyeshadow on me sometime. Sounds fun,” Mike said. 

“I’ll let Bev know. She’d do it a hell of a lot better than I can. Maybe we can do it tonight when we’re drunk,” Eddie said. 

“Maybe I’d let you put eyeshadow on me if I was drunk,” Bill said, “ _ Maybe.”  _

At the same time, Richie burst through the door of Bev’s aunt’s. 

“Bevvie! Stanny! I have arrived!” he screamed, dropping his bag by the door 

“Great,” Stan rolled his eyes, but still gave him a hug. 

“Richie!” Bev ran towards him, jumping into his arms. All of her makeup was done in a pink that matched her flowy dress and she wore a tiara on top of her curled hair. 

“My god, Miss Marsh! Looking fucking sexy!” Richie twirled her, “Just might turn me into a heterosexual.” 

“That would be a miracle,” Stan laughed, “Where’s Eddie?” 

“He had extra homework and couldn’t come early, so he’s coming with Bill and Mike,” Richie said, putting her down and grabbing her hands. “But speaking of Eddie!” 

“Yeah? Yeah?!” Bev’s eyes gleamed. 

“He has something to tell me, and I think I know what it is...but I’m not sure,” Richie said. 

“What do you think it is?” Stan asked. 

“I-I think he’s gonna ask me for something more. Like, to be with me. Officially. It’s just, at the amusement park he kissed my forehead and it wasn’t sexual and I’ve caught him looking at me more ever since then and he’s been acting really nervous and I think...well...what do you think?” 

“Oh my god!” Bev exclaimed, “He’s definitely going to ask you! I knew this day would come! Right Stan?” 

“It’s a possibility,” Stan said, “But be careful, Richie. Don’t get too excited and then be sad if it’s something else.” 

“Oh Stan, stop sucking the happiness out of everything,” Bev rolled her eyes, “He’s gonna ask, oh my god! Finally, finally! I’m so happy?” 

“You really think so?” Richie’s eyes shined. 

“I know it,” Bev said, “Now, let’s get this party ready! Try and get him to tell you tonight! It’s the perfect environment. 

Stan raised an eyebrow, following Bev and Richie into the other room with a little less excitement in his steps. He really hoped they’re not wrong about this. 

While they got the party ready, Richie went on and on about his plans once he and Eddie were a couple. All the dates he was going to bring him on, all the things he was going to get him. Bev was very actively feeding into it, completely convincing him that there’s absolutely nothing else Eddie could have to tell him. Stan didn’t say anything. 

Finally, six rolled around, and the party had officially begun. 

“Alright, bitches! Six o’ fucking clock! Let’s get it bumping!” Richie yelled, connecting his party playlist to the stereo. 

“No one’s even here, dumbass,” Stan got the tequila out, and he wasted no time making himself a drink. 

Just at that moment, Ben came through the door. 

“Benny boy!” Richie greeted, “Come look at miss Beverly here! Ain’t she the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen?” 

Bev blushed, “Knock it off, Richie.” She walked forward to hug Ben, taking the present from him. “Thank you for coming!” 

“Of course!” Ben said, and just a few minutes later Patty arrived. 

Twenty minutes into the party, there was still no sign of everyone else. Richie waited nervously by the door, his texts to Eddie asking where they are going unanswered. He refused to start shots without them, and Stan was getting annoyed. 

Finally, the door opened again, Bill bursting through. “Where’s the free food!” 

“Oh my fucking god!” Bev ran over, “You’ve got glitter on your eyes!” 

“Sorry, it made us late,” Mike said, “Eddie convinced us to do it.” 

“I don’t know how you make putting that shit on so easy, Bev!” Eddie said, “But we got it.” 

“You guys are so beautiful! Oh my god!” Bev cupped Eddie’s cheek, “Perfect idea. I’m in love with you.” 

Eddie laughed, handing her the gift bag. “Happy birthday, Bev!” 

Richie walked over, grabbing Eddie’s wrist. “Hey! Uh, I love it. The look. You look good.” 

Eddie smiled at him. “Thanks Rich.” 

“Now, can we finally fucking drink?” Stan whined. 

“Everyone eat first! I don’t want to have to clean any puke,” Bev said, “And then, shots away!” 

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Bill said, darting for the kitchen. 

It didn’t take long for the party to get in swing - Patty and Stan talking to Bill and Mike over mixed drinks, Ben learning how to dance with Bev and Richie. But Eddie sat alone at the kitchen table, and to his luck no one paid him any mind. He knew that at any minute, Richie would come in and pull him along to go have fun. And that’s what he should be doing - it was what he was planning on doing. But right now, the only thing he wanted to do was get fucking wasted. Maybe then he’d be able to lighten up. 

So he had a bottle of straight tequila next to him, taking a shot straight from the bottle every so often. 

“Shots!” Richie exclaimed, “Come on Bev, birthday girl! Come get one with me!” 

“Don’t mind if I do!” Bev smiled, walking to the kitchen. “Come on, guys! Group shot!” 

Everyone stood around the table, pouring themselves a shot. Eddie didn’t know how many shots he’d already had since he was drinking straight from the bottle, but he obviously couldn’t deny the group shot. Besides, he was still walking straight. He needed more. 

“Cheers to Bev’s old ass turning 20 years old!” Richie announced, and they all took the shot. 

“You’ll be 20 in a few months too, asshole,” Bev laughed, sucking on a lime. 

“Hey, Bev?” Ben asked, “Wanna come outside with me for a second?”

“Oh, yeah!” Bev replied, putting the lime down. 

“Wear protection, kiddos!” Richie said, and Bev flipped him off as they walked to the backyard. 

Now that he was alone, Richie came and sat next to Eddie. “How you doing, Eds?” 

“Not drunk enough,” Eddie laughed, taking another swig. 

“Jesus fuck, Eddie! Straight tequila?” Richie laughed, “I need some of that too.” 

Richie took the bottle from him and took a swig himself. “How much have you had?” 

“I have no fucking idea,” Eddie laughed, and he was pretty much drunk already. 

_ Not drunk enough.  _

“Guys, come do shots with us!” Bill called. 

“On our way!” Richie shouted back, turning to Eddie. “Can you even take another shot? Maybe you should wait a while. Drink some water.” 

“Fuck water,” Eddie said, “More shots.” 

“Alright, alright, but don’t throw up,” Richie said, grabbing his hand and leading him away from the kitchen. 

“Eddie, are you already drunk?” Mike asked. 

“Not drunk enough,” Eddie repeated, “Pass me one.” 

“I need to match him quick,” Richie said, “You too Stanny! Let’s get fucked up!” 

Soon enough, everyone besides Eddie was tipsy, and Eddie kept drinking more and more. He wouldn’t stop drinking, telling himself again and again  _ not drunk enough.  _ He wasn’t happy yet, so he must not be drunk enough. 

At that moment, Bev and Ben walked back inside. “Ladies and gentlemen! Listen up! I have an announcement!” 

“Our attention is yours,” Stan said. 

“Ben fucking Hanscom is now my official boyfriend!” 

Everyone cheered, Ben blushing and covering his face in shyness. Richie pretty much jumped at Bev, nearly tripping from his alcohol level, throwing his hands on her shoulders. 

“Fuck yeah! I knew it! I’m so happy for you Bevvie baby!” He hugged her. 

“You next,” she whispered to him. 

“Let’s take another shot. It is not okay for the birthday girl and the newlywed to be sober,” Richie said. 

“Fucking newlywed,” she shook her head and turned to Ben. “You down for more shots?” 

“I sure am,” Ben smiled, and everyone cheered again as they made their way to the alcohol table. 

After a few hours, it looked like Richie was the most drunk as he stumbled around and yelled every time he talked, but Eddie had never been this fucked up in his life. He was sitting at the table in silence, watching as his friends enjoyed themselves. He couldn’t drink anymore without killing himself - why wasn’t he happy like them. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said, but nobody heard him. He stumbled to the bathroom, closing the door behind him and sliding to the floor. 

He laid on the floor, his vision blurry as he stared up at the ceiling. His head was buzzing and his movements were heavy. All he could think about was Richie. He had to tell him. It had to end. He didn’t want it to end, he hated that so bad, but he needed it to end. This got too serious. This was going to get him hurt. This wasn’t safe. He had to do it, no matter how he would have to do it. 

After a while of laying on the bathroom floor with his drunk thoughts, he heard a knock on the door. 

“Eddie?” Mike said, “You okay in there?” 

“‘M fine,” Eddie replied. 

“Richie’s really drunk, man. He fell on the couch. Come get him, will you? I think he needs to lay down.” 

Eddie sighed. He struggled to stand up, his head fuzzy as he moved, but he found his way up and followed Mike out the door. 

“Eddie darling!” Richie exclaimed from the couch when Eddie walked in front of him. “I missed you so much. Where have you been?” 

“Come, Rich. You need to sleep,” Eddie told him, pulling him up. 

“Sleep? No, no sleep! Not until you tell me what you want to tell me!” Richie answered. 

Eddie tensed. “What?” 

“You have to tell me something, and I know what it is! Tell me now,” Richie continued. 

“What do you mean you know?” Eddie asked. 

“You’re going to ask me to be together, right? Isn’t that what you want? It makes sense, it made sense to me, so I know that’s what you’re going to ask,” Richie said. 

“What?” Eddie said again, his voice shaking. He told himself to run out now - run out, deal with this in the morning when they were sober. But he was too drunk to cry, and he already had tears in his eyes. It had to be now. There was no way out. 

“You’ll ask me to be together,” Richie repeated, “You wanna be together, right? That’s what-” 

“No,” Eddie said, his heart bumping out of his chest. “‘Not what I was gonna say.” 

“What?” Richie asked, “But I was so sure, you said that-” 

“Richie,” Eddie let go of him and did his best to stand up straight, “I was going to say we need to stop.” 

Everyone at the party was frozen now, watching with wide eyes, and Eddie wanted to run away. He didn’t want them watching. They shouldn’t be there. He shouldn’t do this when he’s drunk. He needed to leave. 

But he was too drunk to stop it. 

“W-What do you mean we have to stop?” Richie asked, “Stop what?” 

“You know what,” Eddie said, “Acting the way we do. Kissing, fucking. Even worse, acting like a couple. We’re too much like a couple now and it has to stop. So all of it has to stop. I’m sorry.” 

“But…” Richie was frozen now, almost like he was less drunk. “Why? W-Why does it have to stop?” 

“Because I can’t love anybody,” Eddie said, “I told you that. Why would I change?” 

“But Bev and Stan, they were saying-” 

“I’m sorry,” Stan interrupted, “Me and Bev were pushing it. I felt bad about it and we should’ve never done it. I’m sorry.” 

“You guys were…” Eddie turned to Bev, “Did you hang out with me because you want to be my friend or because you wanted to use me for your friend? What was that?”

“Eddie, no, it’s not like that,” Bev said, horror in her voice. 

“What was it like then?” Eddie asked. 

“Stan, Bev, why would you…” Richie asked. 

“I’m sorry, Richie,” Eddie turned back to him, “I just can’t.” 

“Look me in the eye, Eddie,” Richie said with an empty voice, “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.” 

Eddie tensed, looking Richie in the eyes. He had never seen Richie like this - broken. He wanted to take it away, wanted to take care of him. But he couldn’t do that, it had to stop. It was dangerous and out of control. 

_ Had to stop.  _

_ Whatever it takes.  _

“I don’t.” 

Richie nodded, biting his lip. Without another word, he darted for the bathroom and slammed the door closed. 

As soon as he heard the door slam, Eddie ran out to the front yard. As soon as he stumbled to the front he threw up all over the curb, and yes it was because he had drank way too much for his body size but also because he had never felt worse in his fucking life. Soon, he felt Mike’s hand on his shoulder, and he fell back and cried. Finally. But he didn’t just cry a little. He cried harder than he ever had in his life, coughing and sobbing, loud enough for the neighbors to look through the window. 

Bev and Stan had tried to go in the bathroom with Richie, but he had locked it and wouldn’t answer them no matter what. Ben and Patty stood awkwardly in the kitchen, and the music was still playing. 

Bev turned to Stan with tears in her eyes, and Stan sighed, pushing his hands into his hair. 

“God, what have we done?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was lowkey hard to write because I'm still sad about when I got dumped lol but yay i did it


	9. nine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger delay! x

One week had passed. 

Richie hadn’t seen much of Eddie since the party. By the time he had gotten home, Eddie had gathered some things and left a note saying he would be at Bill and Mike’s apartment for a few days.

It had been over a few days, and he hadn’t come back. 

Richie couldn’t decide yet whether or not he wanted him to. As the endless hours turned day into night, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to hear the door crack open or if he never wanted to see him again. It was beginning to be hard to want anything at all. 

He hadn’t spoken to Bev or Stan either. He didn’t know if he was mad at them, or if he missed them. It was beginning to be hard to decide anything about what he felt. 

He went to classes still, but he missed an assignment or two and kept forgetting to eat. Most of the week, he laid on his bed with his headphones on with no music playing and stared at the wall, waiting to see if he’d hear the door open. 

But it didn’t.

It was the weekend now, so with classes out of the way he had barely moved from bed, his hands slightly shaky from ignored hunger and black bags over his eyes. 

He had been told that first heartbreaks would be hard. He always knew that one day he’d fall in love and get his heart broken, and that it would hurt. It would hurt a lot. But Eddie was Richie’s silver lining, and he didn’t have the energy to try anymore. He didn’t have the energy to get out of bed in the morning and take his pills. 

Finally, on the seventh day of staring straight at the blank spot on the wall with not a word spoken, he started to feel something. 

He started to feel a bit afraid. 

He didn’t mean to not take his meds, he really didn’t. He didn’t want things to get bad, but he had just been so tired. Too tired to get up. 

But now, it was starting to scare him, just a little bit. Not enough to call the doctor, or his parents, or actually get up and do something about it. But just enough for him to call Stan. 

Stan happened to have been sitting in Bev’s room at the time, sitting in her rolling chair and pushing his hands into his face. 

“You still haven’t heard from him?” Bev sighed. 

“Well, I know he’s alive,” Stan said, “I saw him outside of his class.” 

“And you didn’t talk to him?” she asked. 

“What am I supposed to say, Bev?” Stan said, “We fucked up. I...I don’t even know what to say to him to try to make it right.” 

“Well, you could have asked if he was okay,” Bev said, “We told him we’re sorry. He knows we’re sorry. We just...we need to make sure he’s okay.” 

“I just feel like he needs some space, you know? If he wanted to talk to us, he would’ve responded to our texts. I don’t want to push him,” Stan said. 

“Well, what if we need to push him Stan?” Bev crossed her arms, “You and I both know what could happen, what he could-”

“I know!” Stan exclaimed, “I know. You don’t think he would...would he?” 

“I just can’t say for sure that he wouldn’t,” Bev said, “You can never be too safe. We need to constantly know how he’s doing.” 

“I just don’t want to make him more upset than he already is,” Stan told her, “I totally understand why he wouldn’t want to talk to us right now. I wouldn’t wanna talk to me right now. I just don’t want to be disrespectful, or push any boundaries. We’ve already pushed too many of those.” 

“Yeah,” Bev’s voice trailed, “But I don’t care that he’s mad at me. I need to make sure he’s okay.” 

“I’m sure he’s okay-” 

“How can you be sure, Stan? Hm? How can you be fucking sure, because I was sure he was okay at the beginning of the year and then you called me telling me you thought he was gonna fucking die.” 

“Bev,” Stan closed his eyes. 

“No,” she answered, “I’m not gonna walk around this. Richie almost died. Do you understand? We almost lost him, and that really wasn’t that long ago. Yes, you and I fucked up, and I wouldn’t blame him if he can’t forgive it, but literally none of that matters when it comes to his life. I don’t care about possibly breaking another boundary if it means I can make sure that he’s okay. I need to make sure that he’s okay, I need to know, I need to-” 

“Hey,” Stan stood out of the chair and crossed the room, pulling her to his chest. “Hey. It’s okay.” 

“What if it’s not?” a tear fell from her eye, “What if things aren’t okay and it’s all our fault? Fuck, not even yours. My fault. I didn’t mean to hurt him, I didn’t mean to-” 

In the middle of her sentence, Stan’s phone began to ring, and Richie’s face popped up on the screen. 

“Fuck,” Stan said, and both of them hurried back to the bed where his phone rest as he answered it, putting it on speaker. 

“Richie? Hey buddy. What’s up? Are you alright?” 

There was a pause before he answered. “Stan...hey. Um. I think I’m getting bad again.” 

“Are you safe?” Stan asked instantly. 

“I don’t know,” Richie said, “I don’t know anything, Stan. I don’t know if I miss him, or if I’m mad at him, or if I miss you, or if I’m mad at you. I don’t know, I don’t know. But I stopped taking my meds and I haven’t eaten or slept in a while. It’s getting bad.” 

“Where are you?” Stan asked. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Richie answered, “I don’t know why I called you. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do...I made Eddie leave, didn’t I?” 

“Richie, listen to me,” Bev said, “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you that.” 

“I did,” Richie said, “I went too far. He told me what he wanted, and I didn’t care. I tried for more and I made him leave. It’s my fault he left. I don’t think he’ll ever come back. I make people leave a lot.” 

“Well you’re not making us leave,” Bev said, “Where are you, Rich? We’re coming. I’m coming. Please, tell us where you are and we can figure this out. Are you home?” 

“Doesn’t matter,” he said again, “I made him leave. I did it. It’d be better for him if he didn’t have to see me anymore. But, hey. Bev. Stan. I...I don’t think I’m mad at you. I know you guys just wanted me to be happy. It’s just not supposed to be that way. I...I love you guys. Thanks, for listening. It’s okay. Don’t be worried about me, okay?” 

The line hung up. 

“He is not okay,” Bev said, instantly opening the Find My Friends app. “He’s at his dorm. We have to go!” 

“Wait,” Stan said. 

“Wait? What do you mean, wait? We don’t have time for this Stan, we gotta go-” 

“We have to call Eddie.” 

“What?!” Bev replied, “Stanley, why in the fuck would we-” 

“He has the key to the dorm. He’s the only one who can get in,” Stan said, “We have to tell him.” 

“Can’t we break the door down? I mean, what if he doesn’t wanna go? Can’t we-” 

“We can’t,” Stan interrupted, “We don’t have time, we just need a fucking key. We just need to call him, find out where he is and get the key. If he doesn’t answer, I’m sure Mike will. We don’t have time for this shit, like you said. Awkward situations don’t matter.” 

Bev nodded, shutting her eyes, pushing Stan’s phone toward him. 

Eddie, who also had barely moved from Bill and Mike’s couch, had never felt worse in his life. 

He had ditched class twice and hadn’t done a single assignment, and everytime Mike tried to put a movie on, it just made him feel worse. 

Eventually, Mike stopped. He still made sure Eddie ate and tried to help him do some schoolwork, but Eddie didn’t have much to say. 

Then, it was a week later, and Eddie was laying on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching the news. Mike turned off the TV, and before Eddie could protest, Bill jumped in front of him. 

“Talk,” Bill said. 

“What?” Eddie’s voice cracked from being silent so long, “Dude, I was watching that! What are you guys doing?” 

“Eddie, Bill and I thought we’d have a talk with you,” Mike sat beside him on the couch and rested a hand on his leg. 

“You need to go home,” Bill said. 

“Bill!” Mike slapped his arm. 

“Oh?” Eddie replied, “Have I overstepped my welcome?” 

“No, no, you’re always welcomed here,” Mike assured. 

“Bill doesn’t seem to agree,” Eddie said. 

“It’s not about that,” Bill sighed. “Eddie, come on. I’ve never seen you so fucked up in your life. You need to go back to Richie.” 

“Back to Richie?” Eddie asked, “I can’t look him in the eye, after what I did. How could I?” 

“Eddie,” Mike sighed, “Will you hear me out for a second?” 

Eddie sighed. “Sure.” 

“Alright,” Mike started, “I don’t think the problem is that you can’t date Richie. The problem is that you need to separate Richie from Jacob. Richie isn’t Jacob, Eddie. You can’t say you can’t love someone when you haven’t experienced real love. Jacob wasn’t love, okay? You deserve more than you’re letting yourself have. You deserve for someone to love you. You don’t have to be scared.” 

Eddie was silent for a minute, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them. “Jacob controlled me for so long. And, would you look at that? I’m still letting him do it, aren’t I?” 

“It’s not too late, Eddie,” Bill said, “Go home. Call Richie. You could fix it.” 

“After that?” Eddie said, “You were there, Bill. You saw what I did. I don’t deserve Richie in a million years. I could never take back what I did, I...I don’t think I can fix it. I don’t deserve it. I’m fucking disgusting.” 

“Hey,” Mike said, “Communication is everything, Eddie. You need to sit down with Richie and be honest with him. More important than that, be honest with yourself. Because you were lying to him at that party, and you and I both know that. You do love him. You need to tell him that you do love him, but you’re still trying to move on from the trauma of Jacob. He’ll understand.” 

“Fuck,” Eddie’s eyes started to water, “Fuck! God, I really did tell him I don’t love him, didn’t I? Jesus, Mike. Why the fuck did I do that? Why did I, how could I...How could I do that?” 

“It’s okay,” Bill started, “You can tell him you didn’t mean it-” 

“I’m so horrible, oh my god,” Eddie cried, “How could he forgive me, why should he, I...I’m so horrible, Bill. I don’t want to hurt him, I love him so much, I love him.” 

“Then you need to tell him that,” Bill said, “I know you think he doesn’t want to see you, but you need to go home and find out. You need to tell him the truth, Eddie. Seriously.” 

“I don’t know, guys,” Eddie said, “Deep down, I know you’re right. I know Richie isn’t Jacob and I’m not being fair to him or myself. I’m just...I’m just so scared. I’m so scared. It hurt so bad last time, I just didn’t want it to happen again.” 

“And what hurt more? Because I was there, and you were not as messed up as you are right now,” Bill told him. 

Eddie was silent for a moment longer. Bill was right. Nothing had ever hurt more than losing Richie. 

“I know,” he said. 

“So, you need to let your guard down,” Mike said, “Trust him. I think it’s okay to trust him, Eddie. Let yourself love someone. Let someone else love you. It’s okay.” 

“I just, I swore…” Eddie pushed his hand through his hair, “B-But you’re right. I-I do love him. And being with him was the first time ever that I felt happy.” 

“Go,” Bill said, “Go home. Talk to him. You can fix this.” 

“But I don’t know if I deserve him anymore,” Eddie shuddered, “Not after how I treated him last week.” 

“Everyone does things they’re not proud of, and everyone is out of line sometimes,” Mike told him, “You were just having a trauma response. You can apologize, you can reassure him of the truth, and you can move on from what happened. You can make up for it, and you can heal. Both of you.” 

“You really think so?” Eddie asked, “You think...You think I could just tell him the truth and it would be okay?” 

“I think so. Richie loves you so intensely that I can see it in his eyes, in the way he laughs when he talks to you. If you’re honest to him, he’ll understand,” Bill said. 

Eddie was too caught up in his feelings that he didn’t notice his phone ring, but Mike had his ringer on and pulled it out of his pocket instantly.

“Stan is calling,” Mike said. 

“What the fuck?” Eddie replied, pushing his nails into his palms anxiously. 

“Hello?” Mike answered. 

“I need to talk to Eddie,” Stan said. 

“Um,” Mike replied, “I don’t know if now’s a good time, maybe call back later and he’ll be-” 

“Listen, Mike,” Stan said, and Mike was taken back by the crack in his voice, “I need to talk to Eddie right now. Right fucking now. Please.” 

Mike paused, pulling the phone away from his cheek and looking at Eddie. “Stan really wants to talk to you.”

“Now?” Eddie asked. 

Mike shrugged, pushing the phone toward Eddie. 

Eddie sighed, pulling the phone to his face. “Hello?” 

“I need the keys to your dorm,” Stan said, “Right now. Send me the address of where you’re at.” 

“What?” Eddie answered, “Why do you need the keys-” 

“Eddie, not now. Don’t question me please,” Stan sounded like he was starting to cry. “I need the keys. Please.” 

“Stan, I’m going to need you to tell me what’s going on,” Eddie told him. 

“Well, I don’t know how much you care, but Richie hasn’t been taking his meds,” Stan said, “He’s being weird right now so I need your keys to get into your dorm and make sure he’s okay.” 

“Wait, w-what?” Eddie gasped. 

“What do you mean, what?” Stan sobbed, dropping a bit deep into Eddie’s stomach. “Eddie, please. I’m scared something will happen, something happened before and....He’s my best friend, I need to see him, just please give me the fucking keys.” 

“I-I’m gonna go,” Eddie answered. 

“What do you mean you’re gonna go?” Stan asked. 

“I’m going home. To the dorm. I’ll make sure he’s okay,” Eddie said, “I’ll call you right after and let you know. I promise.” 

“But you said-” 

“I know what I said, but I didn’t mean it and I hope you all will be able to forgive me. I promise I’ll explain, but that’s not important right now. Richie needs me. I  _ know  _ that it needs to be me to talk to him. I have to do this. Please, let me do this Stan.” 

Stan took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. Just, be fast and be careful of him. Okay? Promise?” 

“I promise,” Eddie told him, “I’ll be careful of him, I...I gotta fix this. I’ll call you back soon.” 

“Hurry,” Stan said, hanging up. 

“I’ve got to go,” Eddie tossed Mike’s phone to the other cushion and jumped off the couch, “Richie needs me.” 

“Remember, you’ve got this, dude,” Bill told him, “Just be real. Not only to him, but to yourself.” 

“I know. I know,” Eddie grabbed his bag and darted to the door. “Thank you guys, for everything.” 

“Good luck,” Mike said, “Call us soon and let us know how it went.” 

“I will,” Eddie jumped out the door, “Bye guys.” 

Eddie didn’t bother to put music on as he jumped in his car, only pushing the keys in and pulling out of the parking lot as fast as he could, quickly speeding on the road. There was a drop of sweat falling down his fast and a heaviness in his chest that told him he was going to cry, and he felt afraid. 

Richie always made him feel the opposite of afraid. He decided right then that being with him is the best shot of happiness he had. He had to fix this. 

Pulling into the dorm parking lot, Eddie ran all the way to the halls. He ran as a hobby in high school, and he was grateful for that, as it allowed him to get to Richie as quickly as he could. Finally arriving in front of the door, he pushed the key into the lock and hopped inside. 

“Richie?” he called out urgently, eyes searching the room, “Rich?” 

He finally noticed Richie laying on the carpet beside the bed, looking up at him dazedly. 

“Rich,” Eddie dropped to his knees and crawled on the floor to him, trying to pull him up, “It’s okay, it’s okay. Are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

“You’re back,” Richie said, “Why?” 

“I’m so sorry,” Eddie held his wrist, “I-I didn’t mean to. I was scared, a-and I...I’m not leaving anymore. I won’t leave again.” 

“You don’t have to stay with me, Eddie, it’s okay,” Richie said, “I know it would be easier for you if you didn’t have to see me anymore. I won’t bother you.” 

“Richie, please, stop,” Eddie had a tear fall down his cheek, “I need you, okay? I need you with me. Please don’t leave.” 

“You know, you don’t have to pretend to care,” Richie said, “Go ahead. You can leave.” 

“Pretend to care?” Eddie squeezed his wrist, “No.  _ No.  _ You need to listen to me, okay? Please, Rich, listen to me. I-I’ve...I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you, and I know I have a shitty way of showing it and you deserve so much better than me, but I need you to understand. I-I have a lot of issues, so many issues, so many things I need to work on because of my past and it was pushing me away from you. I love you so much and it terrified me because I’m so used to getting hurt, and it made me think I had to do anything to push you away to protect myself but no,  _ no,  _ that’s such fucking bullshit because these seven days without you have been the hardest of my life, and every single day that passed I just thought more and more about how much I love you and how much it hurts not to hear your voice and how much I fucking hate myself for lying to you at that party. It hurts so fucking bad, Rich, and Stan called me right now and said you weren’t safe and Jesus fucking Christ I was so scared, so fucking scared because I can’t lose you, I can’t. Please, be safe Richie, let me help you.  _ Please _ , let me help you. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make up to you what I did but please know I was lying and I love you so much it hurts to breathe when you’re gone and I’m sorry, Jesus Rich, I’m so fucking  _ sorry. _ ” 

Richie was silent for a second, and Eddie began to properly cry, holding Richie’s wrist tightly and sobbing above him. 

“Please don’t cry,” Richie told him. 

“Please, Rich, don’t leave me,” Eddie cried, “Don’t leave me, I love you so much. I-I can help you and we can move on from this, if you want to, but just please let me help you right now. I promise everything’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything hurt you. Not ever again.” 

Richie pushed himself up a little bit and very slowly wrapped his arms around Eddie, tucking his face into his shoulder, and he also began to cry. It was just silent tears at first, but when Eddie squeezed him tighter he began to sob. 

“It’s okay, I-I’ve got you,” Eddie rocked him, “I’ll make sure you’re safe. I’ve got you Rich.” 

“Y-You love me?” Richie asked. 

“Yes, God, I fucking love you,” Eddie told him, “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. And I won’t let my trauma ruin that again. I promise.” 

Richie dug his face deeper into Eddie’s shoulder and held on tightly to his t-shirt, letting him take care of him. He still felt an empty hole from the lack of pills, but with Eddie there and holding him so tightly, he didn’t feel scared anymore. He felt safe. 

Eddie held him for quite a while without words, both of them letting themselves cry it out while they leaned into each other’s warmth. Finally, once they both had stopped crying and Richie rested calmly, Eddie pulled himself up. 

“I have to call Stan and tell him you’re okay,” Eddie said, “He was really worried.”

“Fuck, I feel bad,” Richie said, “Tell him that him and Bev could come here so we could talk. If that’s okay with you.” 

“Of course it’s okay with me,” Eddie said, pulling out his phone and dialing Stan. 

Stan answered on the first ring. “What happened?” 

“He’s okay,” Eddie told him, “He’s safe and he’s not hurt. I just sat with him for awhile...he wants you and Bev to come over here.” 

“Okay,” Stan answered. “Okay. Is he sure?” 

“Yes,” Eddie said, “Come on over..” 

“Alright,” Stan said, “We’ll be on our way.” 

Eddie went back to cuddling Richie to his side while they waited for them, stroking his hair and arm. Richie closed his eyes, melting into Eddie’s touch, and soon enough there was a knock on the door. 

“C’mon,” Eddie stood up slowly, pulling Richie up. Eddie walked over and opened the door, Stan and Bev walking in without words. 

“Hey,” Richie said. 

With that, Stan ran up to Richie and threw his arms around his shoulders almost rough enough to knock him over, squeezing him tightly. 

“Fuck, Richie, fuck,” Stan shed a tear, “I was so scared.” 

“I’m sorry,” Richie hugged him tightly back, “I’m okay.” 

“I was so scared,” Stan repeated, “I’m so, so sorry, Richie. I’m so sorry.” 

“Me too,” Bev stepped forward, and Stan moved so she could join them. Richie used both his arms to hug them both closely, resting his chin on top of Bev’s head. 

Eddie sat on the chair and looked to them, and they hugged for a while longer before Richie pulled back. “Alright. We have some things to talk about.” 

Bev nodded, she and Stan standing back and sitting on the bed beside him. “I’ll go first.” 

She rested her hand on Richie’s knee. “Firstly, I’m so sorry to all three of you. I just really wanted Richie to be happy, and sometimes I don’t think before I act so I didn’t think about what I was doing. I didn’t realize I was pushing boundaries and making people uncomfortable, but I was and I’m sorry. Richie, I’m sorry that I put ideas into your head. Eddie, I’m sorry that you thought I was using you. I was pushing you, but I genuinely care about having you as a friend. And Stan, I’m sorry for getting you into all of this.” 

“I’m not mad,” Richie told her, “At any of you. I know you just want what’s best for me, Bevvie. You didn’t mean to hurt me.” 

“I’m sorry I bitched at you at the party,” Eddie told her, “I was drunk and upset, but I know you didn’t just try to use me. I really care about you too, Bev.” 

“I think we just all need to be honest with each other, for now on,” Stan said, “No more secrets or schemes.” 

“You got that right,” Eddie sighed, “I already told Richie, but I think I owe you two an explanation too. I, um, sort of have trauma from my last relationship. It’s something I never dealt with, and it kept me from letting myself be happy. It made me think I have to push Richie away, and it made me do what I did. But I’m done letting it control my life, and I’m not going to lie to myself or anyone else anymore. I-I love Richie. And you guys love him so much, so I’m so sorry for what I did to hurt him.” 

“Everyone handles trauma differently,” Stan said, “We don’t hate you for it.” 

“So…” Bev said, “What now?” 

“I think all of us have some healing to do,” Richie sighed, “Growth, I guess. And after that? We’ll figure things out. It’ll be okay, because we have each other, and we won’t keep secrets anymore. We’ll work together for us to heal. Right?” 

“Right,” Stan said.

“Right,” Bev said. 

“Right,” Eddie repeated. 

“Okay, good,” Richie said, “And, um, I’m sorry for the scare. Thank you all, for coming to help me.” 

“Of course,” Bev said, “You’ll never realize how loved you are, Rich.” 

“Damn, if this ain’t a Disney Channel movie scene,” Richie laughed, “Okay, maybe a little dark for Disney Channel.” 

“God, you’re such an asshole,” Stan slapped his shoulder, but he was laughing. And Bev was laughing, and Eddie was too.

“Hey! Deep moments are essential,” Bev said, “Maybe we can make it a Hallmark film. Still too dark?” 

“Definitely too dark for Hallmark. Try HBO,” Richie said. 

“Now that’s just a reach,” Eddie said, and they laughed again. 

“Speaking of movies,” Richie stretched, “We could watch one now, if you guys want. Since Disney Channel is in the conversation, how about High School Musical?” 

“I was more into Lemonade Mouth,” Stan said. 

“I was Camp Rock,” Bev laughed. 

“I was all three,” Eddie said, “Disney Channel movie marathon?” 

“Disney Channel movie marathon,” Richie nodded, “Alright, someone open Disney Plus and I’ll order a pizza.” 

And soon enough, they were snuggled on the couch watching High School Musical, under one of Richie’s blankets, and Eddie didn’t even chastise Richie for kicking his foot onto the table. Instead, he rested his hand on Richie’s thigh under the blanket, and soon enough Richie rested his hand on top of his. Eddie smiled at him, and then he leaned his cheek onto Richie’s arm. 

Everything couldn’t be fixed overnight, but they all knew that everything was going to be okay. As long as they had each other. 

It was time for healing to begin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm thinking of writing a Christmas oneshot so subscribe to me if you're interested! If it takes a second for the next chapter of this fic that's the reason lol


	10. ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for slow update! i finished the semester and took up a seasonal job so i had like zero time to breathe. i missed my reddie so much

“Hey.” 

Eddie sat on the foot of his bed, kicking his leg over his knee and watching Richie from the other side of the room carefully, tapping his finger against his thigh. 

Richie squeezed his eyes shut and then stretched, looking to Eddie with tired eyes. “Hey.” 

“You slept in,” Eddie said, “I, uh, didn’t want to wake you.” 

“Slept in, huh?” Richie reached for his phone, “Damn, and until noon.” 

“Usually that’s my job,” Eddie laughed softly, trying to conceal his awkward nerves. 

It’d been a few days since Richie started taking his pills again. He didn’t go back to normal instantly, and he had been sleeping a lot. Eddie wanted to do everything he could to help, but he didn’t want to overstep any boundaries. After all, they haven’t even discussed what their relationship was anymore. 

“Yeah, look at you. Rising and shining,” Richie said, turning over to put his glasses on. “I better get up then, huh?” 

“I mean, you don’t have to. What else are Saturdays for?” Eddie replied. 

“For some pancakes, that’s what,” Richie said, “Is it too late?” 

“Never too late,” Eddie smiled, “C’mon, I’ll help you make some.” 

“You don’t have to help if you don’t want, Eds,” Richie sat out of the bed, “Don’t you worry, I’m not on death’s door. I can take care of myself.” 

“Just making sure,” Eddie said quietly, pushing his fingers into the mattress.    
“But, you know,” Richie said, “If you just want to help make pancakes, that’s more than fine by me.” 

Eddie smiled, stepping off the bed. “Yeah. I’d love to.” 

So Richie taught him the special touch he added every time he made his recipe and Eddie made some chocolate milk, and noon breakfast was served. 

“First good breakfast I’ve had in awhile,” Richie told him, “Thanks for helping me out, Eds.” 

“Of course,” Eddie played with his fork a bit, “It was fun.” 

Richie smiled, and he played with his fork too. “What are you up to today?” 

“Nothing much,” Eddie answered, “I got all my homework done yesterday. How about you?” 

“Same here,” Richie replied, “Do you want to, um-” 

“Watch a movie?” Eddie asked. 

Richie smiled. “Yeah! I mean, if you want to.” 

“Of course I want to,” Eddie hesitantly reached his arm over and rested his fingers over Richie’s hand. Richie didn’t hesitate to turn his hand around and squeeze them, brushing his thumb over his knuckle. 

“Okay,” Richie answered, “What genre are you feeling?” 

“How about Perks of Being A Wallflower?” Eddie asked, “It’s what we watched when we first met.” 

“Aw, is Eddie bear being nostalgic?” Richie teased. 

“Yeah,” Eddie laughed softly, “I am.” 

Richie blushed, finishing the last of his food and gently letting go of Eddie’s hand to bring the dishes to the sink. “So movie pajama day? Is that the Saturday we’ve got on the menu?” 

“Yeah!” Eddie stood up and tucked his chin over Richie’s shoulder, “Sounds good to me.” 

The rest of the day, Richie stayed snuggled into the corner of the couch with Eddie laying over his chest under a silk blanket, and everything felt at peace once again. They didn’t say much, but at some point Richie had started to brush his fingers through Eddie’s hair and Eddie fell asleep with his cheek against Richie’s heart, letting the beats lull him. Richie smiled down at him as he slept, pulling the blanket up to make sure he stayed warm, and any awkwardness that lingered between them faded away. 

That left only one thing to worry about - Eddie had told him he loved him. 

Richie tensed as he remembered, shutting his eyes. Did he mean it, or was it just an emotional outburst? Wait, wouldn’t having an emotional outburst over it something that would only be caused by loving him?

There was just so much to think about. 

So he opened his eyes and looked back at Eddie’s sleeping face, and he relaxed, cuddling him tighter. He didn’t have to worry about it right now, he supposed. 

Instead, he let himself drift to sleep too. 

They were both woken up three hours later by the ringing of Richie’s phone. 

Richie was startled a little by the sound of the vibrating against the table, and Eddie stirred awake too, and Richie almost considered hanging it up and going back to sleep but Beverly’s picture was on the screen. 

“I should probably get it,” Richie yawned, “Hey Bev.” 

“Hey Rich! I was just wondering-” Bev’s voice was loud enough for Eddie to hear, “Wait, were you asleep?” 

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Richie answered, “What’s up?”

“Well, I just had this idea,” she said, “But I wanted to get your approval first.” 

“Alright, Bevvie. Shoot.” 

“Okay, so, since the last party, um, flopped,” she said, “I was thinking about having another party. My aunt will be out of town Friday. Good idea or bad idea?” 

“Good idea,” Eddie took the phone, “We definitely need a re-do.” 

“I second that!” Richie said, “I need a good party right now.”

“Great!” she said, “I’ll let everyone know. Love you guys!” 

“Love ya too!” Richie said, hanging up. “Another party, huh? I sure hope it will be better than last time.” 

“I promise it will!” Eddie told him, “I promise.” 

Throughout the week, everything started to get more and more like it was before anything went down. Richie and Eddie were back to being the best of friends, and Richie’s energy was restored. He even started to feel happy. 

But there was still an invisible tension between them - what were they? 

And Richie still hadn’t told him he loved him back. 

But it was just past eight pm on Friday night, and just like always, they were late to the party. 

“God, Rich, hurry up!” Eddie leaned against the bathroom door, glitter smeared slightly under his eyes. “Everyone’s already there.” 

“Fashionably late, baby!” he said, kicking the door open and nearly knocking Eddie over. “Alright, alright! Let’s get going.” 

Richie called the uber and grabbed Eddie’s hand, swinging their arms as they left the dorm and walked to the parking lot. 

“Come on Eds, pump up your energy! It’s party time!” Richie shouted, spinning in a circle and skipping forward, spinning Eddie around. 

“You’re gonna make us fall!” Eddie laughed, but he was so happy. The happiest he had ever felt. And it didn’t come from going out on his own and being crazy, and it didn’t come with being confined to someone either. It came from walking down the halls with glitter under his eyes, feeling the most free he ever had, and watching Richie dance beside him and feeling so in love. 

That was the truth behind it all. He was in love. Real love, this time. And he would never push it away again. 

Instead, he grabbed Richie’s hand and spun him around, laughing as he tried to get his lanky body under his arm, and he leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek. 

That was happiness. 

After half an hour of annoying the poor underpaid uber driver, they jumped out and tripped onto Bev’s aunt’s lawn. 

“Come on, come on!” Richie grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him up the steps, “Let’s party!” 

He slammed the door open and jumped inside, “Hey!” 

“Hey!” Bev ran up and hugged him, “Fashionably late, I see.” 

“See? She gets it,” Richie told Eddie, who rolled his eyes before hugging her too. 

“Great,” Stan said, “Things were perfectly peaceful here before this. Who invited him?” 

“You specifically requested my presence, Stanley,” Richie told him, “Stop kidding yourself.” 

“That’s so gross,” Stan winced, but he hugged him too. 

“Bill ate all the pizza,” Bev said, “Sorry guys. You snooze, you lose.” 

“Ah, come on Bill!” Eddie walked up to him and slapped his arm. “I’m hungry!” 

“Sorry,” Bill shrugged, “We have cake left?” 

“I told him to stop eating!” Mike said, “I’m sorry Eddie.” 

“I’ll never forgive him for this,” Eddie said, “Come on, Rich. We’re getting some cake for dinner, I suppose.” 

“Sounds good with me!” Richie said, “Is it chocolate?” 

“Of course it is!” Bev said, “You know I’d never bake anything else.” 

“You’re a fucking angel,” Richie told her, “Fuck the pizza. Thanks Bill.” 

“Hey, don’t enable his bullshit!” Eddie laughed, but Richie wasted no time getting to the kitchen. 

As soon as they had eaten, they were quick to get back to the living room, where their friends were dancing in corners with vodka lemonades in their hands, and Eddie felt that rush again. That adrenaline of feeling so very passionate about existence, feeling so in place and on fire and glowing brighter than the sun, feeling happy. He was surrounded by his friends, the best people he had ever known, and soon enough he brought the vodka lemonade to his lips and that sip was the true taste of real life. 

This was living. This was his life. This was what he always dreamed of. 

“Dance with me, Eds,” Richie’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Richie’s shining eyes looking down at him, a crooked smile on his face. He was so very beautiful. 

“Okay,” Eddie told him, the purest adoration in his voice, taking Richie’s hand. He threw his arms around his shoulder and Richie rested his on his hips, and Eddie gazed deeply into Richie’s eyes, smiling fondly. 

Soon enough, everyone else seemed to disappear, some of them wandering to the kitchen or the basement or the backyard, but Richie and Eddie stayed there, dancing silently in the middle of the living room, and Richie rested his hand on Eddie’s cheek. 

“You look good,” Richie told him, a rare shyness in his voice, rubbing his thumb along Eddie’s cheekbone. 

Eddie smiled, turning his face a little to kiss Richie’s palm. “You do too.” 

“You always do,” Richie told him, “I could spend the rest of my life looking at you, you know.” 

“Is that so?” Eddie asked. 

“Yes,” Richie said, “You can tell me if I’m being weird. I’ll stop.” 

Suddenly, Eddie felt himself back at the party they crashed on the first day he met Richie, dancing with him in the middle of the party with vodka on his breath, feeling the intense nerves of attraction, the fuzziness in his stomach and electricity in his veins when he was about to make that big decision. It could’ve been considered a mistake, but that was far from the truth. It was the best thing he ever did. 

“I don’t want you to stop.” 

Richie smiled, brushing his thumb over Eddie’s lip. “Then I won’t.” 

“Tell me more,” Eddie told him. 

“Tell you more?” Richie said, “Well, since the moment I saw you, I knew you’d be the best thing to ever happen to me. And I was right.” 

Eddie blushed, rubbing his thumb on the back of Richie’s neck. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me too.” 

“It’s like, my whole life I’ve been dealing with everything so heavy, and it was always a fight. I always had to look out, and I couldn’t trust anything. Then you came along, and it wasn’t a fight anymore. It was just peace. All those fights beforehand didn’t even matter anymore. Nothing before mattered,” Richie said, “When I held your hand, when I felt your face on my chest, when you looked into my eyes because I was making you laugh, that’s what living is all about, you know? The fight was over. And you know what, Eddie? I love you too.” 

Just before he could start to cry, Eddie held Richie closer and kissed his lips, closing his eyes and melting into him like there was no one else in the world. They had kissed many times before, but none were like this. Their other kisses were made of lustful fire, but this kiss was made of love. It was made of passion just as much as it was made of peace. 

Richie closed his eyes and kissed back, still cupping his face, using his other arm to hug around Eddie’s back and hold him closer, if that was even possible. 

They kissed for quite a while, almost forgetting about where they were or time and space in general, but then Eddie finally pulled away, pulling softly off Richie’s lip. “Come on, let’s get back to the party. We have forever to do this.” 

“Forever, huh?” Richie said, “I won’t forget that, you know.” 

“Good,” Eddie winked, and pulled Richie to the backyard to meet up with the others. 

“Hey guys!” Bev shouted in her tipsiness as they got into the backyard, “Oh my god, Richie, I missed you so much!” 

“That’s enough vodka for you Bevvie, alright?” Richie laughed, hugging her. “And not nearly enough for me. I think it’s about time to get plastered.” 

“Come play pong with us!” Mike said, where he and Bill stood in front of Ben and Bev. 

“Go ahead,” Eddie pushed Richie’s shoulder, “I’m gonna chill out here for a while.” 

“I’ll be right there if you need me. Don’t go fucking Stan or anything like that,” Richie said. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Stan rolled his eyes, but Eddie laughed. 

“Hey, no fair! Two against three!” Bill protested as Richie jumped by Bev’s side. 

“Shouldn’t have eaten the pizza, Bill! Maybe I would’ve helped you,” Eddie said. 

“I’ll buy you a fucking pizza tomorrow,” Bill pouted, “Come on, Eddie!” 

“Who’s gonna hang out with Stan?” Eddie gestured to Stan, sitting against the wall. 

“So the rumors are true!” Richie gasped, “Eds, Stanny, how could you!” 

“Just play the damn game,” Stan laughed, “Come on, Eddie. I’m not drunk. Want to pick up another pizza?” 

“I sure would,” Eddie said, “Bill, you’re not getting a fucking slice.” 

“Come back soon, guys!” Bev slurred, “I’ll miss you!” 

“We need to get out of here before she tries to tag along,” Stan whispered to Eddie, and he waved at them before they swiftly made their way out of the house. 

“Is Pizza Hut okay?” Stan asked, “I just know we’re not going to Domino’s and their ass excuse for pizza.” 

“Yeah, Pizza Hut’s fine,” Eddie laughed, jumping inside Stan’s car. 

The drive was silent for a few moments, but not quite enough to be considered awkward. Eddie kept his gaze to the window while Stan drove, lightly bouncing his leg. 

“Hey, Eddie.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Um, I just wanted to say,” Stan said, “I know things haven’t been very easy. And I know a lot has happened this month. But I wanted to say thank you, for looking out for Richie. For going over there when he needed you. I was so scared...but I’m not scared anymore. I’m just...I’m so happy he has someone like you.” 

Eddie blushed. “Of course. I’m...I’m in love with him.” 

“I know,” Stan said, “And he’s in love with you too, trust me. Even though he annoys me, he’s my best friend. I’m a little protective. So I wanted to tell you thank you for loving him the way he deserves.” 

“Even after what I-” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore, what happened,” Stan said, “We’ve all moved on. It’s only about now, and later. And I know you love him. I saw you guys back there, and it just...it made me happy, too. Seeing him happy. So thank you. I...I’m not too good at any of that mushy stuff, emotional stuff is Bev’s thing, and I’m not the best with words, but I wanted to tell you. I’m really happy you’re in our lives, Eddie.” 

“That,” Eddie sighed, “That’s really nice. You don’t have to thank me, Stan. Loving Richie is the best thing I’ve ever done. And I’m really happy to have you guys in my life, too. All of you. Like, I was standing in the living room back there and thought, wow, we all were really meant to be together, huh?” 

“Huh,” Stan said, “That’s right. It was always just me, Richie and Bev,” Stan said, “We didn’t know what we were missing.” 

Eddie smiled. “You know, I used to be scared of you.” 

“That’s the best compliment I’ve ever received,” Stan laughed, “Why?” 

“I don’t know, it was that day we first all met. Bev’s pool party. You were giving me death stares,” Eddie said. 

“Sorry, sorry. I know I have quite the resting bitch face,” Stan said, “I was just trying to figure you out, I guess. See what Richie’s so into.” 

“Trying to give your Stanley approval?” Eddie asked. 

“I guess you can put it like that,” Stan said. 

“That’s what Richie said you were doing, back then when I asked,” Eddie laughed. 

“Of course he did,” Stan rolled his eyes, “And, he was right. There you go, Eddie. You’ve officially received Stanley’s approval.” 

“I appreciate that,” Eddie nodded, “Couldn’t have it anyway else.” 

And when they pulled up to the Pizza Hut parking lot, Eddie ran around and hugged him. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he needed to. 

Stan stood awkwardly, patting his hand over Eddie’s back. He wasn’t exactly a hugger, but he felt like he needed it too.

When Eddie pulled away, they didn’t say anything about it. They just walked in, picked up the pizza, and got back in the car. 

They didn’t say anything during the drive home. But it wasn’t awkward. They didn’t need to. 

“We have returned,” Stan announced in a monotone voice, walking in to see everyone has moved to the living room. 

“About time,” Richie said, “Tell me, Eddie darling. Is my dick bigger than his?” 

“Fuck off and eat the pizza,” Eddie said, jumping on the couch with the box. 

“Say no more,” Richie said, shoving a slice into his mouth. 

“Bill, I still expect you to buy me a pizza tomorrow,” Eddie said, “Either that or you give Stan gas money.” 

“You act like I committed a crime,” Bill pouted. 

“You did!” Eddie said, “No excuses.” 

“Yeah, that’s right Billy. Eddie the pizza police is here to arrest you,” Richie said, “Isn’t that right, officer? Got any spare handcuffs for tonight?” 

“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” Eddie winked. 

“God, there’s two of them,” Stan groaned, “This is a never ending nightmare.” 

“Where’s Bev?” Eddie asked. 

“She got too drunk,” Mike said, “Ben’s putting her to bed.” 

“The level I aspire to be at,” Richie said, “Two more shots maybe?” 

“As long as you don’t puke on me,” Eddie said, “I would never touch you again.” 

“Don’t worry, Eds. My first pick to puke on would be Stan,” Richie said. 

“And you’d be my first pick to kill on purge night,” Stan told him. 

“Ouch. I’m the one who’s supposed to be making movie references! Stick to your algebra and trigonometry, Stanley,” Richie replied. 

“It’s literally illegal to say those words outside of school,” Stan said, “Shut up and eat the pizza I went out of my way to get for you.” 

“Love my fans,” Richie said, and Stan just threw a pillow at him before walking to the kitchen to get another drink. 

“Poor Bev,” Eddie said, “She’s gonna be sad that she crashed early.” 

“Well, she partied it up, Bevvie my girl,” Richie said, “And we shall party it up again. Next time, it’ll be me. Would you put me to bed?” 

“Of course I would,” Eddie said, “I’m your boyf-...I mean, of course I would.” 

Richie blushed, but decided not to say anything more about it. 

As the hours passed, the friends got into a match of Cards Against Humanity and had a few more drinks, and it was beyond serene in the most glamourous of ways. 

Stan had been the first to fall asleep, drifting off with his legs hanging over the side of the couch. 

“Maybe we should call our Uber,” Mike said, “Everyone’s getting tired.” 

“I think we’ll sleepover,” Richie said, “Sound good, Eds?” 

“Sounds good,” Eddie nodded, also on the verge of sleepiness. 

“We didn’t bring our sleeping bags, so we’ll just head home for the night,” Mike said, “You ready, Bill?” 

“Yes,” Bill stood up, “I can’t really buy you a pizza, Eddie. I’m broke.” 

“Get a damn job then,” Eddie laughed. 

“You don’t have a job either!” Bill exclaimed. 

“And yet I could still afford pizza,” Eddie replied, “Goodnight, guys.” 

“Goodnight!” Mike said, and soon enough they were out the door. 

“Well, well, well,” Richie said, “Looks like it’s just you and me.” 

“Well, I’m sleepy, so don’t get any ideas,” Eddie said. 

“Damn, Eds, get your mind out of the gutter!” Richie teased, “I just wanted to cuddle.” 

“That, I can do,” Eddie said, “Where are we sleeping?” 

“The guest room,” Richie said, “Stan can stay his ass here.” 

Richie stood up and grabbed a blanket from the other couch, carefully laying it over Stan. “Let’s go get some sleep.” 

Eddie followed Richie to the empty room, and it didn’t take very long until they were under the covers. It was almost winter now, and the temperatures were dropping. 

Richie laid on his back, opening his arms for Eddie to rest on his chest. Eddie curled around him, nuzzling his face on his chest, and Richie held him.

“Goodnight Eds.”

“Goodnight Rich,” Eddie whispered, “I...I love you.” 

Richie smiled, kissing the top of Eddie’s head. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, we're almost done with this one! thank you so much to everyone who's been supporting it <3


	11. eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one came out long oops

Richie had decided that the week had been probably the most ethereal one of his life. 

_ Ethereal.  _ He didn’t know the word before, but Bev had been into pretty words lately, or adding more aesthetic to her vocabulary, as she would say.  _ Wow, that’s ethereal!,  _ she had said about the stars that littered the sky one night, and Richie thought about the word more. It meant beautiful, on a scale outside of the confines of beautiful. It meant something that brought light into the universe, something that brought light to his heart. 

And that’s what the week had been. The week he had lived knowing without a doubt that Eddie Kaspbrak loved him. 

Of course, the week he had first met him was ethereal as well. But it was a different level of beautiful, another side of the spectrum. It was the difference between fire and the sun. It was the difference between lust and love. The difference between feeling ecstatic enough to glow and serene enough to feel peace. 

So, maybe, he had a brighter smile than he usually did, and he laughed at the simplest things, and he danced a little walking between classes - it was ethereal. It was being in love. 

But nothing in all of the days that passed compared to how he felt when he came home from class on a tuesday evening, after one of the best weeks of his life. 

“Hey, Eds!” he greeted as he walked through the door, sloppily throwing his backpack to his side of the room and searching for him. 

“Eds?” he called out, but no one was home. Huh. Eddie was always home at this time. 

Shrugging it off, Richie jumped on the couch and turned on the tv. 

But as the minutes passed, he started to grow nervous. Why wasn’t Eddie there? He always was. Something may be wrong, something could- 

Just before he could get lost in the storms in his own head, the door opened, and Richie practically jumped in excitement. 

“Eds! I was wondering where-” 

When Eddie came inside, he was stunned into silence, looking at him in a daze. 

For Eddie was walking toward him, a hint of nervousness in his eyes and a bouquet of roses in his hand. 

“You like red roses, right? I texted Bev and she said you did,” Eddie said, handing them to him. 

“Oh my God,” Richie grabbed them and buried his face in them, pulling them back and looking back at Eddie. “Eddie, you got me flowers?” 

“Yeah,” Eddie smiled weakly, “And, uh. I was wondering…” 

“Wondering?” Richie questioned. 

Eddie sighed, and then he smiled. “I was wondering if you want to go on a date with me Saturday night. A real one.” 

Richie blinked, trying to make sense that this is actually happening. Trying to make sense of the fact that the most beautiful person he had ever met was giving him flowers and asking him on a date. 

A big smile grew on his face, and he could almost feel a tear in his eye, and he jumped up to hug him. “Of course I will. Of course.” 

Eddie hugged him back, lightly nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. “Good. It’s on me this time, okay? Let me surprise you.” 

“Sounds good, Eddie my love,” Richie said, pulling back and pushing Eddie’s hair out of his face. 

Eddie hugged him once more and kissed his cheek before stepping back. “Let’s make some dinner for tonight for now, yeah?” 

Almost as quick as a blink, it was Saturday. In his pure energy, Richie woke up just after eight am, Eddie sound asleep on the other side of the room. 

Swiftly, he brushed his teeth and grabbed his things, grabbing a sticky note and jotting a note on it to stick on the counter. 

_ Went to go get ready at Bev’s. See you at six ;)  _

With that, he was out the door. 

Despite being far from a morning person, Bev was wide awake. She could be considered almost as ecstatic as Richie was, dancing around her room sending texts to Ben that read  _ Babe, it’s finally happening!  _

Richie rushed into her house, not even bothering to knock on the door, skidding in his pajamas with his bag through the living room. As soon as she heard the front door open, Bev ran out of her room, skipping towards Richie and jumping into his arms. 

“Top of the morning to you, princess Beverly!” Richie greeted, squeezing her tightly. 

“Oh my God, Richie, I’m so fucking excited!” she cheered, “You are going to look absolutely beautiful tonight, okay? You’ve come to the right place.” 

“We have a whole lot of time, damn,” Richie said, “Sorry for showing up so early.” 

“Just enough time to emotionally prepare you,” she said, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the room. 

“Shit, yeah,” Richie sighed, jumping on the bed, “Holy fuck, Bev.” 

“It’ll be fine!” she jumped to lay beside him, “Don’t be nervous, babe. It’s going to be positively magical.” 

Richie smiled, closing his eyes. “I know. Anything with him is positively magical. But this is just crazy, you know? Crazy! I’m almost twenty, and I’m going to go on my first real date.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, I am twenty and I went on my first real date two weeks ago,” she winked, “And you know what? It was as magical as I always secretly imagined. It’s like all your childhood daydreams of falling in love coming true.” 

“Hm, yeah,” Richie laughed, “It’s just...fucking insane. You spend so long, wondering if someone could ever love you. Then one day, someone does, and you don’t know how to fucking act.” 

Bev laughed. “From my first date experience, I’ll tell you. Don’t overthink anything. Don’t plan out everything you’re gonna say, or everything you’re gonna do, because it won’t end up happening the same way as in your head. Just hold his hand and be yourself. Think of it like just another adventure, just with a new tone. Go with the flow. Don’t be worried about embarrassing yourself.” 

“Of course I’m going to embarrass myself,” Richie laughed, “I’m a walking embarrassment. That’s well established. So...better not to worry about that part at all, huh?” 

“Absolutely correct,” Bev said, “Just gotta live, you know? There’s no time to be worrying about embarrassing yourself. You’ll be too busy doing that and miss all the good parts of living.” 

“Always so wise, Miss Marsh,” Richie said, “What would I do without you?” 

“Who knows,” she winked, “Now, where the hell is Stan?” 

“Let’s facetime him,” Richie said, flipping onto his back and pulling out his phone. Bev laid her cheek on his shoulder, getting in the frame. 

Stan answered on the second to last ring, flipping his camera to not show his face. “Hm?” 

“Where are you?” Bev asked. 

“Um,” he said, “In bed like everyone else? It’s not even fucking nine am yet.” 

“It’s an important day, Stanley! Get up!” she said. 

Stan flipped the camera to show himself, his mouth in a straight line. “The date is not until fucking six pm. I’m going back to sleep.” 

“Come on, Stanny, I need emotional preparation!” Richie said. 

“Yeah, preparation for when I kick your ass for calling me this early,” Stan said. 

“Stanley, stop sucking the fun out of everything,” Bev pouted her lip, “We’re waiting for you!” 

Stan was quiet for a second before he groaned in defeat. “Fine. But not until after I have my green tea.” 

“Thanks, Stanny, love ya!” Richie blew a kiss, and Stan rolled his eyes and hung up. 

Richie and Bev went through Tik Tok until Stan came, which wasn’t for about an hour. Finally, he came through the door, yawning as he stepped into his room. 

“Remind me why the fuck we’re here so early,” Stan said. 

“Stanley! It’s Richie’s biggest day ever!” Bev exclaimed, “We need to be with him for like, the entire day.” 

“Sure, I guess,” Stan jumped on the bed, the three of them fitting just perfectly. “What’s the plan, then?” 

“I guess you guys are supposed to be my emotional support, or whatever,” Richie said, “And I brought like three different outfits for you guys to help me choose from.” 

“And I’m going to do his hair!” Bev said, “I’m so excited. He never sat still long enough to let me.” 

“You’re lucky I’m whipped enough to wanna look extra good for Eddie, Bevvie,” Richie said, “I will try my best to sit still.” 

“Where was this energy when I got with Patty?” Stan rolled his eyes, “You two just kept making fun of me instead!” 

“It’s different because this is like the season finale of an impending episode of our lives!” Bev said, “We’ve been waiting for this moment since like, the end of summer.” 

“I didn’t even make fun of you, man,” Richie defended, “It was her!” 

“You were laughing! Laughing like you weren’t a loser virgin,” Stan teased, “But okay, okay. I guess I get it.” 

“Loser virgin? Ha! Isn’t that a thing of the past! Wanna hear my virginity story?” Richie replied. 

“I honestly, truly, don’t want to hear it,” Stan put his hand over Richie’s mouth, “Keep that shit between you and Bev.” 

“She heard it like the next day,” Richie said, “I need to tell it to fresh ears.” 

“Well, you can tell Ben,” Stan said, “I never want to hear a single detail about your sex life.” 

“I dare you to tell Ben,” Bev laughed, “I wanna see how he’d react.” 

“I actually will,” Richie laughed, “He shall receive a call tomorrow.” 

“Poor guy,” Stan shook his head, “He must really love Bev to put up with you.” 

“You say this like you didn’t show up before ten am to be my emotional support,” Richie said, “You love me.” 

“Don’t make me regret it,” Stan said, “But, yeah. I guess.” 

Around that time, Eddie woke up, stretching and yawning and trying to tuck his face into the blanket to fall back asleep for just a little while. After a few minutes passed without success, he sighed and pulled himself up. 

“Good morning, Rich,” he said, but there was no response. “Rich?” 

The bed was empty. 

Slightly concerned, Eddie got up and walked toward the kitchen, looking around, when he noticed the note on the counter. 

“Hmm,” he read it, and his eyes widened in revelation. 

Richie was getting ready with his friends. 

Eddie started to worry. Was he not taking this seriously enough? Was he going to be underdressed? He hadn’t been on a date for so long, if those old dates could even count - what if he was doing this wrong?

After moments of frantically pacing and wondering how the hell dates are supposed to work, he surrendered, picking up the phone and calling Mike. 

“Good morning, Eddie!” Mike greeted, who actually was a morning person. 

“Mike,” he said, “I’m freaking out.” 

“What’s wrong?” Mike asked. 

“You know how I have my date tonight, right?” Eddie started, “Well, I’m the one who asked him out and I’m the one who has the whole plan ready but to be honest I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. Richie went to get ready with his friends and that made me realize oh my god this is actually happening and oh my god this is actually a big deal and what if I’m just not prepared enough? What if he’s all ready and I’m not and I disappoint him and he never wants to go out with me again? God, Mike, I’m the one taking him on a date and I have no idea what’s fucking happening!” 

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Mike said, “It’s okay. You got this. What time is the date?” 

“At six,” Eddie replied, “Oh fuck, it’s at six which is literally hours away and he’s already getting ready and I’m here freaking the fuck out!” 

“Okay, sounds like you’ve got a little time,” Mike said, “Do you wanna come over?” 

Eddie huffed. “Yes. Yes. I’m coming.” 

“Alright,” Mike said, “The door will be unlocked, okay?” 

“Okay,” Eddie answered, “Thank you so much, Mike. Really.” 

“Of course!” Mike answered, “Anytime.” 

As soon as the phone hung up, Eddie tossed it to the bed and ran to his closet. He had to decide what to wear. 

There were all of the outfits he bought with Bev, and he had grown accustomed to wearing them to classes since he had bought them, but they didn’t seem special enough. Too casual. He didn’t want anything about this to be casual, if Richie was going to his friends house early in the morning and shit like that. It had to be special. This was going to be special. 

He went through his closet, tossing everything aside in frustration. Nothing there was going to do the trick. Just as he was about to give up and jump on the bed in frustration, he remembered the button up shirt that Richie had bought him at the shopping district when they went to the city. 

He pulled the hanger out of the closet, taking a second to admire it. 

It was perfect. 

Smiling, Eddie folded the shirt nicely and set it in a bag, pulling out some black pants to go with it. He took a second to admire the outfit, picturing himself wearing it with his hair styled, standing in front of a nice restaurant and taking Richie’s hand. 

After getting lost in daydreams for a second too long, he snapped out of it and got ready to go. Grabbing a banana on the way out, he hurried out the door. 

When he reached the apartments, he pushed the door open, looking frantically for his friends. 

“Mike! Bill!” he called, throwing his bag to the couch. 

Bill ran out of the hall, tackling Eddie. 

“Eddie Kaspbrak!” he patted his back, “I’m so happy for you, man.” 

“Bill, bill, oh my god,” Eddie said, “I’m going on a date, I’m going on a fucking date. And I don’t even know how to fucking act!” 

“First of all, you’ve got to calm down,” Mike said. “Take a deep breath, okay? Breathe with me.” 

Mike took Eddie’s hands and Eddie inhaled, closing his eyes. 

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said, a calmer tone in his voice. “I don’t wanna fuck this up, Mike.” 

“You won’t!” Mike assured, “You just have to remind yourself that it’s only Richie. Richie, who you’ve lived with for quite a while with. He wouldn’t judge you.” 

“I know he wouldn’t,” Eddie said, “But after all this time, after all we’ve gone through, I just want a perfect night. You get me?” 

“I understand,” Mike said, “And it will be. The thing about perfect nights is that it doesn’t matter what happens. It matters who you’re with. That’s what makes it perfect.” 

“You’re right,” Eddie said, “I just need some help. C’mon, look at the shirt I brought. Do you think it looks nice enough?” 

Eddie grabbed the bag and pulled out the shirt, gently unraveling it and displaying it to his friends. 

“Snazzy,” Bill winked, “Where’d you get it? I didn’t know Eddie knew how to dress.” 

“Like your fashion sense is so impeccable, Bill,” Eddie teased, “He actually bought it for me. When we went to the fashion district.” 

“That’s perfect!” Mike smiled, “It’s so sentimental. He’s going to absolutely love it.” 

“You think so?” Eddie asked, a bit shyly. 

“I do,” Mike said, “He’s going to be over the moon when he sees you tonight, Eddie.” 

Eddie spent the next few hours talking to his friends about life and love and all the things inbetween, his nerves growing as the time got closer. He was nervous, but also ecstatic, the thought of seeing Richie repeating in his head. 

“Well, Eddie, it’s five o’clock,” Bill said, “You almost ready?” 

“Almost!” he called out, standing in the bathroom against the mirror, styling the last of his hair. He spent a few seconds looking at himself in the mirror, wearing a button up shirt with his hair combed nicely to the side, and he thought about the day he first met Richie. He thought about when he got ready before they went to that party, when he was staring at his reflection in the mirror with a foreign new passion for life. Now, he was staring at a mirror again, and there was a foreign new passion for life too. And he had to say he liked it even better. 

“Okay,” he said to himself, “Okay.” 

With that, he stepped out of the bathroom, Mike and Bill eagerly waiting in the living room. 

“Wow! Would you look at that,” Mike said, “You look so good, Eddie!” 

“Guys, stop, really,” Eddie blushed, “But...do you think so?” 

“You look hot, Eddie,” Bill said, “Richie’s going to love it.” 

Eddie stepped forward and pulled both of his friends into a hug. “Thank you guys, for being there for me. Through all of this. From the beginning.” 

“We love you so much, Eddie,” Mike said, “And we just want you to be happy. We’re so proud of you.” 

“Really,” Bill added, “I’m so glad you got your shit together.” 

Eddie laughed, “So am I, Bill. So am I.” 

“Well, looks like you’re all date approved,” Mike said, “Are you ready? Like, emotionally?” 

“I am,” Eddie said, “There’s just one thing…” 

“What is it?” 

“I don’t know how to slow dance...But I want to. I want to dance with him.” 

“Aw, Eddie,” Mike said, “I can teach you! We don’t have much time, but I can try my best.” 

“Okay,” Eddie said, stepping back, “Teach me your best.” 

And for the next hour, Mike danced with Eddie in the living room, patiently as Eddie stepped on his feet about a billion times, while Bill sat on the couch and laughed. He only had an hour to learn, so it wasn’t perfect. But it would make due. 

Richie was sitting in Bev’s bedroom, sitting eagerly while she added the last touch to his hair. His leg was bouncing out of control and he was obsessively tapping his thighs, and for a guy who always had a whole lot to say, he was at a loss for words. 

“Richie, I know you’re overthinking this,” Stan said, grabbing Richie’s hand. “Take it easy, buddy. It’s just your Eddie.” 

“Just my Eddie,” Richie reminded himself, closing his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long, guys. Not only in my thoughts growing up, but over the last few months of knowing him. I wanted it so bad, and I thought he never would. It’s...It’s surreal.” 

“I knew it would happen, love,” Bev said, “I told you. See, there are beautiful things about life after all.” 

“I know,” Richie smiled, “There definitely are.” 

“So, you have no idea where you’re even going?” Stan asked. 

“No idea,” Richie said, “He said he wanted it to be a surprise and completely on him, since I planned all the other times we hung out.” 

“I think it works out that way,” Stan said, “He was the one we were all waiting on, and now he’s taking you out. I bet it’s pretty symbolic for him too.” 

“Yeah!” Bev said, “This is such a big thing for both of you. And I’ll bet you anything he’s as nervous as you are right now.” 

“Probably not,” Richie laughed, “I’ve always been over dramatic.” 

“Have you met Eddie?” Stan said, “That guy is just as dramatic if not more.” 

Richie laughed, “I guess you could say that. He hasn’t texted me all day.” 

“The suspense builds,” Bev winked, and just as she finished her sentence, Richie’s phone buzzed with a text from Eddie. 

_ On my way to pick you up from Bev’s. X.  _

“Fuck!” Richie dropped his phone, “He’s on his way!” 

Bev smiled, helping Richie up and turning him around. He was in the nicest shirt he had, his hair styled perfectly, sprayed in his brand new cologne. 

“You look nothing short of beautiful, Rich,” she said, “He’s going to love it.” 

Richie smiled, hugging her tightly. “Thanks so much for all your help, Bevvie.” 

“Getting you ready is my greatest pleasure,” she said, “Now, go on. You’ve got a text to reply to.” 

_ Sounds good! Don't get stuck in traffic :)  _

“Hey,” Stan said, putting his hand on Richie’s shoulder. Richie turned to him, and Stan hugged him, digging his face into his shoulder. “I’m so happy for you.” 

“Thank you,” Richie hugged him back, “Thank you, both of you. I couldn’t have gone through this whole thing without you.” 

“And we are more than prepared to be your best man and maid of honor at the wedding,” Bev winked. 

“You know you will be,” Richie laughed, and he may or may not have started daydreaming about what it would be like to marry Eddie. 

The phone buzzed again. 

_ Here. :)  _

“It’s time,” Richie took a deep breath, hugging his friends one more time before grabbing his bag. “I shall get back to you guys with the details as soon as I can.” 

“I hope you have the most magical night of your life,” Bev told him, kissing his cheek. 

“Likewise. Something like that,” Stan teased. 

“I love you guys,” Richie said, walking out the door, “Thanks again!” 

Eddie was sitting in the car, tapping the steering wheel anxiously as he stared at the door and waited to see Richie come out. Finally, he saw his figure coming towards the car, but it was hard to make him out completely in the dark. The sun always set early that time of year. 

When he saw him get closer, Eddie jumped out of the car and ran around, jumping into Richie’s arms. He pulled back a little to look at him, and he couldn’t help but stare. 

“Hey Rich,” he said, gazing at him fondly. “You look so good.” 

“Hey, Eddie my love!” Richie rubbed his finger over Eddie’s cheek, “You...You do too.” 

“C’mon,” Eddie said, opening the car door for him, “We’ve got a date to go on.” 

As he started to drive, Eddie put his hand on Richie’s thigh, and Richie took his hand in his own, squeezing it and rubbing his thumb over his wrist. Eddie sighed blissfully, trying to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road. 

“And where will we be going tonight?” Richie asked, “Do I get to ask now?” 

Eddie laughed. “We’re on the way! You’ll see.” 

The drive didn’t take very long, and before they knew it Eddie was pulling into the parking lot of the nicest restaurant he knew. 

“Yummy,” Richie said, “Is this a pasta place?” 

“Yes,” Eddie said, “I know you love pasta, and I wanted to do nicer than Olive Garden, so I found this place. It has really good reviews.” 

“God, you’re a walking daydream,” Richie said, his leg bouncing again as Eddie parked, and in eagerness he opened the door before Eddie could do it for him.

Eddie walked to him and took his hand, squeezing it gently before resting them to his side as they walked. Richie squeezed tighter, and all of the looks of the people around them were completely invisible. 

“I’m here for my reservation,” Eddie told the lady in the front, “Eddie for two.” 

“Right this way,” she smiled, leading them inside. Richie looked around the restaurant in awe. There was a little fountain in the middle and extravagant art on the walls, candles lighting up each table. Eddie really had gone all out. 

“Here’s your table,” she told them, “You both look stunning.” 

They both thanked her and took the menus, sitting across from each other, and Richie rested his hand on Eddie’s thigh under it. 

“Order anything you want,” Eddie said, “It’s on me.” 

“Thank you, love,” Richie squeezed his thigh, and Eddie blushed. 

“Hi,” the waiter deadpanned, “What do you want?” 

Richie looked at Eddie and bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Lemonade and some good customer service, please.” 

The waiter pursed his lips in a straight line, writing it down and looking at Eddie wordlessly. 

“Root beer,” he said, “And a hint of good customer service.” 

The waiter squinted and walked away. 

“Jeez, what’s his problem?” Richie laughed. 

“Probably homophobic,” Eddie was laughing too, “It’s okay. We can make him even more uncomfortable.” 

“Terrorize society. I like your way of thinking,” Richie said, and went back to looking at the menu. 

The waiter returned with the drinks, pushing them harshly on the table. “What are you eating?” 

“Hmm,” Richie moved his hand to hold Eddie’s over the table. “I don’t know yet, how about you, Eddie my love? Nothing too harsh. You know I’ve got to fuck you after this.” 

Eddie couldn’t help his laughing, turning to the waiter’s red face. “What kind of food do you think would keep me fuckable? You look like a bottom.” 

“Listen,” the waiter spat, “Just tell me your order.” 

“I’ll have some five cheese marinara cavatappi to get me nourished enough to fuck real good,” Richie said, “And you, light of my life?” 

“Fettuccine alfredo. Something easy enough to get me dicked down after,” Eddie nodded. 

The waiter huffed, practically running away from the table, and both of them started to laugh. 

“Did you see the look on his fucking face?” Eddie said, “God, we’re going to get hate crimed in the middle of the fancy pasta restaurant.” 

“Correction, dear,” Richie laughed, “We’re going to fucking fight a homophobe in the middle of the fancy pasta restaurant.” 

“That does sound like my kind of night,” Eddie said, and he took a moment to really look at Richie. He was staring deep into his eyes, and he moved his free hand to push a strand of hair behind his ear. His face was glowing under the candlelight, and Eddie decided that he could stare forever. 

“Something on my face or something?” Richie joked, laughing nervously. 

“I just want to look at you for a while,” Eddie answered, “Is that okay?” 

“Yes,” Richie said, and he brought up Eddie’s hand to kiss it. “It’s more than okay, Eds.” 

Eddie gazed longer, and he felt that if he looked too long he might start to cry. There was a feeling in his body he never truly felt before, a sense of euphoria in the most serene way, his heart pounding but his face calm. He decided this must be what it felt like to be in love. 

Just before he could think about it too much, the waiter returned with the food. 

“Here,” he said, placing the plates down and turning around without another word. 

“Ryan is not getting a good review on Yelp,” Eddie laughed, pulling his plate closer. 

“Drag him, Eds,” Richie said, “Give him the best roast Yelp has ever seen.” 

“I’ll drag the hell out of his non-existent hairline, that’s for sure,” Eddie laughed. 

When their meals were almost over, Richie noticed Ryan the waiter serving a straight couple happily at another table.

“Hey Eds, watch this,” Richie said, and very carefully he used his fork to flick a curly noodle at Ryan’s back. He didn’t even notice. 

“Oh my god!” Eddie covered his mouth, “Wait, my noodles are stickier. Hold on.” 

Closing one eye for better aim, Eddie threw the noodle just when Ryan was turning his face so that it smacked his cheek. 

“Hey!” Ryan called out, but Eddie had already turned himself fully around while trying to conceal his laughter. 

Ryan gruffed and wiped the noodle off, returning to what he was doing. 

“Let’s do it at the same time,” Richie said, and they did it when he was turning again, but this time he caught them in the act. 

“I knew it was you two, goddamnit!” Ryan stormed over, slamming the table. “You guys need to leave.” 

“Oh no, Eds, we better get out of here,” Richie said, “Looks like our buddy Ryan is gonna snap!” 

“Say no more!” Eddie said, pulling out some cash and putting in on the table without even counting if it was enough. “Catch you later, Ryan! I’ve got some fucking to do!” 

“That’s not even enough money! Get back here!” Ryan stomped, but Richie and Eddie were already running out the door. 

“Jesus fuck,” Eddie laughed, “We better get out of here before they call the police.” 

“I think it’d be worth it,” Richie jumped into the car, “God, that was gold.” 

Eddie laughed as he drove away. “I can’t believe that happened.” 

“Can’t have our night without a little spice,” Richie winked, “Now, what’s next?” 

“Oh,” Eddie blushed, “There’s just a spot I want to take you.” 

“Sounds good to me,” Richie smiled, putting his hand back on Eddie’s knee. 

Eddie pulled into a parking lot of a shopping center, and at first it looked like any other casual shopping center. But then he drove a bit further, and Richie stuck his head out the window to take in the sight. 

There was a giant fountain in the middle over a stone floor, lanterns hanging around it to give the slightest touch of orange light. 

“Wow,” Richie said, “That’s...that’s beautiful.” 

“Isn’t it?” Eddie said, pulling into a parking spot just in front of it. 

This time, Richie let Eddie open the door for him, and Eddie kept his hand in his, leading him right in front of the fountain. 

“What are we doing here tonight, Eds? I want to hear your marvelous plans,” Richie asked. 

Eddie looked down nervously. “Well, um, I had this idea, I just thought-” 

“Hey,” Richie put his finger under Eddie’s chin to gently lift his face up, “It’s okay. What is it?” 

“I wanted to know if you wanted to dance here. With me.” 

“Dance?” Richie smiled, “What kind of dance?” 

“Slow dance, like a...like a couple,” Eddie said, “I know there’s not even music on, so it might be kinda stupid, but. Yeah.” 

Richie walked closer, placing his hands on Eddie’s hips. “I’d love to slow dance with you, Eds.” 

Eddie smiled shyly, wrapping his arms around Richie’s shoulders. He tried to remember what Mike had taught him, moving his feet in just the right way. But he leaned into Richie’s hold and moved with him, and Richie rested his chin on Eddie’s head, and he leaned in all the way to rest his cheek against Richie’s chest, his rapid heartbeat against his ear. And suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore whether he was doing it right or not. It just mattered that he was holding him, and he was moving him back and forth so very gently, and that he had never felt happier in his entire life. 

And standing in front of the fountain with their feet stumbling over stone, that must be what it felt like to be truly happy.

They didn’t know how much time had passed, melting into each other’s warmth, but at one point Eddie looked up, looking into Richie’s eyes. Richie was looking down at him intensely, his lip hanging slightly, like he had never felt deeper love before. And he hadn’t. 

“Do you wanna go home?” Eddie whispered. “I...I want you.” 

Richie smiled at him, rubbing his thumb over his hip. “Mhm. Let’s go.” 

They were silent for the ride home, but there was no awkwardness, or even nerves. Only pure love. 

And as soon as Richie unlocked the dorm’s door, Eddie threw his arms over him and kissed him. He had kissed him a countless number of times before, but this time was different. This time was deeper. This time was intense enough with feeling that he just might start to cry.

Richie didn’t take long to kiss him back, holding his face and closing his eyes, melting into the feeling of his lips on his. Eddie gently pushed his tongue into his mouth, licking over his lip, and Richie hummed contently. Eddie pushed him forward a little so he was pressing him against the wall, licking into his mouth gently. 

He kissed him long enough that his lip was red and puffy when he pulled back, looking up at his lover. Richie was looking at him with a glow in his eye that he hadn’t seen before. Yes, there was lust, but there was something beyond that. Love. Vulnerability. 

Eddie dove in and kissed his neck, just lightly kissing over it at first until he would find a good spot to suck, latching his lips over it and biting just hard enough to leave a mark. Richie pressed his face into Eddie’s hair, moaning just slightly as Eddie marked his neck, pushing his hands down Eddie’s back to rub his ass over his pants. 

Then, Eddie rubbed Richie’s thigh over his pants, kissing him again, and just when he let his hand stray over Richie’s growing erection Richie whimpered into his mouth, surrendering and picking Eddie up, walking him to the bed. 

Richie placed Eddie down on the mattress just hard enough to not be gentle, but with just enough tenderness not to be rough. He crawled on top of him and continued to kiss him, rubbing up his sides, and Eddie started to unbutton Richie’s shirt. 

Richie took both their shirts off and threw them to the side, completely losing the gentle regard he had for them this morning, and dove in to attach his lips to Eddie’s nipple, lapping at it while he played with the other with his thumb. 

Eddie gasped, threading his fingers in Richie’s hair. “Mm, yeah.” 

Richie pulled off, kissing Eddie’s chest. “Does that feel good, baby?” 

“You always make me feel so good, Rich,” Eddie whispered, pulling his hair. “God, you’re so fucking good.” 

“I can make you feel good, darling. I always want to make you feel good,” Richie kissed down his stomach, laying in between his legs. 

“Please, Rich,” Eddie whined, “Touch me. I-I want to feel you so bad, I want-” 

“Shh, it’s okay,” RIchie unbuttoned Eddie’s pants, “I’ll take real good care of you, baby. I’ve got you.” 

Eddie whimpered, biting his lip and staring down at Richie as he pulled off his pants and briefs, leaving him completely unclothed. It had been so long since they had done this, but this time was so different. This was something that he never experienced before. 

Richie kissed the inside of Eddie’s thigh, sucking a mark there. Eddie moaned at the contact, pulling Richie’s hair just a little harder. 

“Please, Rich, please,” he cried, “Need you-” 

Richie took the head of his cock into his mouth, sucking lightly but enough to make Eddie whimper. Richie looked up at him lustfully before going back down, latching his lips around the length and bobbing his head. 

Eddie quickly got lost in his moans and cries, his eyes half open as he gazed down at Richie, his eyes fluttered shut as he took him down his throat, his fingers digging into the soft skin of the back of his thighs to hold his legs open. 

“Ah, Rich,” Eddie moaned, “S-So good. Mm. Love your mouth so much.” 

_ Love you so much.  _

Richie kept doing that for a while, moaning around him every once in a while just because it felt so good to make him feel good, the vibration of his hums driving Eddie crazy. 

“Baby, baby, please,” Eddie stroked Richie’s hair, “I want to feel you, want you inside.” 

Richie pulled off slowly, kissing the head before he sat up, pulling himself up to kiss Eddie’s lips. Eddie would’ve never let anyone else kiss him after doing that, but he decided he would let Richie do absolutely anything he wanted. 

“You want me?” Richie asked, being somewhere in between seductive and insecure.

“Fuck, yeah,” Eddie stroked his cheek, “Want you so bad. Need you. Always need you.” 

RIchie pulled off just for a second to get the lube and a condom, setting it softly on the blanket beside them, kicking off his own pants and boxers. 

“I’ll always give you what you need,” Richie told him, applying lube to his fingers. “I’ll always take care of you, baby.” 

“Love for you to take care of me,” Eddie said, opening his legs wider so Richie could settle inside. 

“You’re mine,” Richie said, freezing just a little after he said it. “Are you?” 

“I’m yours,” Eddie answered. “All yours, Rich. Only you.” 

Richie leaned down to kiss him while he carefully pushed a finger inside. Eddie gasped, his grip on Richie tightening, but it barely burned. It felt so good to finally feel Richie inside. 

“You can move it, baby,” Eddie told him, sucking in his bottom lip. 

Richie whimpered and began pushing his finger in and out, leaving Eddie in a fit of gasps and sighs. 

“So good for me, my love,” Richie whispered to him, pushing his finger deeper, “I love feeling you so much.” 

“I wanna feel you,” Eddie pushed his hand up Richie’s chest, “Want you to fill me up real good. It feels  _ so  _ good, Richie.” 

“I’ll fill you up real good,” Richie pushed in a second finger, “Wanna make you cum, Eds. Love seeing how pretty you are when your cock leaks.” 

“ _ Richie,” _ Eddie moaned, shutting his eyes and letting his mouth hang open just slightly as Richie scissored his fingers open to get him ready, “All for you.” 

“Yeah, all mine,” Richie kissed his forehead as he pushed his fingers deeper, “Gotta get you all ready for me to fuck. You love that, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, fucking love it,” Eddie whined, “Want you to fuck me so bad. Want it now.” 

“Not yet, baby,” Richie pushed a third finger in, “I don’t want to hurt you. Not ever.” 

“Mm, but it feels  _ so  _ good,” Eddie whimpered, “Want your cock. Want it so bad.” 

“Shh,” Richie crooked his fingers up, “I’ll give you what you need.” 

Eddie felt Richie’s fingertips brush against his prostate, his eyes shooting wide open. “ _ Fuck!  _ Fuck, baby, right there. Don’t stop, please, don’t-” 

Eddie cut himself off by getting lost in his pleasure, tears building in the corners of his eyes. Richie whimpered just from looking at Eddie, eyes bouncing between his fingers pressing into Eddie’s hole and the look on his face, his own cock begging for simulation. 

“Pl-Please,” Eddie cried, cupping Richie’s face, and it’s all Richie needed to hear. 

He pulled his fingers out, kissing Eddie’s cheek to console him when he whimpered, and sat back to put the condom on. He coated it in lube, Eddie waiting for him breathlessly, and then he crawled forward, hovering on top of him and aligning. 

“C’mon Rich,” Eddie whispered, his mouth lingering just short of Richie’s so that he could feel his breath, “Make love to me.” 

Because that’s what it was. This wasn’t fucking. This wasn’t anything either of them have experienced before. This was making love. 

Richie kissed him as he pushed in, Eddie’s nails digging into his back as he took the stretch, but Richie didn’t move off of his lips. Finally, when he bottomed out, he pulled back a little to sigh. 

“Fuck, baby,” Richie cupped Eddie’s face, staying still to give him time to adjust. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Eddie whined, kissing Richie’s shoulder, “So are you.” 

After a moment, Eddie jerked his hips forward just slightly to give Richie the okay, and he began to move carefully. 

“M-More,” Eddie moaned, “I can take it.” 

“Okay, my love,” Richie kissed him softly before pulling out all the way, pulling off his lip just as he thrusted back inside. 

“Ah!” Eddie cried, wrapping his legs around Richie’s waist. “Yeah,  _ yeah.  _ W-Want more.” 

Richie thrusted again, and Eddie bit his shoulder. Richie moaned at the feeling of teeth grazing his skin, and he thrusted harder. At that, he pulled out again and then back in, starting to fuck him at a steady pace, his speed increasing every so often. 

“F-Fuck, fuck,” Eddie cried, “S-So good baby, you fuck me so good.” 

“Yeah?” Richie gasped, “Love fucking you so much. Love to fill you up.” 

The head of his cock grazed his prostate and Eddie cried out, his nails digging deep enough into the skin of his back to leave marks. This made Richie thrust harder and harder, hitting his prostate everytime. 

Eddie looked at his lover with a stray tear streaming down his face. “T-Touch me, please.”

Richie moved his hand down to wrap around Eddie’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the head before jerking it, matching his thrusts. 

“Fuck, Eddie, Eddie,” Richie cried, his thrusts growing more erratic, “You’re so perfect, so beautiful. So tight. So perfect, I love you, I love you so much.” 

“Gonna cum,” Eddie cried, “I’m gonna, I’m gonna-” 

“Come on, babydoll,” Richie told him, “Wanna see you cum for me.” 

With the last word, Eddie broke, spilling over his hand, tears still falling out of his eyes and Richie fucked him through his orgasm. 

“I love you, Richie.” 

That was all it took for Richie to cum too, digging his face in Eddie’s shoulder. It was probably the hardest he had ever cummed in his life. 

Richie collapsed onto Eddie, laying on top of him and trying to catch his breath. Eddie was trying to catch his breath too, weakly pulling his arm up to play with Richie’s hair lovingly. 

After a minute or so, Richie leaned up to kiss Eddie again and pulled out slowly, discarding the condom and laying next to him. 

“Can I wash you?” Richie whispered. 

“Yes,” Eddie answered, kissing his nose. 

Richie stumbled out of bed and picked Eddie up, carrying him carefully and walking to the shower. He put him down gently and turned on the warm water, testing it first before he led him inside. 

They were silent as they washed each other, gently threading shampoo covered fingers through each other’s hair and scrubbing each other’s bodies until they were all clean. Richie turned the water off and led him out, drying them off and handing Eddie some briefs to put on. 

Once they were half dressed, Richie picked Eddie up again and carried him to his bed, laying him down and laying beside him. Eddie tucked the blanket over them and cuddled onto Richie’s chest, shutting his eyes. 

“Eds?” Richie asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice. 

“Mhm?” 

“Did you mean what you said?” he asked, “I mean, about...about you being mine.” 

Eddie opened his eyes and smiled, kissing Richie lovingly. “Yes. I meant it.” 

“So,” Richie stroked Eddie’s hair, “What are we?” 

“I want you to be my boyfriend,” Eddie said, “I mean, if you’ll have me.” 

Richie kissed Eddie this time, deeper than he had before. There wasn’t lust in this kiss. Just pure, sweet love. “That’d be my dream come true.” 

Eddie smiled and closed his eyes again, nuzzling his face onto Richie’s chest. 

Before that, they had three rules. They didn’t kiss when it wasn’t time for sex, they didn’t wash each other and they didn’t sleep in the same bed after sex. They had broken all three rules tonight, and it felt a lot like living. 

Because they weren’t friends anymore, or whatever that arrangement was. 

Richie was Eddie’s boyfriend. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god we only have the little epilogue left! i can't believe it! thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and commenting !!


	12. twelve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just an epilogue!

They had been together for one month that day.

It was the heart of Christmas season now, the lights and wreaths decorating the dorm halls. Finals were around the corner and the semester was finally coming to a close. Ecstatic students cheered and danced through the halls, eager to return home for the break.

The past month had been nothing short of bliss for Richie and Eddie. Of course, it wasn’t exactly too different from their lives before that - movies, cooking, smoking and sex. But there was new stuff too. There was cuddling until they fell asleep, and public displays of affection, and kissing randomly throughout the day just because they wanted to. 

Richie sat criss crossed on Bev’s carpet, tying the bow crookedly over the gift. 

“Do you think he’ll like it? Like really?” Richie asked.

Bev laughed, the cotton ball from her santa hat hanging over her face. “He’ll love it, Rich. It’ll be like the best Christmas present of all time or something.” 

“I don’t know, I just hope he doesn’t think it’s like, stupid or something,” Richie sighed, “I really want him to like it.” 

“Hey,” Bev crawled over and pushed a strand of Richie’s hair behind his ear, “Don’t worry. It’s fucking adorable.” 

“Honestly didn’t know you had it in you,” Stan said, “Who fucking knew Richie Tozier would be a romantic?” 

“I beg your pardon, Stanley, I’m a loving fucking person,” Richie said, “Why is that a shock?” 

“Because you’re a disaster,” Stan said, “But, hey. She’s right. Don’t worry. He’s going to love it.” 

“I hope so,” Richie said, “It’s my first time...my first time having a boyfriend. Wow, a  _ boyfriend.  _ Can you believe that? Can you believe I can say that now!” 

“I can!” Bev exclaimed, “No one deserves a boyfriend more, babe. You’re living your best life and I am here for it.” 

“My boyfriend,” Richie smiled, “I just...wow. And to think this all started because I decided to be a little ballsy and ask my new roommate to watch a movie because I decided to make a new friend for once.” 

“Movies got you laid and then cuffed. That’s pretty legendary,” Stan said, “But it’s about time you’ve got someone. Now you can tell your bullshit jokes to him instead of me.” 

“Jealousy is a disease, Stanny,” Richie said, “Don’t worry. I’d never replace you.” 

“What a shame,” Stan rolled his eyes, “Now, hurry up. You’re going to be late.” 

“Right, right,” Richie finished up the wrapping, “I’ll get out of here before my presence inconveniences you any longer.” 

“I appreciate that,” Stan said, stepping up as well and pulling Richie into a hug. 

“Thanks, guys,” Richie said, “For everything. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.” 

“Save the sappy shit for your boyfriend,” Stan said, squeezing him once before letting go. “Have fun.” 

“Bye Richie!” Bev hugged him, “You’re going to have to tell me all about it.” 

“I will, Bevvie doll,” Richie said, “I sure will! See ya later!” 

Richie sang along as he drove, assuring from time to time that the present hadn’t fallen from the front seat beside him. It wasn’t exactly something that would break, but he didn’t want the bow to get damaged. Eddie always liked everything looking nice and neat, and in that sense it shocked him that he liked Richie. He at least owed him a nicely wrapped Christmas gift. 

When he got to the dorm, he held the present carefully and skipped through the hall, humming the last carol that was on the radio and swiping out his keys. 

“Hey, Eddie baby!” he called out before he even got out through the door. 

“Shit!” he heard Eddie say, and came in to find him standing by the oven. 

“Well, what do we have here?” Richie tossed down his bag and walked over, “Is Eddie Kaspbrak baking something?” 

“I didn’t know you’d be back that quickly. Ugh. I guess I lost track of time,” Eddie said, “I thought I’d make some cookies. Surprise you.” 

“And surprised I am!” Richie bent down to look at the cookies on the tray, “For me?” 

“No, for someone else,” Eddie teased, “I made M&M. Bev said you liked those ones.” 

“Fuck yeah! I can’t wait,” Richie grabbed Eddie by his waist and kissed him. “Merry Christmas, baby.” 

“It’s not Christmas for another six days,” Eddie laughed, kissing him back. 

“Nonsense! The entire month of December is Christmas,” Richie said, “And the next six days are going to be holiday and nothing but holiday.” 

“Are you sure your parents will like me?” Eddie asked, “I’d have made them some cookies too, but my baking sucks and they sure wouldn’t like me then.” 

Richie laughed and kissed the top of Eddie’s head. “They’ll love you, Eds. They’ve heard all about you and they’re so excited to meet you.” 

“I’m really happy they’re letting me come for the break,” Eddie said, “I sure as hell wasn’t looking forward to going back with my mom after getting the hell out of there.” 

“You’re always welcome to stay with me,” Richie said, “Wherever I go.” 

Eddie smiled, tucking his cheek against Richie’s chest. “But, there’s just one thing.” 

“What is it?” Richie asked. 

“My hometown is on the way to yours, right? Well, there’s an ice cream shop there...I always wanted to go on a date there,” Eddie said. 

Richie smiled, nuzzling Eddie’s hair. “Of course we’ll go on a date there.” 

“God, it’ll be weird to be down there,” Eddie laughed, “But I really want to go to that one place. With you.” 

“I’d love to see it, baby,” Richie said, “Now, let’s get these cookies ready.” 

Soon enough, the cookies sat on the table, and they were actually pretty good for Eddie’s first time. 

“I...I have something for you,” Richie said, pulling out the present. “I was going to give it to you on Christmas, but I think I’d like you to open it now.” 

“For me?” Eddie smiled, “I’ve got something for you too.” 

Eddie walked to the room, pulling out a present for Richie. 

“Would you look at that?” Richie grabbed it gently, “Big red bow and everything.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You can open yours first.” 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Richie said, tearing into the bag and pulling out a  _ very  _ nice light blue sweater. 

“My god, Eds! It’s so soft!” Richie held the sweater to his face, nuzzling into its warmth. 

“I hope you like it,” Eddie smiled shyly, “I saw it and thought it would look nice on you.” 

“I love it,” Richie said, kissing Eddie’s cheek. “I’ll wear it every single day.” 

Eddie laughed and pulled at his own present. “Now, let’s see what you got.” 

Richie pulled at his sleeve nervously while Eddie unwrapped it, and Eddie rested his free hand on Richie’s bouncing leg under the table. 

“Rich…” Eddie smiled as he pulled the book out, covering his mouth. 

The scrapbook had a picture of them on the front, big font reading  _ The story of Richie and Eds,  _ and each page had photos of their different adventures with dates and captions.    
Eddie went through each page, giggling a bit at the captions, and looked up at Richie with red cheeks. 

“Do you like it? I didn’t know if it was weird or-” 

Eddie got up and jumped over, wrapping his arms around Richie and burying his face into his neck. Richie quickly hugged him back, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back. 

“I love you so much,” Eddie said, pulling back so he could cup Richie’s cheek. “I really do.” 

Richie smiled, turning slightly to kiss his hand. “I love you too. So much.” 

“It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever given me,” Eddie said, “You’re...You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

Richie kissed him softly, and Eddie stroked his cheek as he kissed him back. It was so nice to kiss him like this - not in a sexual nature, or anything passionate. It was passionate, yes, but in a different way. Instead of fire, it was warmth. It was just love. 

By the next day, they were ready to get going. The weather was nice for a day in December, the sun peaking out and the temperatures slightly warm, but there was enough breeze for Richie to wear his new sweater. Eddie grabbed the last of his bags and took Richie’s hand, turning to leave the dorm. 

“See you next year!” Richie said to the dorm as they walked out, and Eddie shook his head. 

“So you really think your parents will like me?” Eddie asked nervously. 

“Don’t worry, Eddie baby. They’re so excited to meet you, you know,” Richie told him. 

“Okay,” Eddie sighed, “I just get worried.” 

“Don’t worry, love,” Richie said, “I promise they’ll love you.” 

Eddie smiled, resting his head against the car window. He must have drifted off, because before he knew it, he was opening his eyes to a very familiar place. 

“Great, we’re here,” Eddie groaned. 

“Good morning,” Richie said, “Indeed we are. Are you sure you want to go? I could turn around.” 

“No, I’m sure,” Eddie said, “I’ve got to make my childhood self happy by going on a date here.” 

It was strange to be in the old city again, but it was different than all the times before. Last time he had been here, Eddie had been a different person. He was timid and let everyone tell him what to do and wear ugly gray shirts. Now, he was wearing a cropped sweater he had bought at the mall with a girl he met in college and he was going to come out with his boyfriend, his boyfriend who made him feel free. He was free. 

“Here it is,” Eddie said, gesturing to the small ice cream shop beside them. 

Richie pulled into the parking stall, and Eddie took a deep breath. He was just a bit nervous to be out here again, but he wasn’t too nervous. 

He wasn’t afraid at all. 

Richie came around and opened Eddie’s door for him, grabbing his hand to lead him out of the car. 

“Welcome!” a voice said when they opened the door, and the girl turned around, widening her eyes. “Eddie, is that you?” 

Eddie smiled. “Yeah, it’s me. Hi Veronica.” 

“I haven’t seen you in a while, man,” she said, “What’s been up?” 

“I went off to college!” Eddie beamed, “It’s a whole new world out there. Really.” 

“I bet. My girlfriend is out at college right now, and she says it’s super freeing and all that. Maybe I’ll try to apply for next year,” Veronica said. 

“You should! Get the hell out of here. Maybe you can go to her school? College with the person you love makes it all that much better,” he told her. 

“Right,” she smiled, “And who’s this?” 

“Oh! Right. This is my boyfriend,” Eddie smiled. 

“I’m Richie,” Richie said, “Nice to meet ya.” 

“Nice to meet ya,” she said, “That’s wonderful, Eddie. He’s hot.” 

Both of them laughed. “I try my best,” Richie said. 

“Now, what can I get you guys?” she asked. 

Richie ordered a chocolate sundae and Eddie ordered vanilla. They sat at a table right by the corner window, the sun shining on Eddie’s face. 

Eddie held Richie’s hand over the table, rubbing over the top. He gazed at him lovingly, and it was like nothing could ruin his day. 

Then, the door opened, and a familiar voice entered the shop. Eddie froze. 

“Eds? You okay?” Richie asked. 

Eddie blinked. “Yeah. Yeah. It’s just…” 

Eddie turned around to look, groaning when his suspicions were true. “That’s my ex boyfriend.” 

“Fuck,” Richie said, “God, that guy? He looks like a big toe. Want me to beat him up in the middle of the ice cream shop?” 

“No, I got this,” Eddie said, taking a deep breath. “I got this. I got this.” 

“You got this,” Richie said, “What are we doing?” 

“You’ll see,” Eddie said, “Let’s go.” 

Eddie took hold of the rest of his sundae and grabbed Richie’s hand, pulling him away and leading him right to where Jacob was sitting with one of his equally idiotic friends. 

“Eddie?” Jacob asked. 

“Hey. It’s me,” Eddie replied. 

“Damn, I couldn’t even recognize you. Why are you dressing trashy now?” Jacob answered. 

“Started getting some actual good dick. It really changed me and my fashion sense,” Eddie said. 

“No you’re not,” Jacob said, “I know damn well you couldn’t find someone else.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong, fuckass,” Richie said, wrapping his arm around Eddie’s waist. “I hear mine’s way bigger. Should I prove it?” 

Jacob rolled his eyes. “What do you want, Eddie?” 

“I just wanted to thank you,” Eddie said, “I wanted to thank you, because if you never treated me like shit the way you did, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate how good it feels to be loved right. You may have made me feel small and helpless, but I’m sure as hell not anymore. I’m actually living my life now, and you know what? I’m so fucking happy. And, look at you. You’re still in this shitty town, wearing shitty clothes, and  _ I  _ know damn well that you couldn’t get a new boyfriend because no one would be stupid enough to put up with your shit. Am I right?” 

“Fuck off,” Jacob said, “You’re embarrassing yourself.” 

“I’m embarrassing myself?” Eddie laughed, “That’s fucking funny. Have fun dying alone, asshole.” 

With that, he dumped the rest of the sundae on Jacob’s head. 

“Hey!” Jacob shouted, scrambling to get up, but Richie and Eddie were already running out of the shop. Veronica laughed as she saw them run off. 

“Hurry!” Eddie laughed as they got to the car, Jacob still trying to chase after them with ice cream spilling over his face. 

Richie pushed the keys in and turned the car on, immediately zooming off while Jacob cussed. 

“Fuck you!” Eddie shouted out the window, and Richie flipped him off as they left the parking lot. 

Eddie and Richie turned to each other, and they broke into laughter. 

“Oh my god, oh my god! I can’t believe I did that!” Eddie pushed his face into his hands. 

“You’re a badass, Eddie Kaspbrak,” Richie said, “Badass.” 

Eddie pushed his head against the seat and looked out the window once, watching his home fade away as they drove further and further from the city, and then turned to Richie. Richie, who was so beautiful, the most beautiful person he had ever known, and Richie who loved him. Richie, who loved him, and at the same time made him feel so strong. And that’s what love was about, he decided. It wasn’t about control, or being trapped. With this love, he felt powerful and free. 

That’s what he was, holding onto Richie’s knee as he hummed the music on the radio, driving on the open road. 

He was not afraid at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's the end! thank you so much for everyone who supported my little au and left kudos and comments, I've saved every single comment and they mean so much to me. i really hope you guys had as much fun reading this and i did writing it! i remember coming up with it when quarantine first started. that did take me a while lmao  
> im going to be writing a new fic - but it'll be a (long) oneshot. keep a look out for that, whenever i get the chance to finish it!  
> love u x

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so that was my first time writing a scene like that so bear with me-  
> Come and say hi! My twitter is starlightozier and my tumblr is sarrdiaries ! I would love to talk Reddie and fics!


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